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A strange myth floats around in our culture—that one day we will arrive.  Arrive at healing.  Arrive at closure.  Arrive at self-love.   Arrive at the version of ourselves that has it all figured out. However, divorce has taught me one thing: we are always and may always be works in progress. And that’s not only okay — it’s beautiful. When I first became a divorcee, I thought there would be a moment when I would cross some imaginary finish line. After the paperwork was signed, the heartbreak cried out for months and months, and the dating apps downloaded, I would wake up one morning and feel… done. Healed. Whole. Spoiler alert: that moment never came, and I’m not sure it ever will. Instead, life unfolds in chapters — some messy, some magical. When I think I’ve mastered one lesson, another sneaks up to humble me. I’ve learned that healing isn’t linear, growth isn’t one-size-fits-all, and becoming your best self is a lifelong dance, not a single destination. You will discover that embracing this truth is powerful if you practice and practice. Sometimes, accepting the reality of your journey is exactly what you need. When we allow ourselves to be works in progress, we give ourselves permission to: ·      Try new things (and fail) ·      Change our minds ·      Outgrow relationships ·      Learn new ways to love ·      Forgive ourselves for not knowing better sooner ·      Keep rewriting the story of who we are It shows we will always be learning and reminding ourselves it’s completely alright to be you. Not one person on this earth is PERFECT. Why would they be, if they think or say they are? Please run the other way.   Post-divorce life can carry immense pressure to “get it right,” which can be exhausting. We must find a new relationship, achieve Insta-worthy single-mom or single-dad success, and prove we are thriving. But here’s your gentle reminder today: progress matters more than perfection. Whether you’re inching toward inner peace or taking bold leaps toward new dreams, every small step counts. You don’t need to be anyone’s version of “healed.” You don’t need to arrive. You only need to keep becoming. Divorcee Dish readers, wherever you are on your post-divorce journey, take a deep breath and release the pressure to be “done.” You are evolving. You are growing. You can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, all at once. And I’ll be here — a fellow in progress —cheering all on. Xoxo Erin

Divorce has a funny way of shaking up everything we thought we knew—not just about marriage, but about relationships, identity, and even love itself. Many of us come out of a divorce with a clearer sense of who we are. We also start to notice the stories we’ve absorbed over the years—about what love should look like, who it should be with, and how it should fit into the neat little boxes society tends to prefer. But here’s the simple, powerful truth we learn when we let all of that go: Love is love. It knows no race, religion, gender, orientation, or borders. Love is a Human Right At its core, love is the most natural and human of experiences. It is something every person deserves—and is capable of giving and receiving—without judgment or limitation. Yet, for far too long, too many of us have been taught to filter love through the lens of what is “acceptable.” Family, culture, religion, or media might shape that lens. We’re told that certain relationships are better or more valid than others, that love only counts if it fits a specific mold. But this is simply not true. As many of us find in our post-divorce lives, true love often comes from the most unexpected places—sometimes places we were told to avoid or fear. The Beauty of Differences I’ve heard countless stories from fellow divorcees: Falling in love with someone of a different race, despite being raised in an environment where interracial relationships were discouraged. Finding a connection with a partner from a different religious tradition, creating a beautiful blend of beliefs, rituals, and respect. Realizing, after years of marriage to someone of the opposite gender, that your heart is drawn to someone of the same sex. Building a life with a partner whose gender identity or orientation challenges what you thought was possible. These stories aren’t exceptions. They’re reminders that love thrives when we open ourselves to another person's full humanity, not the labels they wear. Reclaiming the Right to Love After divorce, we