Search Results

The new year is often a time of resolutions, grand plans, and self-improvement marathons. But as someone navigating life post-divorce, the beginning of a new year can feel like an emotional double-edged sword. It brings the excitement of fresh starts, the weight of reflection, and the pressure to "fix everything." This year, let’s approach our goals with kindness and compassion. Here are some gentle yet meaningful goals for stepping into the new year as a divorcee: 1. Focus on Small Wins Life after divorce can feel overwhelming, and tackling big, sweeping resolutions might feel too much. Instead, aim for small, attainable victories. Maybe it’s drinking one more glass of water daily, taking a 10-minute walk, or simply making your bed each morning. Small wins build momentum and remind you of your ability to move forward, step by step. 2. Prioritize Self-Care Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. This year, commit to carving out time for activities that nurture your well-being. Whether journaling, practicing yoga, reading, or even taking a long bath, these moments of self-investment are powerful acts of healing and growth. 3. Redefine Success The end of a marriage might have shifted your definition of success, and that’s okay. Use this new year to realign your goals with what truly matters to you now. Success might look like spending quality time with your kids, building a new career, or simply finding moments of peace and joy in your day-to-day life. 4. Rebuild Your Social Circle Divorce often changes friendships and social dynamics. Make it a goal to reconnect with old friends or explore new relationships. Join a club, attend events, or engage in enjoyable activities. Building a supportive network can help you feel less alone and more grounded. 5. Practice Gratitude Even in difficult seasons, there’s always something to be grateful for. Start a simple gratitude practice by writing down three daily things you’re thankful for. It’s a small habit that can shift your mindset and help you find beauty even in challenging times. 6. Allow Yourself to Dream It’s easy to put dreams on hold when life feels uncertain, but this year, permit yourself to dream again. Start small: What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try or learn? It could be as simple as taking a cooking class, starting a garden, or planning a solo weekend getaway. 7. Be Kind to Yourself Divorce often comes with an undercurrent of self-blame or feelings of inadequacy. This year, make it a goal to practice self-compassion. Speak to yourself the way you would a dear friend. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that healing is not linear. 8. Seek Support When Needed There’s no shame in seeking help through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends. Setting a goal to ask for support when needed is a sign of strength, not weakness. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. 9. Celebrate Your Independence Being alone is an opportunity to rediscover who you are and what makes you happy. Use this year to celebrate your independence in ways that feel authentic to you. This could mean decorating your space, setting boundaries, or simply enjoying the freedom to make choices that align with your values. 10. Embrace the Journey Finally, remember that goals are about progress, not perfection. Life post-divorce is a journey of growth, healing, and rediscovery. Be patient with yourself, and know that each step forward—no matter how small—is worth celebrating. The new year doesn’t have to be about dramatic changes or lofty resolutions. Instead, it can be a time to nurture yourself, set gentle intentions, and embrace the beauty of starting fresh. This year, let’s focus on moving forward with grace, kindness, and the understanding that you’re exactly where you need to be. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you kickoff 2025!

Here’s a fun and empowering playlist for divorcees to get through the holiday season with joy, resilience, and maybe even a touch of humor. These songs celebrate independence, self-love, and moving forward—perfect for anyone navigating this chapter of life. "All I Want for Christmas Is Me" – Mariah Carey (Parody) A twist on the classic because sometimes, the best gift is putting yourself first. "Last Christmas" – Wham! A nostalgic reminder of letting go of past loves and finding hope in the future. "Thank U, Next (Holiday Version)" – Ariana Grande (Parody) Celebrate the lessons learned and embrace what’s following holiday style. "Single Bells" – A parody of "Jingle Bells" Perfect for laughing at the joys (and occasional frustrations) of being single. "Let It Go" – From Frozen While not strictly a holiday song, it’s a must for anyone to let go of the past and embrace a fresh start. "I’ll Be Home for Christmas (If I Feel