When you are going through a divorce, any aspect of it is painful unless you have an impossible situation where there is no other way out. Most of the stories I have heard are we just became different people, or we grew apart, or there was just a moment when we knew we had to make this move so we could be better people for our children. Whatever the reason, to fully heal, you must reflect on your journey as a couple.
This is the beginning of my story. I met my husband in 1997; we were both dating other people and met while being servers. We slowly saw this innate and something we both wanted after not being happy in our current situations.
We dated the same people through college and realized there must be more out there when we met each other. At that point, I had never cheated on a boyfriend, ever. He had been through some rougher spots in his relationship than others but had moved across the country to be with his person.
Little did we know that within four months, we would be an item and move in together within a year. Then within two years became married in 2000. Our marriage was great the first year, every month, he sent me flowers, and we would go out with friends and such. We were very much in that marital bliss.
Years went by, and we wanted children, which wasn't as easy as it seemed. I suffered one miscarriage in 2003, which was heartbreaking; then, through a rough battle with endometriosis, I had to seek specialists to guide us into how we could have children. A year of a couple of surgeries to fix "clean out" the endometriosis proved difficult for us emotionally and psychically. When you are trying to get pregnant, it just does not happen. That can be stressful enough to ruin a marriage. However, we remain hopeful, sad but hopeful.
Regarding: Fertility issues, we will have a different blog focusing on that subject.
After a year of trying, we discovered we were pregnant with twins. With the help of our
fertility doctor, the twins would be born exactly two years later, on the same date we had pulled up to the hospital for a D & C. My water broke early one morning, and we met our beautiful twin girls within hours. So much excitement was going on but so much stress and worry about will we would be able to handle all of it. Of course, we did, but as all parents struggle at first, you become a pro in no time. However, I am going to be very direct. It is hard as af to live on no sleep, worry about your kids, will I keep them happy and healthy --- and of course, that never stops.
During this phase, it was a time that my husband would have to travel a lot for his job, and I was often alone with the twins and enjoying every moment; however, after months of this, I started to become sad because I felt he was missing out on some of the development of the girls. However, I would continue to pick them up early from daycare every day and take them to the park to swing and watch as they became little people.
After three years, we had grown out of our home with two munchkins running around our first home, and it was time to seek a more significant place. We fell in love with a house just three streets over, and we moved; little did we know, I was pregnant again, only to lose the baby shortly after moving into our new house. That was a very tough loss, and so many women/ couples go through this daily. I was shocked I was pregnant, but seeing that 8-week check-up and seeing no heartbeat caused a significant strain on us. I started to become distant but celebrated what I did have: two healthy girls, a new house, and new heartbreak.
Peace & Love,
Erin
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