often feel empowered to rebuild life on our  terms. But reclaiming love—entirely and without apology—is one of the most critical pieces of that rebuilding process. Too often, people hold back from pursuing love across race, religion, or orientation because of fear: What will my family say? Will my friends accept this? Will my kids understand? Will society judge us? Here’s what matters most: Does this love bring you joy, peace, and growth? Does it honor who you are and who you want to become? Does it encourage you to love yourself and your partner fully? If the answer is yes, the rest is noise. The Work of Unlearning For those of us raised in environments where certain types of love were seen as “wrong” or “less than,” it takes time to unlearn these biases. But this is part of the critical work we can do for ourselves and the world we want to help shape for our children and communities. Unlearning means: Listening to and learning from those who have lived in the margins of love Acknowledging our own biases and doing the work to dismantle them Speaking up when we see love being judged or diminished Modeling for others that love is a human right, not a privilege for only some Love Is Courage Choosing love—real, expansive, inclusive love—is an act of courage and defiance in a world that still clings to old, harmful ideas about who should be allowed to love whom. But more than that, it is an act of hope. Every time we choose love that transcends boundaries, we create space for others to do the same. We model what is possible. We remind the world that the heart is the best guide we have—and it cannot be contained by fear, prejudice, or outdated norms. So, Divorcee Dish readers—whether you are newly divorced, exploring love again, or still healing—carry this truth with you: Love is love— no matter your skin color, no matter your religion, n o matter your gender or orientation. You deserve a love that sees and honors your full humanity. And you deserve to give that same love in return. The more we embrace this truth, the more we create a world where everyone can love freely, without shame or judgment. And in that world? There is more joy, connection, belonging, and hope for us all. Embrace it and let yourself feel it!

We all may or may not have had TRUE LOVE in our worlds. We hear about it in movies, read it in books, and daydream over coffee or cocktails with friends. But when it comes down to it, what is true love ? Is it butterflies? Fireworks? That “can’t eat, can’t sleep” kind of passion that sweeps you off your feet? Maybe. But if you’ve been through heartbreak (and let’s be honest, if you’re here, you probably have), you start to see that true love isn’t always wrapped in grand gestures or perfect Instagram posts. It’s something much deeper. Something real. This song truly defines the essence of #TrueLove / P!nk 2012 True Love is… Comfortable True love doesn’t always feel like a rollercoaster—it feels like home. It’s the calm after the storm. It’s knowing someone sees you exactly as you are—flaws, fears, quirks, and all—and stays. True love doesn’t need to impress you. It just is . True Love is… Choosing Every Day Forget the fairy tales that end at “happily ever after.” Real love isn’t just something you fall into; it’s something you choose repeatedly. Even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard, true love is staying when it’s easier to walk away, showing up when it’s uncomfortable, and working through the messy stuff together. True Love is… Respectful It’s not about control, games, or manipulation. It’s about honoring each other’s boundaries, listening deeply, and making space for growth. True love doesn’t demand you shrink. It celebrates your evolution. True Love is… Safe It’s not constant anxiety. It’s not checking your phone 50 times wondering if they’ll text back. It’s not walking on eggshells. It’s a safe harbor. True love feels like trust. It feels like, “I’ve got you”—and knowing they mean it. True Love is… Two Whole People It’s not “you complete me.” You’re already whole. True love is two complete individuals who want  to walk through life together, not because they need to, but because they genuinely choose  to. After divorce, we often question everything we thought we knew about love. That’s okay. It’s normal. Divorce is a hard reset, allowing you to redefine what love means for you . So, what is true love? Maybe it’s not something you find. Perhaps it’s something you build. Slowly. Honestly. Imperfectly. And maybe, just maybe, it starts with the most essential kind of love of all: the one you give to yourself. xo Erin