Like It)" – Bing Crosby (Parody) A tongue-in-cheek ode to doing the holidays your way. "All I Want for Christmas Is New" – Leona Lewis (Parody) A hopeful anthem for embracing new beginnings and possibilities. "Santa Baby" – Eartha Kitt For when you’re ready to channel your inner fabulousness and treat yourself. "Rockin’ Around the Single Tree" – Parody of "Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree" Celebrate decorating a tree all your own, however you like. "Holly Jolly Me-Mas" – Inspired by "A Holly Jolly Christmas" A lighthearted song about making the season all about you. Bonus Tracks for Empowerment: "Stronger" – Kelly Clarkson Because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger—even during the holidays. "I Will Survive" – Gloria Gaynor A classic anthem for conquering anything life throws at you. These tunes will help you embrace the season with a smile, some sass, and strength. Happy holidays! 🎄✨ Love, Erin

Divorce is often referred to as a "breakup of a family," but the truth is that family ties remain. They stretch, shift, and evolve over time but don’t disappear. For many parents, the hope is that the turbulence of divorce will smooth out as children grow older and everyone finds their rhythm in the new normal. But what happens when, years later, your child starts to take sides? It’s a gut punch, plain and simple. After all the effort you put into ensuring your kids felt loved and supported—even amidst your heartbreak—seeing them gravitate toward one parent or adopt a critical stance against you can feel like betrayal. But before you let resentment take root, it’s important to unpack what’s happening. Understanding the Dynamics When kids take sides, it’s rarely about picking a “winner” or “loser” in the divorce. Instead, it’s often a reflection of: Unresolved Emotions:  Even as adults, children may carry feelings they didn’t fully process during the divorce. These emotions can resurface at milestones like graduations, weddings, or the birth of their children. Influence from the Other Parent:  Sometimes, a parent may inadvertently (or deliberately) encourage loyalty conflicts through subtle comments or actions that paint the other parent negatively. Perceived Injustices:  Kids may misinterpret events or decisions during the divorce. For example, they might believe one parent didn’t fight hard enough for them or prioritize them. Their Life Challenges:  Sometimes, taking sides is less about you and more about your child’s own struggles. Aligning with one parent may feel like a way to gain stability or validation. What Not to Do Feeling defensive when your child pulls away or accuses you of past mistakes is natural. But how you respond can either deepen the divide or pave the way for healing. Here are a few missteps to avoid: Don’t Fight Fire with Fire:  Avoid bad-mouthing the other parent, even if you’re tempted to set the record straight. It won’t make your child feel better—it will just escalate the tension. Don’t Play the Victim:  While it’s okay to acknowledge your feelings, leaning too heavily on guilt or pity can push your child further away. Don’t Demand Loyalty:  Relationships are built on love and respect, not obligation. Forcing your child to pick sides will likely backfire. Steps Toward Reconnection If your child seems to be taking sides, it’s not necessarily the end of your bond. Here are steps to rebuild trust and understanding: Listen Without Defending:  When your child expresses grievances, resist the urge to justify your actions or correct their perspective. Instead, validate their feelings by saying, “I can see why you’d feel that way.” Acknowledge Your Mistakes:  If there are areas where you fell short, own up to them. A sincere apology can go a long way in mending fences. Share Your Perspective Thoughtfully:  When the time feels right, gently share your side of the story without casting blame. Focus on explaining your intentions rather than disproving their narrative. Strengthen Your Bond:  Invest in your relationship by creating new memories. Quality time can help bridge the gap and remind your child of the love you’ve always had for them. Seek Professional Support:  Family counseling or mediation can provide a neutral space for you and your child to work through lingering issues with guidance. The Bigger Picture It’s crucial to remember that relationships are fluid. Just as children grow and evolve, so do their perceptions of their parents. Taking sides today doesn’t mean they’ll feel the same way forever. You can navigate this challenging chapter with grace and hope by staying patient, empathetic, and open to communication. At the end of the day, your child’s allegiance isn’t the ultimate goal. What matters most is fostering a connection rooted in love, respect, and understanding—even when the journey to get there takes a detour.

