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  • Refrain from wasting your time with non-communicators

    You don't have to do anything with a mean person, so don't waste your time. When someone is being mean or unresponsive, you can remove yourself from their presence and go somewhere else, finding people who love and support you. Dealing with non-communicators is like pulling teeth – people these days (mostly) have lost the art of kindness when interested in someone. If you are stuck at work with a disrespectful friend, date, or other who won't leave you alone or if they live next door and constantly invite themselves over for dinner (or worse), it's time for severe boundary-setting. Set boundaries about when and where it's okay for them to talk with you--and stick by those rules! You need to protect yourself and practice boundaries. Protect your time. Practice boundaries. Have a plan for dealing with mean people, and stick to it! You should only waste your time on someone else's drama if you have the energy and patience. Otherwise, we suggest avoiding it at all costs. Mean people are rude, disrespectful, and completely ignorant in the communication area. They don't care about you or your feelings and will do everything they can to make you feel bad about yourself. They have little regard for others and their needs; they only care about themselves! You are better than that! It's not just their behavior that makes them mean, but also how they communicate with others: They don't listen—When someone is mean to us, it's easy to get defensive because we feel like we're being attacked or insulted by what they say or do. However, this isn't always true (or fair). Sometimes, when someone says something hurtful or critical about us, it may be because they don't know better! That doesn't make them less wrong, in any case. Building a relationship means two-way communication via phone or in person: There's no better way to communicate than in person or on the phone because you can hear the other person's tone and body language. Texting is impersonal and not ideal for relationships--you need to be able to listen to the other person's voice! If someone can not commit to that run, they are a poor friend, and you must protect yourself. If your kids text you disrespectfully and don't respond when you ask them not to text at all or very sparingly, they are also disrespectful. A relationship requires two-way communication, and texting is only proper communication if it is with your kids, who are still learning about their phones! Building relationships means talking on the phone or in person; there is no other way around it! We are all entitled to our opinions, but it's time to walk away when someone is mean or disrespectful. They are not worth your time if they cannot commit to two-way communication. You deserve better than that! Hold your heart to the highest level!

  • Navigating the Unknowns: What Happens After Election Day? 7 days later.

    As the dust settles after an election, many people are left with mixed emotions: relief, excitement, worry, or even confusion. The period after an election is crucial, often filled with complex processes, potential changes, and questions about what comes next. Here, we break down some of the unknowns that emerge after the votes are tallied and the importance of this transition period. The Transition of Power: What Does It Involve? Once election results are confirmed, the transition begins, particularly in high offices. This time is about preparing the incoming team and ensuring they have the knowledge, access, and tools for effective governance. Transition teams work to gather key information on everything from budget plans to foreign policy. This transition helps ensure continuity and stability as one leader or team moves out and another moves in. What if There’s a Recount? (if only) Recounts or challenges are part of the post-election process, especially in close races. Most recounts are straightforward, but they can introduce uncertainties and delay in announcing final results. In recounts, counties or states meticulously review ballots to confirm the accuracy of the results. Depending on local laws, recounts may be automatic if the race is closed or candidates request them. What Changes With New Policies and Promises? Campaign promises often spark curiosity or skepticism about their implementation. After an election, the winning candidate or party may outline a roadmap for their policy initiatives. The legislative process can be lengthy, involving proposals, debates, and compromises. This time is crucial as it shapes what will be prioritized, delayed, or modified, meaning that the post-election period can set the tone for future legislation and public policy. The Role of the Judicial System In some cases, courts may play a role in election-related matters, such as validating election results, overseeing recounts, or addressing disputes. The judicial system serves as a check to ensure fairness and legality in the electoral process. Legal interpretations can influence elections in certain instances, setting precedents for future cycles. Community and Voter Engagement Post-election periods are a reminder of the importance of community engagement beyond the voting day. For many, election results inspire a renewed focus on local issues, nonprofits, or advocacy groups that align with their values. Grassroots efforts can keep communities connected and active, advocating for policies or programs and ensuring that elected officials are held accountable. It’s a time to harness momentum and turn election-inspired energy into action, from volunteering to town hall discussions. How Will This Affect the Economy? Economic adjustments often occur after elections as markets react to anticipated policy changes. These fluctuations can be linked to anticipated tax, trade, or spending policies. Leadership changes can create uncertainty, but markets tend to stabilize as new policies are clarified. Understanding the economic landscape can help businesses and individuals navigate these shifts more effectively. Media and Public Discourse: Setting New Narratives: After an election, the media often shifts focus from campaign news to analyzing election impacts and what’s on the horizon. News outlets might provide more coverage of legislative agendas or key figures in the incoming administration, shaping public expectations and perceptions. Engaging with trusted media sources and exploring a range of perspectives can help individuals stay informed and gain insight into the new administration’s objectives. Elections are not merely one-day events but a broader journey in shaping the future. The post-election period is essential, where the principles of democracy, transparency, and accountability come into play. This time is about more than just the transfer of power—it’s about fostering an informed, engaged public that understands the promises and challenges ahead. By staying informed and participating in community discussions, we can each play a role in navigating the unknowns that follow an election. This period may come with uncertainties, but it also offers opportunities for individuals to reflect, participate, and hold elected officials accountable for building a better tomorrow. All I can say is stay true to yourself, be the peace this world needs, and know that kindness will ultimately win. Sending love to all. Erin