Some memories arrive like old friends—you welcome them with a smile, sit with them for a while, and let them remind you of who you used to be. Others barge in like uninvited guests, dragging heartache, guilt, and the ghost of your former self right into the room. Welcome to the beautiful, complicated mess of life after divorce. If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake at night replaying a highlight reel of your past, wondering which memories are worth holding onto and which ones need to be let go, you’re not alone. Healing isn't just about therapy, time, or Tinder swipes. Sometimes, it's about memory management: finally knowing what to carry with you and what to leave behind. Memories to Cherish Not every part of your marriage was a disaster. If it were, you never would have stayed as long as you did. There were moments—real, meaningful moments—worth holding onto. The inside jokes. The silly ones no one else would understand. The way you’d laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe. The moments when you felt like a team. The family milestones. First homes. First steps. First holidays together. Even if the person you shared them with is no longer in your life, those memories still belong to you. You were there. You showed up. You loved. The lessons. Maybe it wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but look at you now. Wiser. Braver. Clearer. The pain taught you something important—about your boundaries, resilience, and worth. The versions of yourself you discovered. Maybe you learned how to cook because your ex never did. Perhaps you found your voice in the arguments. Maybe you became a mother, a caretaker, a fighter. Those memories shaped you, and they deserve your gratitude. Cherishing doesn’t mean living in the past. It means choosing to see the beauty in what was, even if it didn’t last. Memories to Forget And then there are the memories that don’t deserve space in your mind or your heart anymore. The ones that trigger anxiety, self-doubt, or shame. The ones that replay in your head like a broken record, convincing you that you failed or weren’t enough. Let’s be clear: You did not fail. The relationship did. And that’s not the same thing. Forget the gaslighting. The manipulation. The moments you were made to feel small. Forget the fights where you stayed silent to keep the peace. Forget the holidays you hosted with a fake smile, while feeling invisible in your home. Forget the years you lost trying to fix something you didn’t break alone. You’re not erasing the past—you’re choosing peace over pain. You don’t owe anyone the burden of carrying their bad behavior around in your head forever. Memories That Live In The Grey Some memories refuse to be boxed up in the “good” or “bad” categories. They’re complicated. Messy. Bittersweet. Maybe it’s how your ex held your hand when you were scared. Maybe it’s the memory of giving birth with them by your side. Perhaps it’s the night they made you feel like the only person in the world, followed by a season where they made you feel like the last. Those memories? Let them be what they are. You don’t have to label them. Just acknowledge them and keep walking forward. You don’t have to honor every memory to heal. You don’t have to hate your past to grow. And you don’t have to forget everything to move on. But you do have the power to choose what stays and what goes. Let the memories that feed your soul take up space. Let the ones that starve your spirit fade. And when you find yourself in a new moment—a good one, a joyful one—pause. Breathe it in. Let that become your new memory to cherish. Much love from our team, Erin

Recently, while clicking through Hulu to find something to watch, I came upon a show titled: "Hey Beautiful: Anatomy of a Romance Scam": https://www.hulu.com/series/f723d592-657b-4b9a-b2c7-763186df033c This made me think, "Wow, I know this happens." However, it's a topic that comes up so much that I thought it would be good to give the Divorcee Dish crowd some information. It is becoming familiar to the people who fall and those who may have their identity stolen. From dating apps and LinkedIn to WhatsApp and random Instagram DMs, the modern scammer knows how to play the game—and unfortunately, many of us are playing it without knowing the rules. If you’ve ever been sweet-talked, love-bombed, or emotionally manipulated into opening