There’s a particular pain that comes with feeling used or abused in a relationship. It’s the sting of realizing that someone you trusted, cared for, or even loved deeply, took advantage of your kindness, vulnerability, or generosity. It’s not just the actions that hurt but the erosion of self-worth that often accompanies them. If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone — and more importantly, know that there is a way forward. Recognizing the Signs of Being Used or Abused The first step to reclaiming your power is recognizing the signs that a relationship may be toxic. Sometimes, we stay in situations longer than we should because we want to see the good in people or believe things will change. Here are some common indicators: One-Sided Effort : You’re always giving — your time, energy, or resources — but receive little to nothing in return. Emotional Manipulation : Your partner or friend plays with your emotions to keep you controlled or off-balance. Lack of Respect : They dismiss your feelings, belittle your contributions, or fail to value your boundaries. Gaslighting : They deny your reality or make you question your perceptions. Physical or Emotional Abuse : This can range from insults and verbal attacks to physical violence. The Emotional Toll Being used or abused doesn’t just impact your relationship; it affects how you see yourself. You might start doubting your worth or questioning your ability to make sound decisions. It can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and even depression. But here’s the truth: you are not to blame for someone else’s mistreatment of you. Breaking Free Reclaiming your power begins with deciding to put yourself first. Here are actionable steps to help you: Set Boundaries : Define what you will and won’t tolerate. Communicate these boundaries clearly, and don’t apologize for them. Seek Support : Contact trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your experience can provide clarity and strength. Cut Ties if Necessary : If the relationship is causing you harm, it may be time to walk away. Ending a toxic relationship is not a failure; it’s an act of self-love. Rebuild Self-Worth : Engage in activities that bring you joy, set personal goals, and surround yourself with people who uplift you. Educate Yourself : Learn about healthy relationships so you can recognize red flags in the future. Finding Hope Though it might not feel like it now, being used or abused doesn’t define you; it’s a chapter in your story, not the entire book. Each day is an opportunity to heal, grow, and rediscover your worth. There’s strength in acknowledging your pain and using it as a catalyst for change. You deserve love, respect, and kindness — from others and yourself. A Message to Those Still Struggling: If you’re reading this and feel trapped, know there’s hope. Taking the first step toward freedom is often the hardest but also the most empowering. You don’t have to face this alone. There are resources, support systems, and people who care deeply about your well-being. You are stronger than you realize and worthy of a life filled with peace and genuine love. The journey of moving past being used or abused isn’t just about cutting ties; it’s about building a life where you can thrive. It’s about reclaiming your power and stepping into the fullness of who you are meant to be. You have the strength and you can make it through!

Dating can be thrilling, nerve-wracking, and sometimes downright confusing. It’s a journey of discovery, learning about someone else while also uncovering more about yourself. But there’s one pitfall that often trips people up: making assumptions. Or, as the clever breakdown reminds us—when you ASSUME, you risk making an “ASS out of U and ME.” Let’s dive into why assumptions can sabotage budding relationships and how to steer clear of them. This is one of the most impactful statement my journalism made to me while in college and I take it to heart! The Perils of Assumptions in Dating You Miss the Truth: Assuming someone feels the same way you do without clear communication can lead to misunderstandings. For example, just because your date texts you “Good morning” every day doesn’t necessarily mean they’re ready to define the relationship. They might just be polite! Unrealistic Expectations It’s easy to fill in the blanks with your hopes and fantasies, but projecting your idealized version of someone onto them can lead to disappointment. Remember, assumptions often paint an incomplete picture. It Creates Unnecessary Drama: Misinterpreting actions or words can spiral into needless conflicts. Maybe they’re quiet because they had a tough day, not because they’re losing interest. Addressing concerns head-on is much better than letting assumptions fester. You Undermine Your Own Confidence: Assumptions can also create insecurity. "They haven’t called—do they hate me?" These stories we tell ourselves often have no basis in reality. Don’t let your imagination sabotage your sense of worth. How to Avoid the Assumption Trap Ask, Don’t Assum: It sounds simple, but it’s powerful. If you’re unsure of their intentions, feelings, or plans—just ask. “Hey, I noticed you’ve been quiet. Is everything okay?” That one question can save you hours of overthinking. Focus on Facts: Base your thoughts and actions on what’s actually happening, not what you think is happening. For instance, if someone says they’re busy, believe them. Don’t immediately assume they’re uninterested. Communicate Clearly: Be upfront about your own feelings and intentions, and encourage the other person to do the same. Transparency fosters trust and reduces room for misinterpretation. Manage Expectations: Keep an open mind. The early stages of dating are about