The kids will soon be out of school during the holidays, and the New Year is approaching. It can all seem so overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you that now is the time to simplify your life.
Let’s say you're past the two-year mark of your divorce and still feeling unsettled; that means it's time to make a change. You're on your own, maybe dating, maybe not, yet the world
seems spinning, and you have questions about your heart, mind, and body. But it'll never happen if you sit and wait for things to settle down.
The average person “puts off” 10-15 items on their to-do list yearly. That may not seem like a lot at first glance but believe me, it adds up quickly. Some of the top tasks that I continually put off are:
Clearing out closets and storage clutter
Reorganizing my son’s room so it's not toy overload.
Budgeting: I feel like I move money around way too much
Deep cleaning my house
Spending time with friends
Phone calls – I admit I will ignore calls if I don't want to talk right then and there
Planning, whether it's vacation, money, or other activities, chores, commitments
Talking and updating family
Taking time outside the house for a massage or something I desperately need for physical/mental balance
Going to the doctor
General home projects, e.g., it took me six weeks to unbox and build a dresser 🙃
Those are just a few things I push away and say I will get to them, but how? How?? Do you think I can make things easier? The answer is YES. But the key is to commit to one thing at a time. Here are some suggestions to get something off your plate:
Hand it over: Can you or would you hand over house cleaning? Bills? Cooking?
Make time to spend time with friends for support and escape.
Hire a landscape company or teen neighbor willing to do yard work
Find a friend who likes to organize and see if they are free to help you.
Do one thing at a time or work on one room at a time if it involves small projects; I find to get one task completed makes me feel great (even if it takes months)
Schedule an annual checkup with your doctor, dentist, and eye doctor; please make sure to commit to it and make appointments that work with your schedule and won't overwhelm you.
Work out or simply move for at least 30 minutes a day
Eat well and follow a balanced diet.
Start doing something for yourself, even if it's just 1x a month.
Please be honest: When you don't feel like talking over and over about the same thing (i.e., your split), tell people who are asking.
Get some fresh air, clear the mind, journal, and take 5-minute breaks every hour
Make decisions and stick to them; do not overthink
And last but not least, you do you and keep doing you, meaning no apologies for what you are feeling or how you're acting; you know what you need
We all tend to try and fill our schedules to the brim so often; that's just human nature. But it’s not good or healthy in any way, shape, or form. Take some time, give yourself a break, and don’t burn the candle at both ends.
Now, ask yourself these questions (we're almost done, I promise!):
How can I treat myself better?
Have I set boundaries for what I can and cannot control?
Do I say yes too much?
Can I learn to say no?
Can I carve out some funding for support?
I guarantee you that you can do it. It's actually so simple.
Until next time, Erin