your heart and  your wallet, you’re not alone. Welcome to the darker side of digital dating and networking—where fake profiles, smooth talkers, and crypto “experts” are out to make your broken heart their payday. The Scam Setup: A Perfect Profile & Too-Good-to-Be-True Vibes: Whether the handsome man in uniform on Bumble, the successful investor on LinkedIn, or the charming stranger who finds your "energy" captivating on WhatsApp, they all start the same way: a fast emotional connection. Compliments come fast, good mornings turn into good nights, and suddenly you’re in a relationship … with someone you’ve never met. The Red Flags You Ignored (Because You Wanted to Believe): Let’s be honest: we’re hopeful creatures. After a divorce or heartbreak, we want to believe in new beginnings. But scammers know this, and they use it against us. Some red flags to look out for: They “travel for work” and can’t video chat. They’re always  out of the country. They claim you’re their soulmate within days. They talk about needing help with “temporary financial setbacks.” They introduce investment opportunities (usually crypto or forex). They guilt-trip you if you hesitate to help. Sound familiar? Yeah, same. The Ask: Money, Crypto, Gift Cards, or "Just a Loan": At first, it seems small: $50 for a phone bill, $200 to help with a delayed flight, maybe a crypto "investment" that will "change your life." But it grows. And if you’ve already fallen for their story? It’s easy to justify helping someone you think  you love. Before you know it, you’re out hundreds—or thousands—and they’ve vanished. LinkedIn & WhatsApp Scams: The New Frontier: Think it’s just Tinder? Think again. Scammers are getting creative. On LinkedIn, it might start as a “networking opportunity” with someone who wants to help grow your business or teach you to invest. On WhatsApp, it might be a “wrong number” that turns into flirting, then a relationship. The methods change, but the goal is always the same: get your trust and your money. The Aftermath: Shame, Anger, and a Whole Lot of Lessons: Once you realize it was a scam, the emotional fallout hits harder than the financial loss. There’s shame in being tricked, anger at yourself, and disbelief that someone could be so cruel. But here’s the truth: this wasn’t your fault.  These scammers are trained manipulators who prey on kindness, trust, and loneliness. What You Can Do Next Report the scammer  on the platform immediately. Block and delete  all contacts. File a complaint  with the FTC or your local cybercrime unit. Talk about it.  The more we share, the less power they have. Forgive yourself.  You were seeking connection, not deception. Protect Yourself Going Forward Never send money or share banking info with someone you haven’t met. Reverse image search profile photos. Set boundaries early and trust your gut. If they’re “perfect,” too smooth, or fall in love in a week? Run. At Divorcee Dish, we believe in second chances, new beginnings, and loving smarter, not just harder. Getting scammed doesn’t make you naïve. It makes you human. And guess what? You can bounce back. Stronger. Wiser. And maybe just a little sassier.

Because staying for the wrong reasons is never the right decision. We’ve all heard the advice: “Relationships take work.” And yes, that’s true— healthy  relationships do take effort. But there’s a difference between investing in a connection and constantly trying to revive something already flatlined. It might be time to face the truth if you find yourself more drained than delighted. Here are eight signs it might be time to call it —whether you’re married, dating, or entangled in a “situationship” that’s going nowhere fast. 1. You feel lonelier with them than without them. Loneliness in a relationship is one of the loudest red flags. If you’re craving emotional connection and your partner doesn’t show up—emotionally, physically, or even conversationally—you might already be doing life solo. 2. You’ve become someone you don’t recognize. Relationships should bring out your best, not bury it. If you’ve lost your sparkle, silenced your voice, or are constantly adjusting who you are to keep the peace, it's time to reassess. 3. Every conversation feels like a landmine. Fighting is normal. Walking on eggshells is not. If even the smallest conversations turn into a battle or you're constantly bracing for an explosion, you’re not in a partnership—you’re in survival mode. 4. The future feels foggy or frightening. When you think about spending five more years (or even five more months) with this person, do you feel dread instead of excitement? Your gut might already know what your heart is afraid to admit. 