Dating is a strange experience. It can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and even disappointing. But the most important thing to remember when dating someone new is knowing what you want from your relationship. If you are still determining what you want, how will anyone else? Here are some things to consider before settling into another partnership:
If you're trying to find out what kind of person you want, here are some things to think about:
Loyalty and honesty. Your next partner should be someone who has your back and won't betray your trust.
Shared values. You need a partner who shares some of the same values as you do--it's crucial to maintain a healthy relationship!
Faithfulness (or lack thereof).
Do they have an active sex life? Are they monogamous? Do they have a history of cheating on partners or being cheated on themselves? These questions can help determine whether someone suits you...or not!
What qualities do you look for in a man or woman?
Honest
Fun
Considerate
Kind
Intelligent and exciting to talk with, but not necessarily book smart (this is important).
Loyal to family and friends, but not necessarily loyal only to one person consistently.
You may be surprised to learn that most people are not emotionally available. They're often busy, stressed out, or just plain tired of being a grown-up. So, do you want someone to make time for you and listen without judging or criticizing? That's more challenging to find.
And then there's communication: good communicators tend to be good listeners, too--but again, this is only sometimes true! Some people love talking about themselves but aren't interested in hearing what anyone else has to say; they might even get defensive when someone tries telling them something important about themselves (as if they don't already know). And while some people are great at communicating their feelings openly and honestly...others might have trouble saying precisely what they're thinking or feeling because it makes them feel vulnerable (which is normal).
Do they need to have been married before? or not?
If you have been married before, then your expectations are probably higher than if you haven't. You know what it feels like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't do everything you want them to do. You know how important honesty and trustworthiness are for a long-term partnership and are looking for someone who shares those values with you.
If this is your first time around the block regarding relationships, your expectations aren't so high—or they are! Either way, it's safe to say that most people want kindhearted partners who will treat them well.
Do they need to have kids or not?
It's not a deal breaker, but it's a plus. Many people think having kids is one of the most essential things in a relationship. But if you don't have them yourself and your partner doesn't, it shouldn't be a problem!
It may be an issue for some people. If you want children and your partner doesn't, this could be an issue for both of you--and vice versa! It depends on how strongly each person feels about the topic (and whether they're open to discussing it).
It's important to know what you want in your next relationship. You don't want to waste time with someone who isn't going to fulfill your needs or make you happy. Take time and think about what qualities are most essential for you to be a partner. Then, find someone who matches those criteria!
Happy searching,
Erin
Time to Dish:
What are your standards?
Do you make sure to stick to them? or do you settle?
No one is perfect, are you able to look beyond the small things?