getting to know someone, not pinning them down as "The One." Enjoy the process without trying to define the outcome too soon. Stay Present: Instead of over analyzing their every move, focus on the time you’re spending together. Overthinking what something “means” distracts you from enjoying what is . The Takeaway Assumptions in dating can derail even the most promising connections. Instead of guessing, open the lines of communication and focus on being present. After all, dating is about discovery, not pre-written scripts. So, the next time you’re tempted to assume—pause, breathe, and choose clarity. By stepping away from the assumptions, you’ll create space for authentic connection and a dating experience filled with genuine joy (and fewer misunderstandings). What assumptions have tripped you up in dating? Share your stories in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts! xoxo Erin

Raise your hand if you’ve found yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., wondering how you got here. If you’ve ever tried to smile through the pain because you’re tired of explaining — tired of hurting. Divorce has a way of ripping through our lives, leaving behind emotional debris that feels impossible to clean up. Some days, it feels like we’re just shoving it all under the proverbial rug, hoping no one notices. But here’s the truth: You’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep hurting forever. The Quiet Grief of Divorce Divorce isn’t just a relationship ending; it’s a loss. It’s the death of dreams, shared visions, and the life you thought you’d have. It’s hard to grieve something intangible, especially when society pushes you to “get over it” and “move on.” Yet the pain is real, the loss is valid, and the healing process takes time. For many of us, the hardest part isn’t the logistics or even the separation itself. It’s the aftermath. The self-doubt. The loneliness. The constant battle between wanting to feel something again and being terrified of the vulnerability that comes with it. Why We Stay in the Hurt Sometimes, we stay in the hurt because it’s familiar. We’ve convinced ourselves that if we feel this pain long enough, it’ll eventually numb us to future disappointments. Or maybe we’ve let shame and guilt build walls around us so high that we can’t imagine climbing out. But staying in the hurt only robs us of the joy waiting on the other side. It keeps us from rediscovering who we are—and who we’re meant to be. Choosing to Heal Healing starts with one brave decision: to choose yourself. It’s not selfish; it’s survival. It’s saying, “I’ve hurt enough. It’s time to let go.” Let’s be clear, though—healing isn’t linear. Some days, you’ll feel like you’ve turned a corner, only to be hit by an emotional freight train. That’s okay. Give yourself grace. Take it one step at a time. Lean on friends, therapists, support groups, or even online communities. You don’t have to do this alone. What’s Waiting for You The beauty of healing is that it’s not just about letting go of the pain; it’s about making room for something better. For joy. For love—whether it’s love for someone new, your kids, your passions, or most importantly, yourself. When you’re ready, you’ll find that the world looks different. You’ll laugh without guilt, dream without fear, and love without conditions. You’ll look in the mirror and see not the scars of divorce but the strength of survival. So, Raise Your Hand Raise your hand if you’re tired of hurting. Raise your hand if you’re ready to take the first step, even if it’s tiny. Raise your hand if you believe—even if it’s just a whisper right now—that you deserve better. Because you do. And one day, you’ll look back on this moment not as the end, but as the beginning of something beautiful. Let’s heal together. One step at a time. It could take days, months or years, before you feel like. your new self however when you do it will be amazing. Raise your hand! Erin

As the year draws to a close, we look back at the evolving trends in divorce that have defined 2024. From societal shifts to legal innovations, this year has brought about significant changes in how we approach, navigate, and perceive divorce. Let’s explore the key trends that have emerged and how they reflect our changing world. 1. Amicable Divorces on the Rise The concept of the "good divorce" gained traction in 2024. More couples prioritized collaboration over conflict, opting for mediation and collaborative divorce processes rather than contentious litigation. This shift reflects a growing awareness of the emotional and financial toll of prolonged legal battles, especially on children. The rise of divorce coaches and therapists further supported this trend, providing couples with the tools to separate amicably while maintaining a focus on mutual respect and co-parenting. 2. Technology in Divorce Tech innovations continued to revolutionize the divorce process. This year saw the increased use of apps designed to simplify communication and scheduling for co-parents, making it easier to manage shared responsibilities without unnecessary friction. Virtual courtrooms and digital mediation sessions became the norm in many jurisdictions, reducing costs and increasing accessibility. Additionally, AI-powered tools offered insights into asset division and support calculations, streamlining decision-making. 3. The Financial Transparency Movement Financial transparency became a major talking point in 2024. With cryptocurrencies and digital assets becoming more prevalent, divorcing couples faced new challenges in uncovering and valuing hidden or unconventional assets. To address this, courts and financial experts emphasized thorough financial disclosures, and new regulations aimed to prevent financial manipulation during divorce proceedings. 