5. You’ve done the work… alone. Therapy. Books. Late-night journaling. Heart-to-hearts. If you’ve bent over backwards to grow or change and your partner is still in denial, you’re not in a relationship—you’re in a one-woman show. 6. Trust is broken and not rebuilding. Cheating, lies, secrets—trust can be repaired, but only when both people are fully invested. If betrayal happens and there’s no real effort to rebuild the foundation, the structure won’t stand. 7. You’re constantly justifying the relationship to others. When your friends or family express concern, your response always starts with “Yeah, but…”—pause. You may already know it’s not working if you're constantly defending the indefensible. 8. Peace feels like freedom. If being alone brings relief instead of fear, listen to that feeling. Peace is your soul's saying, “We’re ready.” Here’s the truth:  Letting go isn’t giving up—it’s leveling up. It’s choosing yourself, your peace, and your future. You don’t have to stay stuck in something that no longer serves your growth, joy, or sanity. Calling it isn’t weak. It’s brave. And you, dear divorcee, are stronger than you think. xoxo Erin

Breakups suck. Divorce can feel like a war zone. But if there’s one thing that can help make sense of the chaos, it's music. Whether you're crying into your wine glass, burning your ex’s hoodie, or strutting into your glow-up era, there’s a breakup anthem out there that gets you. We’ve rounded up the best new  songs about divorce, heartbreak, and starting over that belong on your post-breakup playlist. Warning: some of these will have you in your feels, while others will have you belting into a hairbrush like Beyoncé on judgment day. 💔 For the Cry-It-Out Crowd 1. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” – Olivia Rodrigo. A Gen Z dagger through the heart. This theatrical breakup ballad feels like a Broadway takedown for anyone who's ever loved a narcissist. (Looking at you, Chad.) 2. “Love Is Embarrassing” – Olivia Rodrigo. Yes, she's on here twice. Because if anyone captures the chaos of young heartbreak with savage poetry, it's Olivia. This one’s for those post-divorce moments where you look back and think, “Wow. I really lost sleep over that?” 3. “The Blue” – Noah Kahan. Folk-soul meets emotional unraveling. Noah captures the beauty and grief of a love slipping away — perfect for the early stages of letting go. 🔥 For the Angry-but-Healing Stage 4. “Used To Be Young” – Miley Cyrus. Not a diss track — more like a grown-up reckoning with who you were, who you loved, and who you’re becoming. Ideal for post-divorce reflection with zero regret. 5. “Strangers” – Lewis Capaldi. That voice? Devastating. This song hits hard if you’re co-parenting or running into your ex at Trader Joe’s and realizing they now feel like a total stranger. 6. “Vampire” – Olivia Rodrigo. Okay fine, three times. But can you blame us? This is the  breakup song of the year if you’ve been emotionally drained by someone who sucked you dry (financially, emotionally, or both). 👑 For the Empowerment Era 7. “Single Soon”—Selena Gomez. Play this while you delete his number and schedule your Botox. It’s flirty, unapologetic, and all about reclaiming your time and identity. Divorce never sounded so fun. 8. “Rebound” – Fletcher Fletcher gives us breakup gold; this track is no exception. It’s all about healing with full awareness that you’re not quite healed yet — and owning it anyway. 9. “Flowers” – Miley Cyrus. Yes, we know you’ve heard it. But it still deserves a spot here. Because buying yourself flowers and  holding your hand? That’s the energy we’re bringing into every post-divorce chapter. 🥂 Bonus Track: For the Moment You Realize You’re Finally Free 10. “Let Go” – Morgan Wade. Country grit with real divorce soul. This one’s for those final days of the split when your papers are signed, your spirit is lifting, and you can finally breathe again. There’s no one way to heal from a breakup or divorce — but the right soundtrack can help you cry it out, rage it out, dance it out, or feel less alone. Add these tracks to your playlist, blast them in the car, and remember: this chapter is yours to write. And it comes with a killer soundtrack. What are your  go-to breakup songs? DM us or drop them in the comments—we’re always updating our heartbreak-healing rotation.