  • Being Single and Loving It: Embracing the Joy of Solo Life

    There’s something wonderfully liberating about embracing singlehood. Far from the traditional notions that being single is a period of waiting, it's actually a rich and fulfilling phase of life. Whether you’re recently single or have been flying solo for a while, there’s so much to love about it. Here’s why being single can be a joy and how to make the most of this empowering time. You Set the Rules, and You Call the Shots When you’re single, you’re the ultimate decision-maker in your life. Want to move across the country? Try a new hobby? Spend an entire weekend binge-watching your favorite shows. Go for it! This freedom lets you prioritize your wants, dreams, and goals without compromise. It’s an exciting time to take bold risks, explore new interests, and set personal goals that align solely with your happiness and aspirations. Being single lets you focus completely on creating a life that feels good to you. It’s a golden opportunity to set rules and fully embrace what brings you joy. The Art of Self-Care Becomes a Priority Being single often brings a heightened focus on self-care. You have more time to mentally, physically, and emotionally understand what you need. Self-care can become a regular practice rather than an occasional treat. This might mean setting up a morning routine that nourishes you, cooking meals that make you feel good, or diving into a creative project you’ve always wanted to start. When you’re single, you’re in the perfect position to build habits that make you feel grounded, fulfilled, and happy. The best part? You get to focus on yourself without guilt, and you realize that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Strengthening Friendships and Connections Romantic relationships can sometimes take up a lot of emotional energy, leaving little time for friendships and other connections. Being single allows you to reconnect with friends and family or build new, meaningful relationships. You have more time to invest in friendships, and often, these connections grow more profound and more prosperous when you’re single because you’re more present and engaged. Take this time to prioritize the people who support, encourage, and inspire you. A good friend circle brings so much joy, fun, and adventure to life, making singlehood feel even more fulfilling. Discovering What Truly Makes You Happy When you’re single, you have the space to explore and discover what truly brings you joy—without the need for validation or compromise. You get to dig into your interests, try things you may have overlooked before, and build a life that’s tailored just for you. It’s a beautiful time to explore solo travel, pick up new hobbies, or dive deeper into interests you love. Maybe you’ll find that painting or hiking brings you peace or discover a passion for cooking or dancing. Being single lets you experiment with what makes you happy and determine what truly resonates. Learning Self-Confidence and Independence One of the most empowering aspects of being single is the self-confidence that comes with knowing you can rely on yourself. You become more resilient, resourceful, and self-sufficient, valuable qualities in any area of life. This sense of independence fosters a more profound self-confidence rooted in your ability to navigate life on your terms. Being single can teach you to be comfortable with solitude, enjoy your company, and find peace within yourself. This self-assurance becomes an invaluable part of who you are and makes you even more fulfilled and grounded. Embracing Flexibility and Spontaneity With no commitments holding you back, you can be as spontaneous as you’d like. You can make plans without consulting anyone else, change your mind at the last minute, or book a trip on a whim. Embracing this flexibility means you can fully savor the freedom to live in the moment and embrace life’s little adventures. Whether you feel like spending the weekend exploring a new city or simply lounging at home, being single allows you to adapt fully, adjusting to your wants and needs without limits. Cultivating a Growth Mindset Singlehood is a great time to focus on personal growth. Without relationship responsibilities, you can pour energy into self-improvement, whether it’s developing new skills, advancing your career, or deepening your spiritual practice. This time is yours to build the foundation of the person you want to be, creating a fulfilling, purpose-driven life. Take advantage of the opportunities to learn, grow, and reflect. By focusing on becoming the best version of yourself, you’re preparing for a future where you feel strong, happy, and fulfilled—whether you stay single or eventually choose to partner up. Redefining Success on Your Terms Society often equates success with being in a relationship or getting married, but the truth is that success is deeply personal. When you’re single, you have the chance to redefine success in a way that’s meaningful to you. Whether that means traveling the world, pursuing a passion, or just enjoying a peaceful and joyful life, being single lets you celebrate your accomplishments without pressure from anyone else. Redefine success as finding fulfillment, happiness, and purpose on your terms. Embrace this time to create a life that’s authentically and uniquely yours. Loving Life as a Single Person Singlehood isn’t a time to bide your time until something better comes along. It’s a life phase full of richness, freedom, and possibility. It’s a chance to know yourself better, build resilience, and experience life in a way that’s entirely your own. Embrace being single, fall in love with the journey, and realize you don’t need a relationship to be happy or fulfilled. Being single and loving means appreciating yourself, celebrating your individuality, and recognizing that you are enough just as you are. Whether singlehood is a phase or a lifestyle choice, revel in the joys of living life solo—and loving every minute. You must love yourself first before you love someone else. xoxo Erin

  • Finding Love on a Dating Show: Real or Just an Illusion?