4. Gray Divorce and Later-Life Splits The "gray divorce" trend, referring to divorces among couples over 50, continued to grow in 2024. Longer life expectancies and a focus on personal fulfillment have led many to reevaluate their marriages later in life. This demographic faced unique challenges, including dividing retirement accounts and managing healthcare needs. However, they also showed resilience and adaptability, often seeking guidance from financial planners and therapists to navigate this life transition. 5. Cultural Shifts in Stigma Divorce has become less stigmatized, with 2024 marking a turning point in how society views ending a marriage. Social media platforms played a significant role in normalizing divorce, with influencers and public figures openly sharing their experiences. The rise of supportive online communities has provided a space for individuals to connect, share stories, and find resources, fostering a sense of empowerment and solidarity among those navigating divorce. 6. Focus on Children’s Well-Being Child-centric divorces remained a priority in 2024. Innovative co-parenting arrangements, such as "nesting" (where children stay in one home while parents rotate in and out), gained popularity as families sought to minimize disruption for their kids. Schools and extracurricular organizations also stepped up, offering resources and support systems to help children adjust to their new family dynamics. 7. Pre-Divorce Counseling Preventative measures became a notable trend this year, with more couples seeking counseling before deciding to divorce. Therapists and relationship coaches worked with couples to explore whether their issues could be resolved or if a separation was truly the best path forward. This approach reflects a desire for intentionality and thoughtful decision-making in ending marriages. 8. Legislative Changes Several states implemented or proposed changes to divorce laws in 2024, focusing on equitable asset division and streamlined processes. New policies around spousal support and parenting plans aimed to create fairer outcomes for all parties involved. Looking Ahead The trends of 2024 highlight a continued shift toward empathy, fairness, and innovation in divorce. As societal norms evolve and technology advances, the way we approach this life event will undoubtedly keep changing. Divorce is no longer seen as a failure but as a transformation—an opportunity to grow, redefine relationships, and embrace new beginnings. For those navigating divorce in 2024 and beyond, these trends offer hope and practical tools to face the future with confidence.

Divorce, once viewed through a lens of stigma and sorrow, has evolved significantly over the years. Today, it’s less about endings and more about new beginnings. Modern divorce trends reflect a shift in how society perceives and approaches separation, emphasizing empowerment, personal growth, and mutual respect. On Divorcee Dish , we’re diving into the latest trends reshaping the divorce landscape and why they matter to those embarking on this life-changing journey. 1. Conscious Uncoupling: More Than Just a Buzzword Coined by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin during their famously amicable split, "conscious uncoupling" emphasizes mutual respect and understanding. This approach focuses on preserving relationships, particularly for co-parents, while fostering emotional healing. Instead of contentious court battles, many couples are choosing to work collaboratively through their separation, prioritizing empathy and shared goals. 2. Co-Parenting Apps: Tech-Savvy Solutions for Families Technology is making co-parenting smoother than ever. Apps like OurFamilyWizard and Cozi help divorced parents manage schedules, share important updates, and even track expenses. These tools reduce miscommunication and keep everything organized, creating a more harmonious co-parenting experience. 3. Gray Divorce: Redefining Midlife Divorces among individuals over 50, often termed “gray divorce,” are on the rise. With people living longer and redefining their later years, many are choosing to prioritize personal happiness and fulfillment. This trend reflects a broader societal shift toward embracing change at any age. 4. Divorce Coaches: Emotional and Practical Support Much like a life coach, a divorce coach helps individuals navigate the emotional and logistical challenges of separation. From guiding conversations with ex-partners to helping you rebuild your self-esteem, divorce coaches provide tailored support for those feeling overwhelmed. 5. Post-Divorce Therapy and Wellness Retreats Healing after divorce is as important as the legal process itself. Wellness retreats, designed specifically for divorcees, are gaining popularity. These retreats focus on self-care, offering workshops on mindfulness, meditation, and rebuilding confidence. They provide a space for people to reset and rediscover themselves. 6. Nesting: Keeping the Kids in One Place In the spirit of minimizing disruption for children, many parents are embracing "nesting." This arrangement allows kids to remain in the family home while the parents alternate living there. While it’s not a long-term solution for most, nesting offers stability during the transition period. 7. Collaborative Divorce: Leaving Court Battles Behind The rise of collaborative divorce is perhaps one of the most significant trends. This process involves a team of professionals—lawyers, financial advisors, and therapists—working together to help couples reach an amicable agreement. It’s less adversarial and often more cost-effective than traditional divorce proceedings. 