Stages of Divorce: BREATHE Even When You Think You Can not
- Erin Jones
- Sep 27
- 2 min read
Divorce isn’t just a legal process; it’s an emotional earthquake. One day, you think you’ve found your footing, and the next, you’re knocked flat by a wave of sadness or anger you didn’t see coming. If you’re there right now, clinging to whatever air you can find, I see you. You’re not broken. You’re human.
Let's review the emotional stage and how to throw a lifeline when it feels like breathing is impossible.
The Emotional Stages of Divorce:
Shock & Denial. It’s surreal at first. Maybe you keep thinking: “This can’t really be happening.” Paperwork feels abstract; the house feels strange. You may feel numb or go into autopilot to get through the day.
Anger shows up hot and sharp — at your ex, at the situation, sometimes at yourself. Anger is often a protective layer over deep hurt. Don’t fear it; just don’t let it drive every decision you make.
Bargaining & the “What Ifs”: Your Brain Tries to Rewrite the Ending. “What if we tried harder? What if I were different?” It’s an exhausting loop, but it’s also part of the process of searching for meaning. Never, ever get caught up in the "What If's" , I learned this years ago from a therapist, and I teach it to anyone who will listen today.
Grief & Loneliness. The silence can feel deafening. You may mourn the relationship, the routine, the shared dreams. Grief is heavy because what you built mattered. Let yourself feel that weight.
Acceptance & Growth. It doesn’t arrive neatly wrapped. Sometimes it’s just a small moment, laughing with a friend, buying something for yourself, picturing a future you like. Slowly, you reclaim joy.
How to BREATHE When It All Feels Too Much:
When emotions feel like quicksand, pause and remember: BREATHE.
B — Be still. Stop moving for one minute. Let the world slow down.
R — Release control. You don’t have to fix it all today.
E — Embrace feelings. Cry. Rage. Journal. They’re meant to move through you, not stay stuck.
A — Ask for help. Lean on friends, therapy, and support groups. You’re not alone.
T — Take tiny steps. Shower, eat, walk, text someone. Forward motion counts.
H — Hold on to hope. Even if it’s faint, trust that this chapter isn’t the whole story.
E — Extend grace to yourself. Progress is messy. That’s okay.
You will survive this, even though there are days you feel like you will not.
There will be mornings when you wake up and the heaviness is still there. Breathe anyway. There will be nights when the quiet feels unbearable. Breathe anyway. One day — and it may surprise you — the breath will come easier, and so will the hope.
You are not just surviving divorce; you are rebuilding a life—a beautiful, brave one. Keep breathing.
Share this with someone who needs the reminder today