    Dating shows captivates us, promising that love can be found in the most unconventional settings. With candle-lit dinners, exotic locations, and the constant thrill of competition, they create a world where romantic possibilities seem endless. But when the cameras stop rolling, do these connections last? Is the love real, or just a captivating illusion? The Power of the Fantasy From the moment contestants step onto a dating show, they’re immersed in a setting designed to heighten emotions. Luxury dates, high-stakes competitions, and intense conversations are all crafted to encourage fast connections. Producers often create an atmosphere so heightened that contestants may feel they’re experiencing “love” when, in reality, it might just be the excitement of the show. The fantasy element isn’t just for contestants—it’s also for the audience. We tune in to see people fall head over heels in days as if love can unfold perfectly in a few short weeks. The real world rarely offers such a fairytale experience, but the show invites us to imagine it can. Accelerated Connections: Love or Infatuation? In reality, relationships typically evolve. People go through different phases, learning about each other gradually. But on dating shows, everything is fast-tracked. Contestants must decide if they’re “all in” after only a handful of dates—something that can lead to initial solid bonds but isn’t always sustainable. This accelerated pace can create a sense of infatuation rather than lasting love. Contestants feel intense emotions and, in the heat of the moment, may believe they’ve found “the one.” But is this deep love or just a rush of adrenaline? The Role of Competition in Creating Connection On most dating shows, there’s an underlying sense of competition. Contestants aren’t just pursuing love; they’re also vying for screen time, audience attention, and sometimes even a financial prize. This competitive element can create a unique environment where relationships feel heightened and urgent. Knowing that others are vying for the same person can push contestants to display their best selves, but it can also lead to a “win at all costs” mentality, where the real objective gets lost in the game. Love Under the Spotlight: Real or Performative? Love on a dating show isn’t just between two people; it’s also shared with millions of viewers. Contestants know that every romantic gesture, every declaration of love, is being observed, recorded, and edited for entertainment. This can lead to a performative type of romance, where contestants may act the part of the perfect partner rather than exploring a genuine connection. But for some, the cameras become a backdrop and a true connection blossoms. These couples surprise the world and thrive long after the season ends. They manage to find something real amid the lights and cameras, something that transcends the show itself. Real-Life Test: What Happens After the Show? The true test of any reality TV relationship comes when the show ends. Without the high-stakes environment and constant attention, couples must adapt to real life, facing everything from morning commutes to grocery shopping. Some thrive in this setting, building a deeper connection, while others quickly realize that their “love” was more a product of the show than an authentic bond. For those who do make it work, the experience becomes a shared story—a unique beginning that bonds them in a way few others can understand. For others, the magic fades, and they wonder if it was real at all. So, Is It Real or an Illusion? Finding love on a dating show is a mix of reality and illusion. The connections made are undoubtedly real, heightened by the extraordinary circumstances and the human desire for connection. However, these relationships are formed in an environment so far removed from the every day that they can feel more like an escape from reality than a foundation for lasting love. For some, the illusion fades into real-life romance, proving that love can bloom even in unconventional settings. For others, it’s a beautiful, fleeting experience—a chapter of romance in a book that ultimately holds a different ending. Ultimately, love on a dating show is like a spark: it’s bright, exciting, and full of potential, but whether it grows into a lasting flame depends on what happens once the cameras are gone and reality sets in. What do you all think about this?

  • Navigating Election Day Stress: Tips for a Healthier Mindset

    Election Day brings a wave of emotions for many people: anxiety, excitement, frustration, and hope, among others. The heightened atmosphere of political campaigns, the stakes involved, and the uncertainty of the outcome can all contribute to increased stress. Here’s how you can navigate the emotional challenges of Election Day while taking care of your mental well-being. 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Feeling stressed, anxious, or even overwhelmed during an election is completely normal. Take a moment to identify and name your emotions. Acknowledging your feelings can help you process them more healthily rather than suppressing them. 2. Limit Media Consumption While staying informed is essential, constant news updates and social media posts can elevate stress levels. Consider setting time limits on news consumption or using apps restricting screen time. Checking updates at scheduled intervals can help you stay in the loop without feeling inundated. 3. Focus on What You Can Control Election outcomes are unpredictable, but there are some things you can control, such as casting your vote, volunteering for a cause you believe in, or having meaningful conversations with loved ones. Taking positive action, however small, can help reduce feelings of helplessness. 4. Take a Break Engaging in self-care activities is essential. Consider going for a walk, practicing yoga, meditating, or spending time with family and friends. Giving your mind a chance to reset can make it easier to handle stressful situations. 5. Breathe and Relax Breathing exercises and mindfulness practices can significantly reduce feelings of anxiety. Try deep-breathing techniques, such as inhaling for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, and exhaling for four seconds. Repeat this cycle several times to calm your nervous system. 6. Find Comfort in Your Community Connecting with people who share your values and beliefs can be reassuring. Engage in discussions, virtual meetups, or community gatherings where you can find support and solidarity. Just be mindful to keep conversations respectful and productive. 7. Plan for Self-Care on Election Night Election Night can be especially stressful, so plan activities that keep you engaged and relaxed. This might include watching a favorite movie, cooking a comforting meal, or doing something creative like painting or writing. Having a plan in place can make the night feel less overwhelming. 8. Stay Grounded with Gratitude In moments of stress, shifting your focus to gratitude can be helpful. Reflect on the things you’re thankful for, big or small. It’s a simple yet powerful way to center your emotions and maintain perspective. 9. Prepare for Uncertainty No matter the outcome, it may take time for all results to come in, and the aftermath may continue to generate tension. Preparing for this and reminding yourself that life will continue beyond Election Day can be comforting. 10. Reach Out if You Need Support If Election Day stress becomes unmanageable, don’t hesitate to contact mental health professionals or supportive friends and family. Sometimes, just talking about your concerns can provide immense relief. Remember:  Your well-being comes first. Taking steps to manage Election Day stress doesn’t mean you care any less about the issues; it just means you’re ensuring you have the strength and resilience to keep engaging meaningfully in the future. Stay safe, and take care of yourself. Somehow, Someway no matter what happens we can make it through together!