Modern dating (and even post-divorce co-parenting) often hinges on one tiny, glowing device: our phones. Texting has become the default form of communication for everything from “good morning” to “I’m running late” to, unfortunately, ghosting, breadcrumbing, and full-blown avoidance. But why is it that some full-grown adults—divorced or not—communicate like 8-year-olds with a secret phone under their desk? You know the ones: they can scroll TikTok for three hours but can’t seem to muster a 5-second reply to “Are we still on for Saturday?” Here’s why this behavior is more than just annoying—it’s emotional immaturity in digital form. ' First off, They Don’t Know How to Handle Conflict Like Adults: Some adults never learned how to sit in discomfort. Instead of saying, “Hey, I’m not feeling this anymore,” they vanish into the iMessage abyss. That might’ve worked in middle school, but grown folks? We deserve closure, not confusion. Secondly, They Think Ignoring You Is “Polite.”: Believe it or not, some people think not responding is kinder than saying “no thanks” or “I need space.” Newsflash: silence is not kind—it’s dismissive. You’re not protecting anyone’s feelings by ghosting them. You’re just avoiding accountability. Thirdly, They Want Control Without Commitment: Some people feel that not texting you back is a powerful move. It keeps them in control of the interaction. Maybe they’ll reach out when they want attention or feel lonely—but until then, radio silence. Sound familiar? That’s not interesting; it’s manipulation. Fourth: They Treat Phones Like Toys, Not Tools: Some people use texting the way an 8-year-old plays with a new toy—fun when it’s exciting, dropped when it’s boring. It gets ignored if it doesn’t serve their mood in the moment. But here’s the thing: relationships aren’t playthings. And texting isn’t a game. Finally, They Were Never Taught (or Never Chose) Digital Respect: Let’s be real—basic etiquette applies to texting, too. Just like you wouldn’t walk away mid-conversation in real life, you shouldn’t stop replying. But if someone never learned this or refuses to care, they’ll keep leaving you on read like it’s no big deal. Bottom line:  You’re not asking for too much when you expect timely, respectful communication. And you’re not “needy” or “too intense” for wanting clarity. If someone can’t even text like an adult, they probably can’t love like one either. So here’s your reminder: If they text you like a child, don’t waste time giving them any of your energy. It's exhausting and frankly "Let Them" - they may never learn, proper respect. Cheers, Erin

If you’re a single mom, you’ve likely been asked this sweet but slightly overwhelming question: “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” Cue the pause. The inner monologue says, “Where do I start? Sleep? Peace? A clone?”  But instead, you probably smile and say, “Oh, don’t worry about it!” But let’s change that. You deserve  to be celebrated—not just with flowers or cards, but with thought, intention, and love. Whether co-parenting or doing this thing solo, Mother’s Day can be a beautiful opportunity for connection, gratitude, and a little pampering. So, if your kids ask you what you want this year, here are some heartfelt, simple ideas to share—things that will fill your cup: Time Together That Feels Special: A walk in the park, a picnic in the backyard, movie night in PJs—whatever feels fun and low-pressure. It’s not about a big plan but quality moments where you’re all present, laughing, and just being together. Something Made from the Heart : Ask for a handmade card, poem, drawing, or video message. A “coupon book” filled with helpful offers (like one free dishwashing or “no whining for 24 hours”) can go a long way toward making you smile. Help Around the House—Without Being Asked : Even a small act—cleaning a room, folding the laundry, feeding the dog—can speak volumes. It’s the thoughtfulness in anticipating needs and demonstrating care that matters most. A Little Guilt-Free Alone Time : Sometimes, the best gift is space—a quiet coffee alone, a long bath, or the freedom to scroll Target aisles without being rushed. Let your kids know that honoring your “me time” is a form of love, too. Starting a New Tradition Together : Establish a unique Mother’s Day tradition that’s all yours. Enjoy pancakes in bed, plant flowers, or take a yearly selfie—anything that evolves into a cherished ritual to anticipate each year. A Day to Feel Celebrated and Seen : Whether it’s a “Queen for a Day” theme where the kids take care of dinner and tell you why they love you, or a surprise video of kind words, the idea is simple: let the day feel special. It’s not about extravagance, it’s about feeling appreciated. If you’re parenting alone this Mother’s Day, please know this: your efforts, strength, and love are not invisible. You are doing the work of two (sometimes more), and while the world may not always see it, your children and so do we. Express what you want to do, and you may need to guide them to make it happen. Remember to enjoy the moment. XOXO