8. Financial Literacy for Women: Empowering Independence For many women, divorce can be a wake-up call about financial independence. There’s a growing emphasis on financial literacy during and after divorce, with online courses and workshops designed to help women manage their assets, plan for the future, and feel secure in their financial decisions. 9. Rebranding Divorce: Celebrations and Fresh Starts Gone are the days when divorce was solely marked with heartbreak. Divorce parties, symbolic ceremonies, and personal milestones are becoming more common as individuals reclaim their narratives. These events celebrate courage, growth, and new beginnings. 10. Social Media Etiquette: Navigating a Digital World In today’s hyper-connected age, how you present your divorce on social media matters. Many are choosing to approach the topic with dignity and respect, avoiding the temptation to air grievances online. Social media has become a platform for support and shared stories, with divorcees finding community through relatable content. Embracing Change with Confidence Divorce is no longer just a legal process—it’s a transformative journey. By embracing these new trends, individuals are reclaiming their stories and shaping their lives on their terms. Whether you’re navigating co-parenting, exploring new opportunities, or rediscovering yourself, know that you’re not alone. At Divorcee Dish , we’re here to celebrate your strength, resilience, and journey toward a brighter future. What trends in divorce have resonated with you? Share your thoughts in the comments or join our community for more conversations about thriving after separation. We are here for you! Erin

Dating after divorce can feel like stepping into a whole new world. Whether you were married for a few years or a few decades, the dating landscape may have shifted significantly since you were last single. From navigating dating apps to understanding modern relationship dynamics, it can be overwhelming. That’s where the idea of a dating coach comes in. But do you really need one? Let’s dive into the pros and cons of hiring a dating coach and how they might help you find love again. Why Consider a Dating Coach? A dating coach is like a personal trainer for your love life. They offer guidance, advice, and strategies to help you feel confident and prepared for the dating world. Here’s why they might be worth considering: 1. Building Confidence After a divorce, it’s common to feel vulnerable or uncertain about your self-worth. A dating coach can help you rebuild your confidence by highlighting your strengths and teaching you how to present your best self. They’ll help you focus on what you bring to the table, not what you’ve lost. 2. Navigating Modern Dating Dating has evolved—there’s no denying that. From crafting the perfect dating profile to deciphering dating app etiquette, a coach can guide you through the intricacies of modern romance, helping you avoid pitfalls and make meaningful connections. 3. Identifying Patterns Sometimes, we fall into patterns of unhealthy relationships without even realizing it. A dating coach can help you identify any toxic tendencies or red flags, ensuring you enter the dating world with a fresh perspective and healthier relationship goals. 4. Tailored Advice Generic dating advice often falls flat because everyone’s experiences and needs are unique. A dating coach works with you one-on-one, offering tailored advice that aligns with your personality, goals, and relationship history. Do You Need  a Dating Coach? While a dating coach can be helpful, they’re not a necessity for everyone. Here are some questions to ask yourself when deciding if it’s the right step for you: Do you feel stuck or unsure about where to start? If the idea of dating feels daunting or confusing, a coach could help you take those first steps. Are you repeating old patterns? If you’ve noticed a tendency to gravitate toward the same type of partner or relationship issues, a coach can help break the cycle. Do you have specific dating goals? Whether you’re looking for casual connections or a long-term partner, a coach can help you develop a strategy to achieve your goals. Are you ready for constructive feedback? A dating coach may challenge you to step out of your comfort zone or rethink your approach. If you’re open to this, it could be transformative. Alternatives to a Dating Coach If hiring a dating coach doesn’t feel like the right fit, there are other ways to get support: Join a Support Group : Many people find comfort and guidance in divorce support groups, where they can share experiences and advice. Read Books or Blogs : There are countless resources that offer insights into dating after divorce. From self-help books to blogs, you can find advice tailored to your needs. Work with a Therapist : If you’re struggling with emotional baggage from your divorce, therapy might be a better starting point before diving into the dating world. The Bottom Line Dating after divorce doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all approach. Whether you choose to work with a dating coach or navigate this journey solo, the key is to prioritize self-discovery and personal growth. A coach can be a helpful guide, but the most important work happens within you—rediscovering who you are, what you want, and what you deserve. So, do you need a dating coach? Maybe. But the real question is: Are you ready to take the leap and start exploring the possibilities of love again? Take your time, trust yourself, and remember—your next chapter is entirely yours to write. What’s your take on hiring a dating coach? Have you tried one or considered it? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Divorce is tough on everyone involved, especially children. Even years after the papers are signed and the dust has settled, you might still blame yourself for the split—at least in your children’s eyes. It’s a weight no parent wants to bear, primarily when you’ve worked hard to create a loving, stable environment after the separation. So, what do you do when your kids still blame you for the divorce, even after many years? Let’s unpack this complex emotional terrain together. 1. Understand Their Perspective Children often view their parents as their anchors in life. When that foundation shifts due to divorce, it can feel like a betrayal. Even if they are adults now, unresolved feelings from childhood might linger. In their minds, assigning blame can sometimes be a way to make sense of something they didn’t understand at the time. Remember, their perspective might not be rooted in the entire story but in how they experienced the divorce emotionally. 2. Acknowledge Their Pain Rather than immediately defending yourself, try validating their feelings. Saying something like, “I can see that the divorce was really hard for you,” shows that you’re listening and empathetic. Often, young or grown kids need to feel heard more than they need to hear an explanation. 3. Resist the Urge to Defend Yourself It’s natural to want to clear your name. Maybe the divorce wasn’t your choice, or you feel their accusations are unfair. But arguing or deflecting blame can shut down the conversation. Instead of focusing on fault, steer the dialogue toward understanding and healing. You can gently offer context without blaming the other parent or yourself: “There were things in our marriage that just couldn’t be fixed, and the decision to divorce wasn’t easy for either of us.” 4. Be Honest, But Age-Appropriate If your children still blame you, it might be because they don’t have the whole picture. Over time, as they mature, you might feel it’s appropriate to share more about what led to the divorce—but always in a way that respects their relationship with both parents. Transparency can foster understanding, but it aims to clarify, not sway them to your side. 5. Focus on Your Actions Post-Divorce One of the best ways to heal strained relationships is to focus on what you’ve done since the divorce. Have you consistently been there for your kids? Have you supported their milestones? Have you worked to co-parent effectively, even when it was hard? Over time, actions speak louder than blame. You can ask them: “What can I do now to help us move forward?” This shifts the focus from the past to the present and shows your commitment to repairing and strengthening your relationship. 6. Accept What You Can’t Control Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your kids may harbor resentment. This can be heartbreaking, but it’s important to remember that their emotions are theirs to process. You can’t rewrite the past, but you can continue to show up in the present with love and understanding. It might also be helpful to suggest therapy for them or even for both of you. A neutral third party can help untangle old wounds and guide everyone toward a healthier relationship. 7. Take Care of Yourself Carrying the blame for a divorce, even unjustly, can take a toll on your mental health. Remember to prioritize your well-being. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a counselor who can help you navigate this emotionally charged situation. Your ability to model self-care and emotional resilience can also show your children that healing is possible—even years after the divorce. 8. Give It Time Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but it can offer perspective. As your children grow older and experience their own relationships, they may understand that divorce is rarely black and white. Be patient and open the door for honest conversations whenever they’re ready. Final Thoughts Divorce is a profound transition that affects everyone differently. If your kids still blame you for it years later, know that you’re not alone—and it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible parent. Relationships, especially those as deep as parent and child, take ongoing work and compassion to heal. Ultimately, your willingness to listen, acknowledge their pain, and show up for them consistently will speak volumes. You may not be able to change the past, but you can always shape the future—together. Have you experienced this in your own life? Share your thoughts or story in the comments below. Let’s remind each other that healing and understanding are always within reach. Xoxxo Erin

Divorce reshapes many aspects of family life, including how holidays are celebrated. While the transition can feel overwhelming, rotating holidays between co-parents is one solution that often benefits children in surprising and heartwarming ways. Here’s why this approach works well for kids and how you can make it a success. Why Rotating Holidays is Beneficial for Kids Creates Consistency and Predictability: A rotating holiday schedule lets kids know exactly where they will spend each holiday. This predictability fosters a sense of stability and security, helping them adjust to life post-divorce. Maintains Special Traditions Each parent can preserve unique family traditions during their designated holiday. This strengthens bonds and enriches the child’s sense of family identity with both parents. Reduces Conflict and Stress When parents agree in advance on a holiday schedule, it minimizes last-minute conflicts. Kids are incredibly perceptive, and reducing tension between parents creates a more joyful atmosphere. Quality Over Quantity Instead of trying to split a holiday day in half (leading to rushed transitions), rotating full holidays lets children enjoy uninterrupted quality time with each parent. How to Implement a Rotating Holiday Schedule Start with a Plan - Use a calendar to map out significant holidays for the year. - Decide which parent will have each holiday on an alternating basis. For example, one parent might have Thanksgiving and Christmas in odd years. 