  • When You've Taken All You Can Take with Your Ex: A Path to Peace and Empowerment

    Relationships don’t always end when a divorce is finalized. For many, the lingering ties with an ex-spouse can bring stress, frustration, and a seemingly endless loop of unresolved issues. If you’ve reached the point where you feel like you’ve taken all you can take with your ex, you’re not alone. Navigating these emotions isn’t easy, but healthy ways exist to set boundaries, reclaim peace, and regain a sense of empowerment. 1. Recognize the Patterns and Set Boundaries If your ex repeatedly brings drama or tension into your life, it’s time to examine the patterns that might be affecting your emotional well-being. Maybe they’re disregarding your boundaries, involving you in their struggles, or trying to control situations that no longer require your involvement. By recognizing these patterns, you’re setting the stage for change. Healthy boundaries are essential here. Start by defining what is – and isn’t – your responsibility. Clear, respectful communication can help you establish boundaries without turning every encounter into a confrontation. Action Step:  Write down specific behaviors that cross your boundaries and determine responses that keep you in control. Practice phrases like, “I’ll need to leave if we can’t keep this civil” or “Let’s stay focused on the topic related to the kids,” and stick to them. 2. Communicate with Calm, Clarity, and Consistency When emotions run high, it’s easy to get caught in heated arguments, but this often fuels the cycle of frustration. If your ex has a habit of pushing your buttons, approach each interaction calmly and consistently. Staying calm is key to protecting your peace. Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly, even if your ex attempts to sidetrack the conversation. Over time, remaining calm can transform how they interact with you, helping to de-escalate future conflicts. Action Step:  Practice breathing or take a moment before responding to messages. If in person, keep interactions brief and focused to avoid unnecessary conflict. 3. Let Go of the Need for Validation Sometimes, we want validation from our ex – hoping they’ll admit fault or recognize how their actions affect us. But, in most cases, waiting for them to take responsibility only drains your emotional resources. Recognizing that you don’t need their validation to feel heard or valued is liberating. Instead, find your validation within yourself. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you, seek advice from friends or support groups, or keep a journal to remind yourself of your growth and strength. Action Step:  Write a letter to yourself acknowledging your progress and the challenges you’ve overcome. Look to this when you need encouragement rather than seeking it from your ex. 4. Accept What You Can’t Control One of the biggest energy-drainers is trying to control things that can’t be controlled. If your ex is making unreasonable decisions or continuing toxic behaviors, it can feel overwhelming. But trying to change them – especially after the relationship has ended – is usually a recipe for frustration. Focus on what you can control: your own reactions, boundaries, and choices. You’ll find a renewed sense of power over your own life by letting go of what you can't control. Action Step:  When feeling frustrated by your ex’s behavior, pause and ask, “Is this within my control?” If not, practice letting go. Over time, this mindset can bring surprising freedom. 5. Create Space for Self-Care and Healing Reclaiming peace after a relationship ends often means shifting focus away from your ex and yourself. What brings you joy? What helps you feel grounded? Set aside time to reconnect with the things that nurture your spirit. This could mean taking up a new hobby, finding a physical outlet like yoga, or even starting therapy. Your well-being doesn’t need to depend on your relationship with your ex. By creating space for self-care, you make room for healing, growth, and new positive energy to enter your life. Action Step:  Schedule weekly “self-care” time to do something solely for you. Whether it’s a walk in nature, a creative project, or simply some quiet reading time, give yourself this gift regularly. 6. Seek Support and Connection If you’re feeling isolated in these challenges, reach out for support. Talking to friends, family, or a professional therapist can bring relief and valuable insights. Sometimes, sharing our frustrations with someone who understands can help us gain new perspectives and move forward more confidently. Joining support groups or online communities can also be a great resource. Others going through similar situations can offer advice and remind you that you’re not alone. Action Step:  Identify at least one person or group you can contact when you need a boost. They can be a sounding board, a source of advice, or a comforting presence during tough times. 7. Reclaim Your Life’s Direction Ultimately, the goal is to shift from feeling reactive to feeling empowered. By setting boundaries, embracing self-care, and focusing on what you can control, you pave the way for a brighter future. Each time you choose peace over an exhausting interaction, you reclaim a piece of your life. Taking back control from a challenging relationship with an ex isn’t easy, but every step toward empowerment is a victory. It’s a journey of resilience, self-respect, and the realization that your peace and happiness are worth every effort. You’ve got this – and the life you deserve is waiting on the other side. Please, Please make sure you take care of you!

