Memories to Cherish, Memories to Forget

Some memories arrive like old friends—you welcome them with a smile, sit with them for a while, and let them remind you of who you used to be. Others barge in like uninvited guests, dragging heartache, guilt, and the ghost of your former self right into the room.

Welcome to the beautiful, complicated mess of life after divorce.

If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake at night replaying a highlight reel of your past, wondering which memories are worth holding onto and which ones need to be let go, you’re not alone. Healing isn't just about therapy, time, or Tinder swipes. Sometimes, it's about memory management: finally knowing what to carry with you and what to leave behind.

Memories to Cherish

Not every part of your marriage was a disaster. If it were, you never would have stayed as long as you did. There were moments—real, meaningful moments—worth holding onto.

• The inside jokes. The silly ones no one else would understand. The way you’d laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe. The moments when you felt like a team.

• The family milestones. First homes. First steps. First holidays together. Even if the person you shared them with is no longer in your life, those memories still belong to you. You were there. You showed up. You loved.

• The lessons. Maybe it wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but look at you now. Wiser. Braver. Clearer. The pain taught you something important—about your boundaries, resilience, and worth.

• The versions of yourself you discovered. Maybe you learned how to cook because your ex never did. Perhaps you found your voice in the arguments. Maybe you became a mother, a caretaker, a fighter. Those memories shaped you, and they deserve your gratitude.

  
  

Cherishing doesn’t mean living in the past. It means choosing to see the beauty in what was, even if it didn’t last.

Memories to Forget

And then there are the memories that don’t deserve space in your mind or your heart anymore. The ones that trigger anxiety, self-doubt, or shame. The ones that replay in your head like a broken record, convincing you that you failed or weren’t enough.

Let’s be clear: You did not fail. The relationship did. And that’s not the same thing.

• Forget the gaslighting. The manipulation. The moments you were made to feel small.

• Forget the fights where you stayed silent to keep the peace.

• Forget the holidays you hosted with a fake smile, while feeling invisible in your home.

• Forget the years you lost trying to fix something you didn’t break alone.

  
  

You’re not erasing the past—you’re choosing peace over pain. You don’t owe anyone the burden of carrying their bad behavior around in your head forever.

Memories That Live In The Grey

Some memories refuse to be boxed up in the “good” or “bad” categories. They’re complicated. Messy. Bittersweet.

Maybe it’s how your ex held your hand when you were scared. Maybe it’s the memory of giving birth with them by your side. Perhaps it’s the night they made you feel like the only person in the world, followed by a season where they made you feel like the last.

Those memories? Let them be what they are. You don’t have to label them. Just acknowledge them and keep walking forward.

You don’t have to honor every memory to heal. You don’t have to hate your past to grow. And you don’t have to forget everything to move on. But you do have the power to choose what stays and what goes.

Let the memories that feed your soul take up space. Let the ones that starve your spirit fade.

And when you find yourself in a new moment—a good one, a joyful one—pause. Breathe it in. Let that become your new memory to cherish.

Much love from our team,

Erin