2. Incorporate Flexibility Life happens, and flexibility is vital. If a family wedding or another critical event falls on “your holiday,” consider swapping with your co-parent to keep the bigger picture in mind. Communicate Clearly Share the plan with your children in age-appropriate terms. For younger kids, keep explanations simple and reassuring, emphasizing that they’ll celebrate special moments with both parents. 4. Celebrate on Alternate Days If your holiday rotation means you won’t see your child on the holiday, create a new tradition for the day before or after. For example, you could celebrate “Second Christmas” or have a New Year’s Eve dinner. 5. Work as a Team Share details like gift-giving plans to avoid duplication or misunderstandings. Collaborative communication shows your child that their happiness is your shared priority. Keeping the Focus on the Kids No matter how you structure the holiday rotation, the ultimate goal is to make these occasions joyful and stress-free for your children. They'll feel loved and valued when their parents work together to give them happy memories. Rotating holidays may require adjustment, but they can become a cherished family rhythm. For kids, the gift of love and cooperation between their parents is far greater than any toy under the tree. Have you found strategies for sharing holidays post-divorce? Let me know in the comments or connect with me on Divorcee Dish —we’re all in this together. Resource: Our Family Wizard is an excellent resource for this, check them out here: https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/holiday-custody-schedules-can-be-easy

Co-parenting after a breakup or divorce is never easy, especially when your ex makes decisions that ripple through your children’s lives in ways you can’t control. As a parent, it’s heart-wrenching to watch your kids bear the brunt of choices you had no hand in making. Whether it’s broken promises, instability, or outright negligence, these moments test your patience, resolve, and, sometimes, ability to take the high road. While every situation is unique, frustration, helplessness, and anger are universal. You may wonder: Why can’t they see how their actions affect our children? Why can’t they just get it together? The Reality of Imperfect Choices Sometimes, your ex's choices aren’t malicious—they’re shortsighted. They might not realize how skipping a weekend visit, failing to attend a school event, or prioritizing their needs over the kids can leave emotional scars. Other times, the choices are more concerning, like exposing the kids to unhealthy relationships or neglecting their financial or emotional responsibilities. You can’t control their behavior, but you can  control how you respond. Protecting Your Kids’ Well-Being When faced with the fallout of your ex’s decisions, your priority has to be your children. Here are some strategies that can help: 1. Focus on Stability in Your Home Children thrive on routine and predictability. If your ex introduces chaos, make your home the sanctuary where your kids feel safe, loved, and understood. Consistency in your rules, love, and attention will counterbalance the instability they may experience elsewhere. 2. Keep Open Communication Kids are observant, even when they don’t say much. They may notice when things feel off, but they might not know how to discuss it. Create an environment where your children feel comfortable expressing their feelings. Ask gentle, open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about what happened this weekend?” 3. Never Badmouth Your Ex As tempting as it might be, badmouthing your ex in front of the kids only confuses and hurts them. They love both parents and shouldn’t feel they must choose sides. Instead, model maturity and resilience. If they ask questions about a broken promise or other issue, respond neutrally: “I’m sorry that happened. Let’s talk about how you’re feeling.” 4. Document Problematic Patterns If your ex’s choices are genuinely harmful—such as endangering your children’s physical or emotional safety—it’s essential to document incidents. Keep a record of missed visitations, concerning behavior, or communication lapses. These can be critical if you ever need to revisit custody arrangements. 5. Seek Professional Help if Needed Family therapy or counseling can be incredibly beneficial, giving kids a neutral space to process their feelings. It also provides you with tools to navigate these challenges constructively. Remember: You’re Not Alone Dealing with an ex who makes poor choices is exhausting and emotionally taxing. It’s okay to lean on your support system—friends, family, or even an online community of parents in similar situations. Sharing your experience can provide perspective and remind you that you’re not alone. The Bigger Picture Ultimately, your children will grow up and form their own opinions about their parents. They’ll see who showed up for them, who made sacrifices, and who always put their needs first. Even if your ex doesn’t recognize the impact of their choices now, your children will one day understand the strength and love you brought into their lives. In the meantime, keep showing up for your kids, keep being the parent they deserve, and keep reminding yourself that your influence, choices, and love will make the difference they need. This is a complicated topic, and when your ex makes poor decisions, it's super hard. I hope that your children will see straight through them one day.