  • When a Parent Chooses a New Relationship Over Family: Disappointments and Lessons

    When a relationship ends, the hope is that both people can continue prioritizing what’s truly important, especially if kids are involved. But sometimes, an ex gets swept up in a new relationship and loses sight of their responsibilities to their family, leaving kids feeling neglected and hurt. It’s a hard reality to face, but over time, there are lessons that both the kids and the parents left behind can learn from the experience. The Pain of Being Put Last It’s tough enough for kids to see their parents separate, but watching one parent prioritize a new relationship over time spent with them is another thing entirely. Instead of being present at school events, sports games, or family dinners, they’re off making memories with someone new. Kids notice these things more than we realize – they see the empty seats in the stands, the missed phone calls, and the change in enthusiasm. For children, the feeling of being put last can be deeply hurtful, leading to confusion and disappointment that can take years to heal. Trying to Keep the Routine (When It’s Anything but Routine) Kids thrive on stability and deserve a routine that makes them feel safe and secure. But when an ex is more focused on a new relationship than their parent role, it disrupts that stability. Every canceled weekend visit or last-minute schedule change can chip away at their sense of security. As a consistent parent, I try to keep things as predictable and loving as possible, making sure my kids know they can count on me. In time, they’ll understand that consistency and commitment are what real love looks like. The Importance of Showing Up While it’s disappointing to watch someone choose a new relationship over their family, it’s also a powerful reminder of the importance of showing up. My kids need someone who is there through thick and thin and makes them feel valued, cherished, and important. I want them to know that love isn’t about convenience or temporary happiness but commitment and putting family first. Reframing the Disappointment as a Life Lesson One of the hardest parts of parenting is watching your kids go through pain. But with time, I hope to help them see that even this experience, as disappointing as it is, can be a learning opportunity. This situation reminds us that not everyone will meet our expectations or give us the love we deserve, but that doesn’t make us any less deserving of respect and loyalty. By reframing their father’s absence as a lesson, I hope to give my kids the tools to build stronger, healthier relationships in the future. Building a Support System Around Them Even if their other parent isn’t present, I aim to create a support system that fills those gaps. From family members who show up for the big moments to friends who provide positive role models, I’m committed to surrounding my kids with genuinely caring people. We focus on building a rich life with love, fun, and positivity so they know they are never alone – even when someone else chooses to be absent. Turning Hurt into Strength Over time, I hope my kids will see that they are stronger when facing this experience. One day, they’ll know they deserve to be a priority in any relationship, whether with friends, partners, or family members. The disappointment they feel now won’t define them—it will make them resilient and give them a clearer picture of true love and commitment. A Final Thought: Choosing Love That Lasts For anyone who has watched an ex prioritize a new relationship over their kids, know you’re not alone. It’s painful, frustrating, and sometimes heart-wrenching, but in the end, it’s a reminder to choose love that lasts – love that shows up, makes sacrifices and keeps family first. So, here’s to being the parent who shows up, puts family first, and loves without limits because our kids deserve nothing less.

  • Why Some Men Feel the Need to Send Unsolicited Photos: Unpacking the “Why”

    In the age of digital communication, a peculiar and often unwelcome trend has emerged: the unsolicited “private photo” sent from men to unsuspecting recipients. While increasingly common, this phenomenon leaves many people puzzled or even disturbed, wondering about its motivations. Let's look at some of the underlying factors that might explain why some men feel compelled to send these unsolicited images. 1. Misguided Notions of Attraction One reason could be that some men mistakenly believe that sending an explicit image will be seen as confident or desirable. They may assume that this display of boldness could lead to admiration or reciprocation. However, this is often a misreading of attraction; studies show that these photos are rarely received positively unless a mutual interest exists. 2. Validation and Self-Esteem Boost Some individuals seek validation through explicit images. By sending a photo and possibly getting a response, they experience a sense of validation or acceptance, which is often short-lived. Those who seek validation in this way may often struggle with self-esteem issues, viewing these interactions as a means to feel attractive or valued. 3. Influence of Pornography and Pop Culture The depiction of bold or overt sexual acts in popular media, coupled with the influence of certain types of pornography, can lead some people to believe that unsolicited images are normal or even appealing. Exposure to these mediums can blur the boundaries between fantasy and real-life interactions, leading individuals to mimic behavior they’ve observed in fictional scenarios. 4. Thrill of Risky Behavior For some, the idea of sending a forbidden or provocative image is undeniably thrilling. This thrill often stems from the allure of risk-taking and crossing boundaries, which can be appealing in small doses. Psychologists call this behavior “sensation-seeking,” where individuals pursue new and intense experiences even if they lead to negative consequences. 5. Lack of Empathy or Social Awareness Sometimes, a lack of social awareness or empathy can lead men to send photos without considering how they will be received. When someone has limited empathy or disregards boundaries, they may fail to consider the discomfort or disrespect such images can cause. Sometimes, this stems from a general inability to recognize appropriate social cues or a lack of experience with meaningful interactions. 6. Power Dynamics and Control Sending unsolicited photos can be a form of asserting control. For some individuals, it’s not about the photo itself but rather the power of forcing someone else to confront it. This can be a way of asserting dominance or, in extreme cases, a tactic of harassment. While not representative of all cases, power dynamics can play a role in unsolicited images. 7. Communication Gaps and Poor Digital Etiquette Some men may have poor digital etiquette and fail to recognize boundaries in online communication. With the rise of dating apps and virtual interactions, traditional norms are sometimes lost in translation. Men not fully aware of online etiquette may assume that sending photos is another means of self-expression or flirtation. Moving Towards Better Understanding and Behavior Clearly, the motivations behind sending unsolicited photos are complex and vary from one individual to the next. Understanding the potential reasons doesn’t make the behavior acceptable, but it can shed light on ways to address the issue: Education and Awareness:  Promoting digital etiquette and respectful online communication can help diminish unwanted behavior. Encouraging Empathy:  Empathy plays a significant role in how we interact. Helping people understand the impact of their actions on others can prevent harmful behaviors. Social Accountability:  Normalizing boundaries in virtual communication can create a safer, more respectful online environment. Calling out harmful actions while encouraging positive interaction is crucial in this shift. In the end, respecting offline and online boundaries is key to meaningful interactions and a positive digital culture. A world where people engage with each other authentically and with consideration for others' comfort will always be more fulfilling. Unless we are engaged in some conversation, there is a time and place for "sharing" Does anyone else have a library of rando pictures? Erin

