Human Touch: The Need for Compassion and Passion

After divorce, it’s easy to focus on what’s been lost—partnership, routine, security, even identity. But there’s another subtle, aching void that often lingers quietly in the background: the absence of human touch.

Not just the physical kind, although that can be its lonely mountain to climb. I’m talking about the emotional, compassionate, soul-affirming type of touch. The kind that tells us we're seen. Heard. Cared for. That we matter—not as someone’s spouse or parent or ex—but just as a human being who still craves connection.

When a relationship ends, especially one rooted in years of shared space and intimacy, we can become wary of vulnerability. Guarded. We may put up walls under the guise of “healing,” telling ourselves we need time, solitude, independence. And yes, all of that is true. But even the strongest, most self-sufficient souls need tenderness. We need people. We need warmth. We need the soft stuff.

Here’s what I’ve learned post-divorce: You can be resilient and still want a hand to hold. You can love your alone time and still miss the comfort of a morning hug. You can be a fiercely independent divorcee… and still long for passion.

Compassion is often the first step. And ironically, it starts with offering it to yourself. Be gentle with your timeline. Stop apologizing for still missing them, or for not missing them at all. Let yourself cry. Let yourself laugh. Let yourself be messy, brilliant, and heart-open.

Passion for life. Passion for adventure. Passion for that spark that might light up again in someone’s eyes across the room. This doesn’t mean rushing into something or forcing chemistry. It means allowing yourself to feel again. Flirt a little. Daydream a little. Fall in love with the way someone makes you laugh—or how your skin tingles when they brush your hand.

You are not broken. You are beautifully human. And part of being human is the need and craving for connection. Real, raw, unfiltered connection.

So, if you’re reading this and feeling like you’ve lost the “human” in “human touch,” take this as your sign. Reconnect. Reach out. Let the armor fall, just a little.

Because on the other side of heartbreak, there’s still room for compassion. And passion. And everything in between.

Cheer to you on your journey!

Erin