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Dating after divorce can feel like stepping into a whole new world. Whether you were married for a few years or a few decades, the dating landscape may have shifted significantly since you were last single. From navigating dating apps to understanding modern relationship dynamics, it can be overwhelming. That’s where the idea of a dating coach comes in. But do you really need one? Let’s dive into the pros and cons of hiring a dating coach and how they might help you find love again. Why Consider a Dating Coach? A dating coach is like a personal trainer for your love life. They offer guidance, advice, and strategies to help you feel confident and prepared for the dating world. Here’s why they might be worth considering: 1. Building Confidence After a divorce, it’s common to feel vulnerable or uncertain about your self-worth. A dating coach can help you rebuild your confidence by highlighting your strengths and teaching you how to present your best self. They’ll help you focus on what you bring to the table, not what you’ve lost. 2. Navigating Modern Dating Dating has evolved—there’s no denying that. From crafting the perfect dating profile to deciphering dating app etiquette, a coach can guide you through the intricacies of modern romance, helping you avoid pitfalls and make meaningful connections. 3. Identifying Patterns Sometimes, we fall into patterns of unhealthy relationships without even realizing it. A dating coach can help you identify any toxic tendencies or red flags, ensuring you enter the dating world with a fresh perspective and healthier relationship goals. 4. Tailored Advice Generic dating advice often falls flat because everyone’s experiences and needs are unique. A dating coach works with you one-on-one, offering tailored advice that aligns with your personality, goals, and relationship history. Do You Need  a Dating Coach? While a dating coach can be helpful, they’re not a necessity for everyone. Here are some questions to ask yourself when deciding if it’s the right step for you: Do you feel stuck or unsure about where to start? If the idea of dating feels daunting or confusing, a coach could help you take those first steps. Are you repeating old patterns? If you’ve noticed a tendency to gravitate toward the same type of partner or relationship issues, a coach can help break the cycle. Do you have specific dating goals? Whether you’re looking for casual connections or a long-term partner, a coach can help you develop a strategy to achieve your goals. Are you ready for constructive feedback? A dating coach may challenge you to step out of your comfort zone or rethink your approach. If you’re open to this, it could be transformative. Alternatives to a Dating Coach If hiring a dating coach doesn’t feel like the right fit, there are other ways to get support: Join a Support Group : Many people find comfort and guidance in divorce support groups, where they can share experiences and advice. Read Books or Blogs : There are countless resources that offer insights into dating after divorce. From self-help books to blogs, you can find advice tailored to your needs. Work with a Therapist : If you’re struggling with emotional baggage from your divorce, therapy might be a better starting point before diving into the dating world. The Bottom Line Dating after divorce doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all approach. Whether you choose to work with a dating coach or navigate this journey solo, the key is to prioritize self-discovery and personal growth. A coach can be a helpful guide, but the most important work happens within you—rediscovering who you are, what you want, and what you deserve. So, do you need a dating coach? Maybe. But the real question is: Are you ready to take the leap and start exploring the possibilities of love again? Take your time, trust yourself, and remember—your next chapter is entirely yours to write. What’s your take on hiring a dating coach? Have you tried one or considered it? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

You’re in the middle of an intimate moment, the mood is right, and things are flowing—until he drops that  question: "Are you going to climax?" And just like that, the vibe is gone. Let’s be real: this question can feel like a giant mood killer. It turns something that’s supposed to be natural and fun into a performance review. Instead of staying in the moment, you’re suddenly pulled into your own head, wondering if you’re taking too long, if you’re too quiet, or why this even became a topic in the first place. It’s a buzzkill, but it doesn’t have to spell disaster. Let’s unpack why this happens and how to handle it when it does. Why It Feels Like a Buzzkill For many women, intimacy is about connection, feeling comfortable, and losing yourself in the moment. When the question “Are you going to climax?” is thrown out there, it can feel like: Pressure to Perform:  Instead of focusing on what feels good, you’re now worried about the timeline or whether your partner is judging you. A Disruption:  It’s hard to stay in the zone when your partner shifts gears from being present to checking for a progress report. Validation-Seeking:  The question can come across as more about them—wanting to know if they’re doing a “good job”—rather than about you. Why He’s Asking To be fair, this question doesn’t usually come from a bad place. Many men ask because: They genuinely want to know if you’re enjoying yourself. They’re worried they’re not doing enough or doing the “right” things. They’re conditioned to think that climax is the ultimate marker of success in the bedroom. However, what they don’t realize is that the way  they ask—and the timing —matters. Good intentions can still derail the moment if it feels forced or clinical. How to Handle It in the Moment If you’re mid-moment and this question pops up, you can handle it with grace and without completely derailing the mood: Redirect with Kindness: Instead of shutting down, keep the energy positive. “Let’s not worry about that—just keep doing what you’re doing.” This shifts the focus back to the experience instead of the outcome. Lighten the Mood: If the vibe allows, use humor to defuse the awkwardness. “Are you writing a report on this or something? Let’s just enjoy ourselves!” Playfulness can help you both relax. Communicate Gently: If the question is bothering you, it’s okay to speak up without ruining