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Dating/Divorce: Why they mess with your head.

You know the feeling: you see someone, and your mind starts spinning. Maybe they're hot, or funny, or smart, there’s just something about them him or her that makes you think twice. BUT…you can't quite put your finger on it. There’s something off about them in a way that's hard to describe. Then boom, they go out of their way to be nice to you, and suddenly everything seems perfect…until they do something totally un-perfect again. However, don't worry if this sounds familiar. It happens to everyone at one point or another once you dive into the dating pool. Here are some common reasons why people might mess with your head (and how to deal).

· They are into you.

The worst part about this is that it's all in your head. Yes! The other person isn't trying to be mean or hurtful; they're just being themselves and doing what comes naturally to them. They don't know how you feel about them, so they're trying to figure out if there's any potential for a romantic relationship between the two of you.

And if this person does like you, then he/she might think it would be better if he/she made the first move instead of waiting for something from you first, e.g., a kiss or some form of physical contact (holding hands). When someone likes another person who doesn't return those feelings back yet, they may try harder until they succeed at getting closer physically by initiating more intimate interactions like kissing on the lips with tongue involved! Whoa, jackpot!

· They are scared.

They are afraid of getting hurt, they are afraid of rejection, and they are afraid of being vulnerable. They often don't want to show their true selves because they think that you will reject them if you know who they really are. It's easier for them to lie (ugh) than tell the truth because then there is less chance of getting hurt or rejected by someone else.

The truth hurts but so does lying! Lying makes your heart heavy inside while telling the truth sets your mind free from burdens and guilt feelings that come with deceiving others around us in our daily lives. As human beings co-existing on planet earth together peacefully side by side as one big family…it’s called "humanity" and it freaks a lot of people out, hence the lies.

· They are confused. They don't know how they feel and they're not sure what they want, so they mess with your head to try and figure it out. They are afraid of hurting you or losing you, which causes them to act out in ways that make no sense at all. They may even think that if they do enough crazy stuff, then something will change for the better (really cray cray). But instead of getting closer together as a result of their antics (which is what most people hope for), this behavior only makes things worse between the two of you.

Here's the deal: Get to know your own intentions and those of the other person, before moving forward by asking yourself these questions:

1) Why am I considering this person? What do I want from him/her?

2) How does this person make me feel? Is it a good feeling or a bad one, and why do I think that's so (or not)?

3) What is true for me right now? What isn't true for me right now? What do I want to be true in my life and how can this person help me get there?

I hope this article has helped shed some light on why people mess with your head, and what you can do about it. And remember that there are always two sides to every story, so don't jump to conclusions without understanding both sides first!

Keep your heads together,


Time to Dish:

  1. What can you do to stop being messed with?

  2. What are some statements you can create to help you?

  3. How will you create boundaries?

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