Do you have mixed feelings about your divorce? Like you know it’s the right thing, but the emotions are too hard even to start the process?
You are not alone. It’s a very emotional process that can be broken down into five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. D-A-B-D-A. Those five stages represent grief over the loss of a relationship and marriage.
Even though you think your partner knows its best, it doesn’t mean it is easy on one. If you have had fighting or tension in the house for a long while, you will immediately feel relief. Though the comfort then turns into disbelief and follows the five stages.
There are days, upon days, you may find yourself trying to cope and not cry because a relationship you had hoped would last is now over. You are often elated only to discover that it's followed by days of depression. THAT IS OK!
Our advice: give yourself time to grieve, do not just jump into your next relationship, but you can get out there when you are ready.
Here are seven things you can do to take care of yourself during this process:
1) Reconnect with friends. There may be married or single friends you haven’t seen in years. Call them up and go out for dinner, a walk, or a glass of wine.
2) Clear your headspace. Working out can fight off depression, and if you join a group workout, you can make new friends and see that other people are in similar situations.
3) Organize your life. Your life may have felt messy before and through divorce but now, take a couple of hours a week to get organized with your new way of life.
4) Ask for help. Asking for support and a hug can be one of the best things you do, and we have found that friends are happy to do it.
5) Share your story. Sharing your story can have remarkable effects on your mental health. Talking with other divorcees at any stage can make you realize again that you are not alone.
6) Take a trip by yourself. It’s liberating to take a trip by yourself and just be you or find you again.
7) Spend time, and quality time with your kids (if applicable). You will feed off their energy, and they are sure to bring a smile even during your most challenging times. Don’t forget it is also OK to cry in front of them, and you are HUMAN.
Divorce is complicated, anyway, you put it, so take your time.
Divorcee Dish Team