This weekend we're doing a deep dive on virtual dating because we continue to be in awe - plus every other reaction from horror to jealousy! - of your eye-opening stories.
When you're newly single, especially in your 40s, 50s & 60s, it’s a easier to be fooled by another potential male or female paramour. It seems this demographic (which I’m in) seeks happiness and knows what they want; people seem to talk the talk but not walk the walk.
This could be because we have been jaded by past relationships or spoiled. However, let me set some expectations – from my perspective. When chatting on dating apps or social platforms, e.g. Facebook Dating or random Instagram requests (please be VERY wary of these BTW) and others. Here's how:
1) Apps: Find one or two and pay for a membership, even for a short period. The reason is that people who are “verified” are less likely to be fake profiles, but there is still that chance.
2) Keep the conversation going on the dating application until you get a good feel for this person. If you are looking for a quick hook-up, this may move quickly, but if you are looking for a trustworthy partner, you will be willing to follow this rule.
3) Clean out: You will see many people on apps that do not fit your filters, and I suggest using the filters on any app that you use.
4) When chatting, as soon as you can, get his/her last name and look them up on social channels, whitepages.com, or the many other search platforms that are out there for background information.
5) Are they married or separated? Daters be warned: cheaters are everywhere, and you may end up in a situation that was innocent at the beginning and then hurtful in the end. Also, watch out for the “open relationship” folks – do their partners know they are in an “open relationship”?
6) Make sure you keep your profile up to date, and hopefully, the person you chose is not using 5-10-year-old pictures. The most ridiculous is the bathroom pictures via a mirror – these people are trying to show off or tease the goods.
7) Ask the right questions upfront, beyond the basics, and see if they are in “travel mode” unless you are looking for something quick and easy (you know what I mean).
Now the questions:
- Where are you from?
- What city do you live in?
- What are you seeking from these dating apps?
- How has your experience been in the past?
- If you have never been married, why?
- If you have divorced and married 3x, why?
- Get the details with the most critical question being, "what is your last name?"
That last question only keeps everyone safe and if you cannot find anything else about them online about RUN...FAST.
Dating is always an adventure but keep it a safe experience & always in your best interest. Know what you want and make that apparent upfront.
Take care & stay safe out there,
Erin