Today is Children’s Mental Health Day —a powerful reminder that our children’s emotional well-being is as important as their physical health. As parents navigating divorce, co-parenting, or single parenthood, we understand all too well that transitions like these can stir up big feelings in little hearts. The truth is that divorce doesn’t just affect the adults; it echoes through our children’s lives in ways they may not always know how to express. That’s why it’s up to us to listen more closely, love more loudly, and create space for healing every step of the way. Here’s how we can support our children’s mental health today and every day: Start the conversation. Even if it feels awkward, open the door. Ask, “How are you feeling about everything lately?” Don’t rush to fix it — listen. That safe space might be precisely what they need. Normalize therapy. Kids don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from a counselor. Therapy can help them process emotions in a neutral setting and demonstrate that mental health matters.   Model emotional honesty. You don’t have to pretend everything is perfect. Share (age-appropriately) when feeling sad, stressed, or uncertain. It teaches them that emotions aren’t scary — they’re human. Watch for signs. Sleep, appetite, behavior, or school performance changes may indicate more than just a “phase.” Don’t ignore the red flags. Trust your instincts and seek support early. Keep their world steady. As much as possible, maintain routines and consistent boundaries in both households. Kids thrive on predictability, especially when the rest of life feels uncertain.   Give grace to them and yourself. We won’t always get it right. We’re learning, and they’re learning. What matters is that we keep showing up with love, patience, and open hearts.   Divorce can shake a child’s world, but with mindful, intentional parenting, it can also be a season of growth, resilience, and deeper connection. On this Children’s Mental Health Day, let’s commit to making their mental health a daily priority—not just for today but for a lifetime. You’re doing better than you think. And so are they.

You think you know someone, really  know them. After all, you loved them enough to build a life together, raise kids, maybe plan for forever. And even after things ended, perhaps you still held on to the belief that, deep down, your ex was a good human. Flawed, sure. But decent. Someone you could at least co-exist with. Then something shifts. It might be subtle at first—cold responses, passive-aggressive comments, small power plays. Or it might hit you like a brick wall: manipulation, blame, toxicity. Suddenly, you’re left wondering, Who IS this person?  And more hauntingly, were they always like this, and I didn’t see it? You're not alone in this disorienting realization. I’ve heard from so many of you—people who’ve come out of the other side of divorce and either found peace… or chaos. Some have created beautiful new dynamics with their exes, where holidays are shared, milestones celebrated, and mutual respect reigns—even with new significant others. That kind of healing is incredible, and it’s possible. But for others, that’s not the case. And for people like me, it was  peaceful—until it wasn’t. My divorce was amicable for years. We showed up for each other when it mattered, prioritized the kids, and found a rhythm. Then, one day, someone new entered the picture, and everything changed—not just the logistics or routines but my ex’s entire behavior. It was like I was suddenly dealing with a stranger wearing my ex’s face. It left me wondering: Was this always who he was? Was I wearing blinders the entire time? Accepting that someone you once loved can treat you like the enemy is brutal. It’s even harder when you feel like you're being erased or disrespected, all while trying to protect your children or maintain your sanity. So, let’s discuss how to deal with both sides of the coin because each scenario, whether respectful or chaotic, has its own emotional terrain. 💔 If Your Divorce Turned Toxic: Set firm boundaries.  Don’t fall into the trap of old dynamics or emotional manipulation. Clarity and consistency are your allies. Limit unnecessary contact.  Use communication tools like AppClose or OurFamilyWizard to keep conversations respectful and documented. Don’t expect closure.  