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Feeling SPOOKY 👻

Have you met someone new who makes your heart go pitty-pat, and after a few fun texts that turn to coffee dates or drinks, said person pulls a disappearing act? Fear not, DD friends, because “ghosting” is, unfortunately, a widespread occurrence for many (me included).

Were you being too pushy? Gave TMI? Or maybe it was something else? How hard is it to text someone back and say politely, “thanks but no thanks”? Ghosting feels painful. We try to be laid back but get super frustrated waiting for that ask or that text to re-engage. And no matter who it is or what it’s about, I always try and respond to a text. To me, that’s just common courtesy in our digital age, but apparently not to others.

I’m the first to admit that meeting someone and perhaps ultimately dating me in my 40s has proven to be a bit challenging. I don’t even know how to explain all the disappearing acts I have had! Does that person think it's easier to vanish versus responding because it’s “just a text,” not a call? I try to take things in stride, but honestly, there are so many times I want to say, “guys, WTF is wrong with you? You are an adult; communicating like one would be nice.” But I don’t. Wanna know why?


How? I remind myself that this is about the other people, not me. I’ve made a gesture that’s not being reciprocated, given it enough thought, and decided to move on. Period. Sure, there are other things you can do, and believe me, I’ve Googled plenty of ways, but at the end of the day, I feel that’s the best way to handle it. Besides, I have other things that are way more important. My kids. My work. My friends. And apparently, that’s what The Universe believes is essential for me to…and so do I. Meanwhile, I’ll leave all ghosting up to the trick-or-treaters - since Halloween is only 3 weeks away - and happily reward them with candy. For more perspective on handling ghosting, check out this great piece from the crew at (link to And hang tough, DDers! Xo, Erin


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