  • When Divorce Meets a Wedding Anniversary: Reflections on Growth, Love, and Change

    October 21, It’s that time of year again—my wedding anniversary. A date that once symbolized love, commitment, and forever. But as I sit down to reflect, my life looks very different from what I imagined it would when I first said, “I do.” I’m no longer in that marriage. I’m divorced, and yet, this day remains significant to me. Divorce and wedding anniversaries might seem like contradictions. On the surface, they represent the beginning and the end of a chapter in one’s life. However, as I’ve learned, life is full of contradictions that can coexist, and this is one of them. The Wedding Anniversary: A Time for Reflection: Wedding anniversaries, even post-divorce, still hold meaning. They are more than just reminders of what once was. They are reflections of who I was, who I’ve become, and how the relationship helped shape me. When I think back to the day I walked down the aisle, I can’t help but remember the love and hope I felt, the promises made, and the joy shared. That love was real. And for a time, so were the dreams. But as time passed, life happened—people changed, circumstances shifted, and what once was clear began to blur. We made the difficult decision to part ways, not out of hatred or bitterness, but because growth took us in different directions. Divorce: A Different Kind of Growth: Divorce can feel like failure. At first, it was hard not to see it that way. But over time, I realized that divorce doesn’t invalidate the love that once existed. It doesn’t erase the good times or the lessons learned. It can be a moment of profound growth and self-discovery. I’m proud of the strength I found during that process—the courage to be honest with myself and my partner, to choose happiness over fear, and to rebuild my life in a way that felt authentic to who I had become. Divorce taught me resilience. It gave me the space to learn about who I am on my own and what I truly want from life and relationships. Honoring the Past While Embracing the Future: So, how do I feel on my wedding anniversary now? I honor it, but I don’t cling to it. Instead of viewing the day with sadness or regret, I see it as a marker of growth—both personal and within the relationship. It’s a moment to appreciate what was, acknowledge what no longer is, and be thankful for where I am now. This day is a reminder of love’s complexity. I believe that love doesn’t always follow the path we expect. It’s messy and unpredictable, and sometimes, it requires us to let go. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worthwhile. A New Kind of Celebration: Nowadays, my wedding anniversary has taken on a new meaning. It’s a day to celebrate my resilience, my growth, and the new paths I’ve taken. And I celebrate the love I have for myself—the kind that grows out of the ashes of heartbreak and loss. So, if you find yourself facing a wedding anniversary post-divorce, don’t feel like you have to ignore it. Don’t feel ashamed if it brings up memories or emotions. Instead, use it as a moment of reflection, growth, and, ultimately, self-compassion. Because in the end, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Here’s to anniversaries, love in all its forms, and the journey of becoming who we are meant to be. Cheers, Erin xoxo

