Do you want a divorce? Or do you just need a break?
Marriage does not differentiate for brides or grooms; it can be blissful whether you're a traditional duo or in a same-sex commitment, but no matter, it's a heckuva lot of work. And I promise you, marriage will test every bone in your body, making you wonder if you'll break or make it to the light at the end of the tunnel. And those vows? Through good times and bad, sickness and health, but come on, how much can you really take when you begin the thought of your partner can simultaneously make you want to puke or float around on cloud nine?
On top of that, this is the time of year when people love to talk smack and at the same time hear dirt about everyone else (EVERYONE, and that includes you, sweetie), whether your relationship is smooth sailing or in choppy waters. Christmas parties are ground zero for
rumors, true or false, and family functions can be overwhelming, to say the least (Aunt Martha never knows when to keep her big mouth shut, does she?), creating extra stress on you and your partner. It's even more horrible when there are kids involved. All children - whether young or old - have high expectations at holiday time and excellent (for them anyway) memories of years of tradition. That's a lot of pressure, huh? Keeping your head on straight when there is tension in the home can lead to a blow-up. And does that blow-up mean you really want a divorce? Let’s look at the top reasons and seasons when women and men divorce.
You were married before your 22 birthday and have since become different people.
Some affairs of the heart, whether physical or emotional, matter.
You have naturally grown in the opposite direction; one of you is stagnant, and the other is always creating a new positive path.
There has been physical or mental abuse.
You sleep in separate bedrooms, and the intimacy is just gone.
Seasons (yes, there really are seasons when divorce rates climb):
According to a divorce lawyer friend, March, August and January are the top months when couples split. “Divorce is seasonal,” Vicky Townsend, co-founder, and chief executive of the National Association of Divorce Professionals, was quoted as saying last month in The New York Times states. Her network comprises specialists like lawyers, therapists, and tax advisers who may be used in divorce proceedings. From Thanksgiving until New Year’s, lawyers’ offices are slow because people have put off divorce until after the holidays, Ms. Townsend said. And she noted that people who may have been considering a divorce in the year's final months often put off the decision until the holidays have finished. The idea may be, “New Year’s resolutions — it’s a new year, new you, new start,” she said. “The holidays are over, and I’m not going into this year as miserable as last year.” – thus putting it off until the holidays are over.
So, there you have it: Lots of food for thought in this DD blog edition, and absolutely none of this information should be taken lightly, decisions made harshly or in the heat of the moment. However, in closing, we have 4 days until the new year. Do you genuinely want to go it alone or stand by your 'soulmate'? It's a HUGE decision.
Take care of yourselves,