Here you are, back in the dating game and trying to keep an open mind to what's out there. The ways and means of meeting people have taken a seismic turn since March 2020 - yes, 32 months and counting, and let's face it, do you really want to go out, possibly hook up and put your health at risk with someone you're not 100% sure of with COVID plus everything else going on in this crazy world we now live in?
Nevertheless, we're now at a place in late 2022 where if we're smart - and we are - we've thrown everything we once thought we knew about dating. What you and I once thought were solid-in-stone "rules" for dating are null and void today. But that doesn't mean you have to lock yourself up at home and never go out or meet someone new. So, let's say you've met someone “in real life" - no apps or texts, please - and the momentum has been positive, yet you feel they may be holding back in some way, shape, or form. Or maybe they're just being assholes without realizing it. But it bothers you. If so, look for these 10 big time “red flags" for post-divorce dating before you dive in too seriously:
They were really into you initially; however, communication is slowly simmering.
Your gut feels as if long term, this is not your match.
You get into a rut of playing house and are not ready for that type of relationship.
They are mysterious with details of their daily lives.
They lack trust in you and always try to be up in your business, making you uncomfortable.
They show up at places to “surprise you," making you super uncomfortable.
They get angry when they cannot spend time with you when you say you need “downtime” or “me time."
They worship the ground you walk on within two weeks or earlier.
They make you feel guilty for not doing what they want you to do.
You do not feel comfortable being out in public with them
And this one should not only be a red flag, but it should also be a green light to run as fast and far away from them as possible: They make fun of you in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself.
Red flags are easy to overlook but keep your wits about you, and if one or more of the above prove to be the case, it's probably time to do some serious thinking about how/if/why you would subject yourselves to this treatment.
Keep it real out there and trust your gut, Erin
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