OK ladies, as a woman of a certain age, likely you've had a child or two (or three, maybe four, or more), and now you're getting divorced. You look in the mirror or try on a pair of last year's jeans & OH EM GEE.
But it's not just all of us moms; men can also experience the dreaded “Mom" pre-menopausal body, also known as - God forbid - the "Dad" body & you're now uncool in the eyes of everyone 😄
It happens innocently enough as you raise your children and start snacking off their plates. Then you find yourself snacking your way through the day. Then you wheel up to the drive-through of everything and while you're there, you grab a little something.
Add to the mix outside activities: Get little Joey to soccer practice, Bella needs to dance, and Sam needs to go to field hockey. What do you do? Skip nutrition. Call yourself a hamster because you're on your own circular treadmill, a constant spin cycle that takes you immediately to an unhealthy feeling.
Face it: You're a single parent, and on your “off” days - I say that with my eyes rolling up out of my head as I type this - we are NEVER truly off. You do your damnedest to get things done around the house, go to work; learn about your new single lifestyle; think (and hopefully know) that your life has changed, and start thinking about dating and intimacy again. This is when you do not only a physical self-assessment but a mental one as well.
So there's that word again: Intimacy. WHAT? You feel as you do feel after being married with kids and you wonder how feelings of intimacy can still exist. Does it at this stage? Yes, it does. And while it's different later in life, regardless of your body type, don't dismiss those thoughts; embrace them, for Pete's sake!
I touch on this because I have had s
o many divorcees (primarily women) say to me, "Oh, I have so many battle wounds from babies, surgeries, and other things that make me run from feelings of getting involved with someone, much less intimate." Add to that the men with the beginning of man boobs, and it seem
s like a pity party for all with no happy ending. But wait just one minute...
Remember, you are in an emotio
nal, physical, and mental transition right now. Sure, everyone later in life thinks back to the times they were in the best shape of their lives, but that may or may not be the current case. And it may never be again, but don't let that hold you back.
Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, face the moment (and that body in the mirror) and remember that this new life chapter is all about new beginnings, shared experiences, and what could possibly be a whole fresh start. You are beautiful inside and out no matter what!