Closure often comes from within, not from them. Accept that you may never get an apology or explanation, and focus on healing. Protect your peace.  Surround yourself with people who remind you of your worth. Therapy, journaling, or even just venting with a trusted friend can go a long way. Don’t engage with the new partner.  Resist the urge to match their energy if they’re toxic or fueling conflict. Your silence and grace are louder than anything they can say. 💫 If You’re One of the Lucky Ones: Celebrate it, but don’t take it for granted.   Good co-parenting relationships take effort. Keep checking in, respecting each other’s space, and putting the kids first. Create new traditions.  Shared birthdays or holiday brunches can show kids that love doesn’t have to end with a relationship. Respect new partners.  A peaceful post-divorce relationship doesn’t mean overstepping boundaries. It means co-existing with maturity and mutual respect. Communicate, don’t assume.  Even the best arrangements can be derailed by miscommunication. Stay open, honest, and flexible. Here’s something I always remind myself: Whatever happened between you and your ex during your marriage—that’s between the two of you. However, what happens after  the divorce should still be rooted in respect, especially if kids are involved. And if that respect doesn’t exist, don’t chase it. Please don’t beg for it. Don’t lose yourself trying to make someone else act like decent people. You are allowed to grieve not only the relationship, but the illusion of the person you thought they were. You are allowed to feel confused, disappointed, or even angry. And you're allowed to move forward with your head held high, knowing you did your best, even if they didn’t. Whether you’re co-parenting like a dream team or navigating emotional landmines, know this: You are not alone . There is no one-size-fits-all version of life after divorce. There is only your  version. And you get to shape it, step by step. We love you here at Divorcee Dish and will help you navigate. Cheers, Erin

If there's one event that perfectly mirrors the world of post-divorce dating, it's the Kentucky Derby . It’s fast-paced, full of surprises, and—let’s be honest—a little risky. Sound familiar? Whether you’re sipping a mint julep, donning a fabulous hat, or side-eyeing the cutie in the seersucker suit, Derby Day might be the perfect place to bet… on love. 💕 Love in the Winner’s Circle Let’s set the scene: You’re dressed to the nines, surrounded by the buzz of excitement, the thundering of hooves, and the scent of roses and bourbon in the air. There’s something about the Derby that makes everyone a little more flirtatious and hopeful. And yes, it’s possible to meet someone while waiting in line for a hot brown sandwich or arguing over who’s the better horse—because isn’t that just the new version of foreplay? For those of us who’ve weathered heartbreak and are stepping back into the world of love, the Derby offers a rare chance to feel exhilarated again. It’s not just about the horses—it’s about the magic in the moment. 🎩 Fun Derby Facts for Flirting & Impressing Throw these fun facts out there, and you'll look charming and  informed: The First Kentucky Derby  was held in 1875 —nearly 150 years of tradition and drama. The Mint Julep  is the signature drink. Over 120,000  are served during Derby weekend. If someone buys you one, that’s a Southern “I like you,” or drink enough, and you may say "I love you." The Garland of Roses  given to the winning horse has 554 red roses. And if someone gives you even one? Hold on to ‘em. The race only lasts about two minutes , making it “The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports.” (Which is also how we describe texting our ex by mistake.) Hats, hats, hats!  The bigger, the better. It’s not just a fashion statement—it’s a conversation starter. Don’t be afraid to flirt with someone over feathers and fascinators. 🐎 Betting on Yourself First At Divorcee Dish, we know the most significant win isn’t finding love—it’s loving yourself enough to keep showing up. The Derby reminds us that it’s okay to take chances. Some bets pay off. Some don’t. But that doesn’t mean you stop placing them. So this Derby season, whether at Churchill Downs or watching from home in your best floral dress and floppy hat, raise a glass to second chances. And if you do spot a silver fox in linen or a charming smile under a wide brim—go ahead, strike up a conversation. Because sometimes, love shows up when you least expect it—right after the bugle call, right before the horses take off, and just as your heart says, “Let’s try this one more time.” Have fun if you are celebrating!