  • The Comedies of Divorce: Finding Humor in Heartache

    Divorce is often portrayed as an unhappy and emotionally draining process, filled with tension, heartache, and endless paperwork. But beyond the tears and lawyer meetings, there’s another side to this life-altering experience: the comedy. It may seem counterintuitive initially, but divorce has been a fertile ground for humor in TV, film, and real life. From awkward new beginnings to hilarious miscommunications, the comedies of divorce reveal that sometimes, laughter is the best remedy. The Unexpected Humor of Divorce: Divorce itself isn’t funny—at least not in the moment. But step back, and you’ll notice that the absurdity of it all can be downright hilarious. Think about it: two people who once shared a deep love are now haggling over who gets to keep the espresso machine or splitting a dog’s visitation rights. It’s surreal, and there’s room for humor in that surrealism. Divorce comedies tap into this awkward, uncomfortable truth that life can still be funny, even in its darkest moments. Some of the most memorable stories about divorce are the ones that highlight the ridiculousness of it all without losing sight of the genuine emotions involved. Divorce on the Big Screen : Hollywood has long known that when handled with a light touch, divorce makes for great entertainment. From the quick-witted battles in *The War of the Roses* to the modern-day laugh-fest of *Marriage Story* (yes, it’s funnier than you might think), films about divorce balance heartbreak with humor. Take *The First Wives Club*, where three women band together after being left for younger partners. What could have been a depressing tale of betrayal becomes a comedy about empowerment, revenge, and friendship. The characters don’t sit in their sorrow for long—they use humor to fight back and reclaim their lives. Another classic is Mrs. Doubtfire, in which Robin Williams’ character, desperate to spend time with his kids after a messy separation, dresses as an elderly British nanny. The concept is funny, but the humor stems from the character’s earnest, if misguided, attempts to navigate his new role as a single father. The comedy is rooted in his vulnerability, which makes the film both heartwarming and laugh-out-loud funny. TV Shows Nailing Divorce Comedy: Television has also embraced the humor of divorce. In shows like *Divorce*, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, and *The New Adventures of Old Christine*, awkward post-divorce life is portrayed with brutal honesty—and plenty of laughs. *Divorce* shows how messy and cringe-worthy starting over can be. Still, the humor emerges from relatable situations: going on bad dates, navigating relationships with your ex, and trying to co-parent. Similarly, *The New Adventures of Old Christine* explores Christine’s attempts to juggle life as a divorced mom while watching her ex-husband move on with someone new. Both shows succeed because they don’t shy away from awkwardness but dive right into it. Real-Life Divorce Humor: It’s not just on-screen where we find humor in divorce. In real life, many people turn to comedy as a coping mechanism. Whether it’s joking about splitting the Netflix account or creating memes about alimony payments, there’s something cathartic about laughing through the pain. Humor helps defuse tension and reminds us that joy and laughter are still possible, even in the darkest times. It’s why so many people crack jokes at the most unexpected moments, even when they’re in the middle of a breakup. Why We Need Divorce Comedies: At its core, divorce comedy shows us that life doesn’t end after a split—it evolves. These stories remind us that it’s okay to laugh at ourselves, even when things aren’t going according to plan. Humor allows us to process the messiness, the awkwardness, and the downright bizarre situations that arise during a divorce. The comedies about divorce offer hope. They remind us that even when a relationship ends, there’s room for growth, reinvention, and laughter. So, if you ever find yourself amid a breakup, remember that one day, you might just look back and laugh at how ridiculous it was. After all, as the old saying goes, “Comedy is tragedy plus time.” So, between the tears, find a bit of laughter. xoxo Erin What’s your favorite comedy about divorce? Whether it’s a film, a TV show, or a real-life moment that made you laugh during a tough time, share your thoughts in the comments below! Mine: New Comedy Show by: https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/ali-wong-single-lady-stand-up

  • When Your Ex Keeps Bringing Up the Past: What to Say and How to Handle It

    Breakups are rarely straightforward; sometimes, even after you’ve moved on, your ex might not be ready to let go of the past. It can be frustrating and emotionally draining when an ex continues to bring up old issues, especially if they constantly want to revisit the “why” of the breakup. Whether out of anger, guilt, or lingering feelings, their need to rehash the past can keep you trapped in a cycle you’re ready to leave behind.   Here’s how to navigate these conversations gracefully and protect your peace of mind.   Try and Understand Where They’re Coming From : Before diving into a response, it’s essential to recognize that your ex is likely struggling with unresolved emotions. Whether it’s seeking closure, clarity, or validation, their constant revisiting of past issues might be a sign they’re still processing the breakup.   It doesn’t mean you must continually engage in these conversations. Understanding their perspective doesn’t require sacrificing your emotional well-being.   Set Clear Boundaries:  If your ex frequently brings up the past, setting boundaries is crucial. Be firm but compassionate when you express your limits. Here’s an example of what to say:   What to Say:   “I understand that you have questions or feelings about what happened between us, but I’ve already given you my thoughts, and I don’t think rehashing it over and over will help either of us move forward. I need us to respect the past for what it was and focus on moving on.”   Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting them down or dismissing their feelings—it’s about preserving your mental health and preventing a cycle of negativity from continuing.   Acknowledge, But Don’t Get Pulled In: If you feel obligated to respond, acknowledge their feelings briefly without giving a long explanation. Giving a short, direct response lets them know you’ve heard them but also signals that you won’t engage in further back-and-forth.   What to Say:   “I hear you’re still upset about what happened, and I understand why. But at this point, I don’t think revisiting it will change anything. We’ve grown since then, and it’s time to focus on healing and moving forward.”   This response is empathetic but firm, preventing the conversation from spiraling into another lengthy debate about the past.   Don’t Justify or Argue:  When someone is fixated on the “why” of a breakup, it’s tempting to start defending yourself or justifying your past actions. However, doing so often leads to more arguments, not resolution. Instead of engaging in a debate, focus on asserting that the past is behind you.   What to Say:   “I’ve already explained my side and won’t keep defending it. We’ve both had time to reflect on what happened, and it’s not productive to keep going over it.”   Keep your tone calm and neutral, even if they become defensive or upset. Remember, you’re not responsible for how they react—you’re only responsible for maintaining your peace.   Redirect the Conversation : If your ex continues to drill you into the past, gently redirect the conversation toward the present or future. Please encourage them to focus on healing rather than dwelling on old wounds.   What to Say:   “I know you have lingering questions, but instead of focusing on the past, I think it would be better for us to focus on where we go from here. Let’s both take the time to heal and find closure in our ways.”   This response shows that you’re not ignoring their feelings, but you’re also not going to indulge in a conversation that will likely lead nowhere.   Know When to End the Conversation : Sometimes, the conversation may become repetitive or toxic despite your best efforts. Knowing when to leave the conversation is essential if your ex refuses to respect your boundaries and continues to rehash the past.   What to Say:   “I don’t think this conversation is helping either of us. I’ve said everything I need to say, and I think it’s best if we stop discussing the past and focus on moving forward separately.”   If necessary, consider limiting contact with your ex altogether, especially if the conversations are emotionally draining. It’s perfectly okay to prioritize your well-being and distance yourself from situations that reopen old wounds.   Focus on Your Healing : Remember your priority is your growth and healing. Dealing with an ex who constantly brings up the past can reopen emotional wounds, but it’s essential to remain focused on your journey forward. Every time you engage in these conversations, ask yourself: Is this conversation helping me move forward, or is it pulling me back?   It can be challenging when an ex repeatedly brings up the past, but you don’t have to stay stuck in that cycle. By setting boundaries, staying calm, and refusing to engage in constant rehashing, you take control of the narrative and protect your emotional well-being. Remember, you’re not responsible for their closure—you’re responsible for your peace.   Letting go isn’t always easy, but both need to heal and move on.   You have the inner strength to do it, and you believe in yourself. You are what is most important.   Xoxo Erin