the moment. “When you ask that, it makes me feel a little rushed. Let’s just take our time.” Why It’s Worth Talking About Later If this keeps happening, it might be time for an honest conversation outside the bedroom. Let him know how the question affects you, but frame it in a way that builds connection rather than creates defensiveness: Acknowledge His Intentions: “I know you’re asking because you care about how I’m feeling, and I appreciate that.” Explain How It Feels: “When you ask me if I’m going to climax, it pulls me out of the moment and makes me feel pressured.” Offer a Better Approach: “I love when you’re focused on what feels good for both of us. Let’s just enjoy ourselves and not worry about the finish line.” For the Men Reading This If you’ve ever asked this question, know that it’s not the end of the world. But here’s the truth: intimacy is about connection, not performance. Women don’t need to climax every time to have a fulfilling experience, and asking for a progress update often adds unnecessary pressure. Instead of focusing on the end goal, try asking things like: “Do you like that?” “What feels good right now?” These questions keep the mood playful and open, without making your partner feel like they’re on a timer. The Takeaway Asking, “Are you going to climax?” might seem harmless, but it can derail the moment by turning intimacy into a checklist. The good news? With a little communication and mutual understanding, you can avoid this buzzkill entirely. Instead of focusing on the outcome, prioritize connection, exploration, and fun. When both partners feel relaxed and in sync, pleasure comes naturally—no awkward questions required. So, next time you’re caught in the moment, let go of the need for answers and just enjoy the journey. let's focus on the fun, please do not ask questions. :) Erin

Divorce is tough on everyone involved, especially children. Even years after the papers are signed and the dust has settled, you might still blame yourself for the split—at least in your children’s eyes. It’s a weight no parent wants to bear, primarily when you’ve worked hard to create a loving, stable environment after the separation. So, what do you do when your kids still blame you for the divorce, even after many years? Let’s unpack this complex emotional terrain together. 1. Understand Their Perspective Children often view their parents as their anchors in life. When that foundation shifts due to divorce, it can feel like a betrayal. Even if they are adults now, unresolved feelings from childhood might linger. In their minds, assigning blame can sometimes be a way to make sense of something they didn’t understand at the time. Remember, their perspective might not be rooted in the entire story but in how they experienced the divorce emotionally. 2. Acknowledge Their Pain Rather than immediately defending yourself, try validating their feelings. Saying something like, “I can see that the divorce was really hard for you,” shows that you’re listening and empathetic. Often, young or grown kids need to feel heard more than they need to hear an explanation. 3. Resist the Urge to Defend Yourself It’s natural to want to clear your name. Maybe the divorce wasn’t your choice, or you feel their accusations are unfair. But arguing or deflecting blame can shut down the conversation. Instead of focusing on fault, steer the dialogue toward understanding and healing. You can gently offer context without blaming the other parent or yourself: “There were things in our marriage that just couldn’t be fixed, and the decision to divorce wasn’t easy for either of us.” 4. Be Honest, But Age-Appropriate If your children still blame you, it might be because they don’t have the whole picture. Over time, as they mature, you might feel it’s appropriate to share more about what led to the divorce—but always in a way that respects their relationship with both parents. Transparency can foster understanding, but it aims to clarify, not sway them to your side. 5. Focus on Your Actions Post-Divorce One of the best ways to heal strained relationships is to focus on what you’ve done since the divorce. Have you consistently been there for your kids? Have you supported their milestones? Have you worked to co-parent effectively, even when it was hard? Over time, actions speak louder than blame. You can ask them: “What can I do now to help us move forward?” This shifts the focus from the past to the present and shows your commitment to repairing and strengthening your relationship. 6. Accept What You Can’t Control Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your kids may harbor resentment. This can be heartbreaking, but it’s important to remember that their emotions are theirs to process. You can’t rewrite the past, but you can continue to show up in the present with love and understanding. It might also be helpful to suggest therapy for them or even for both of you. A neutral third party can help untangle old wounds and guide everyone toward a healthier relationship. 7. Take Care of Yourself Carrying the blame for a divorce, even unjustly, can take a toll on your mental health. Remember to prioritize your well-being. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a counselor who can help you navigate this emotionally charged situation. Your ability to model self-care and emotional resilience can also show your children that healing is possible—even years after the divorce. 8. Give It Time Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but it can offer perspective. As your children grow older and experience their own relationships, they may understand that divorce is rarely black and white. Be patient and open the door for honest conversations whenever they’re ready. Final Thoughts Divorce is a profound transition that affects everyone differently. If your kids still blame you for it years later, know that you’re not alone—and it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible parent. Relationships, especially those as deep as parent and child, take ongoing work and compassion to heal. Ultimately, your willingness to listen, acknowledge their pain, and show up for them consistently will speak volumes. You may not be able to change the past, but you can always shape the future—together. Have you experienced this in your own life? Share your thoughts or story in the comments below. Let’s remind each other that healing and understanding are always within reach. Xoxxo Erin