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Dating Apps...I just can not

I've been an on-and-off user of dating applications for a while now. It seems to be a necessary evil when you’re divorced and single. You can meet other people and find your soulmate there, but there are many downsides.

Weirdness is the most common reason users cite for leaving a dating app. People don't like to feel embarrassed, and they especially don't like it when other people make them feel ashamed. This is one of the few things that can cause someone to delete an app. But why does weirdness happen? People aren't honest about themselves in their profiles (or even worse, they flat-out lie). If you're going to meet someone face-to-face, you need accurate information about whom you're talking with. And suppose you keep your information private about yourself and your preferences about dating partners early in the conversation. In that case, I guarantee some awkward moments later on down the road.

Now about pics, particularly selfies people post on dating apps. Bathrooms are gross, period; no way, no how. They're where we wash our bodies and brush our teeth but also where we vomit, take dumps, and get sick. Bathrooms are disgusting, and no one should ever want to spend any time in them – even the cleanest ones and not for a selfie - except maybe if you have to pee badly because it's necessary (and even then, it still can be gross). Net net, why would anyone take a picture in a bathroom? So unnecessary.

Next, being a "big fish" in an online dating pool can be pretty appealing if you're a guy. After all, it's flattering to think that women are so desperate for your attention that they'll overlook your flaws and send you messages blindly… it's even more positive when they respond! So, if you're receiving this attention (and let's face it, most guys are), then being a big fish isn't so great after all. Why? Because most women don't like big fish at all, and if you're not careful, they may swipe left on your profile before giving it another glance. Why the F do we want to see what you caught last weekend? WE DO NOT CARE; WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?

With all of the above, it should be no surprise that I don't like dating apps, and they make me feel like unattractive males constantly surround me. But wait! Plenty of apps are designed to match people based on mutual interests and traits. However, many don't consider that most women have their idea about what constitutes an attractive man, and 100% of it involves more than looks.

It's not just physical appearance either; some men can be handsome but still have no game (we'll get into this later). In my experience, there are three main categories: 1) Ugly men or "ugly"; 2) good-looking guys aren't attractive enough for me to want a relationship with them (note these may fall under either category, ugly or attractive); and 3) attractive men who possess other qualities that make them worth pursuing as boyfriend material…they’re the ones I'm looking for.

Back to pics for a minute before I close: If you're on a dating app and have photos of yourself at the gym, this is a big red flag. Men only take pictures of themselves at the gym because they’re trying to show off how fit and healthy they are or want people who know what they're doing to think that about them. Either way, it's not good for your chances with me or anyone else. I will swipe left on anyone with gym photos as their main profile picture (sometimes even when it isn't). I've seen too many guys use this tactic as an attempt at validation from others or self-esteem boosting in general. It’s selfish and vain, and I don't need any more egomaniacs than what comes naturally annually. Right?

So, all in all, It's safe to say that I am done with dating apps. The only people who use them seem to be desperate losers who can't get a date in real life. If you want more than just an online hookup, try meeting people in real life instead of wasting time on these sites. That’s my take.

Time to Dish:

  • What are your thoughts on these dating sites?

  • Have you found one? Do you love and meet quality people?

  • Do you find common interests?

  • What do you want out of a dating application?


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