  • Finding Love Beyond the Apps: Rediscovering Connection After Divorce

    Divorce can feel like an emotional roller coaster, especially when it comes to the idea of finding love again. For many, the instinct is to dive into dating apps, seeking quick connections to move forward. But what if there’s another way? For those weary of swiping and craving more profound, more organic connections, life beyond the apps might be precisely what you need. Why Step Away from the Apps? After a divorce, it’s natural to want companionship. Dating apps, with their instant gratification, can seem like the easiest path. However, the rush of superficial matches and endless messaging can leave you feeling disconnected, frustrated, or even more isolated than before. If you’re hoping for a meaningful relationship, stepping away from the app culture and engaging in more intentional, real-life experiences might be a game-changer. Here’s why: 1. Authenticity in Everyday Life: There’s no pressure to curate the perfect profile or perform behind a screen in real-life interactions. You get to be yourself, flaws and all, and so does the other person. You might meet someone who catches your eye at a coffee shop, through mutual friends, or during a shared hobby. These encounters are natural, unfiltered, and spontaneous. 2. Emotional Readiness: The end of a marriage can leave emotional scars, and jumping back into dating too quickly might not give you the time to heal. Meeting people organically gives you space to focus on yourself first. As you pursue hobbies and passions or rediscover who you are, you’ll likely find someone who aligns with your growth. 3. Creating Meaningful Connections: Rather than rushing through multiple conversations, meeting someone in person lets you connect genuinely. The energy, chemistry, and body language in face-to-face interactions offer a richer experience than app-based chats. Plus, meeting someone through mutual interests or shared experiences means you’re likely to connect on a deeper level from the start. How to Meet Someone Outside of Dating Apps Stepping away from dating apps doesn’t mean sitting around waiting for love to find you. It’s about being open to connection and placing yourself in environments where you can meet new people naturally. 1. Join Local Clubs or Classes: Whether it’s a book club, art class, or fitness group, pursuing something you love will help you meet like-minded people. Plus, it takes the pressure off dating and allows friendships to develop naturally. 2. Volunteer for a Cause You Care About: Volunteering makes a positive impact and introduces you to people who share your values. Working with someone to improve your community can spark meaningful connections. 3. Reconnect with Friends and Expand Your Social Circle: Spending time with friends you trust can also lead to meeting new people. Let your friends know you’re open to dating again—they might know someone who would be a great match. 4. Attend Events or Workshops: Networking events, conferences, or community festivals are perfect opportunities to meet people outside your usual circles. These events allow you to bond over shared interests in a casual setting. Embrace the Journey, Not Just the Destination Life after divorce is more than finding love again—it’s about rediscovering who you are. Dating apps may feel like a quick fix, but by stepping away and allowing love to develop naturally, you can build stronger, more authentic relationships. Whether you meet someone in a yoga class while hiking a local trail or through a volunteer organization, the magic of real-life connection is undeniable. It’s not about avoiding technology but creating space for genuine encounters that could lead to something extraordinary. Love after divorce isn’t about rushing to replace what you’ve lost. It’s about creating something new, something real, and something that fits who you are today. So, take your time, stay open to new possibilities, and trust that love can be found when—and where—you least expect it. Try it! I know I need to explore; I am exhausted from swiping from the right to the left. Good Luck, Erin

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