When you're divorced, you're gonna make mistakes. No doubt about it, period; that's the way it is. You're going to say the wrong things, act on questionable urges, and be confused and utterly unsure about appropriate actions on certain days, nights, and weeks. But it'll be alright, I promise.
How? These are all learning experiences in your new world of single-dom. Lord knows, I've said, texted, or emailed so many things I shouldn’t have to my ex, my kids, my friends, my family, and the list goes on and on and on and on. And not for nothing; this could be when the famous saying, “I put my foot in the mouth,” originated! But it's not just me; this applies to everyone going through what we're all going through now. People in the big imperfect world say things they don't always mean and/or are unsure how to communicate. And not for nothing, communication is in slang or acronyms with mobile devices. And more often than not, it comes across in a way - particularly in an email or text - that can sting. But here's the thing... I have realized that when mistakes happen, and I start to get sensitive, I choose to voice my opinion. MY OPINION. For example, the other day, I accomplished a lifelong dream of publishing two books, a lifelong dream for me (one is for children, and the other is all about divorce). This experience has been such an empowering learning experience for me. I self-published them both and figured out how to navigate getting both on Amazon, and into the hands of prominent box vendors. Not easy at all, it was super stressful making final edits and getting the books in distribution, but I DID IT.
Then came some unkind critiques. I’m open to them; however, the way they were said made me feel less than a newly published author, and I reacted in, well, not the best way. But I kept my cool and kept everything in line...with my voice. Voicing how you feel is fantastic in your growth journey and taking a stand for yourself is beyond liberating. Did I make some mistakes? Absolutely. But so many times mistakes happen and when from the mouth, your fingers (emailing, texting), and then that's when the actions really begin! However, I always try to learn from any errors and keep moving on a positive path. Also, forgive yourself – you are the only person who can deal with all the crazy emotions and stress...not everyone, not just a friend or two, YOU. Peace & love, Erin