When you sit back and think about the relationships you had before your divorce and now after – Who is the first person that comes to mind?
Call that person your lifeline through a difficult situation. I am lucky to have several true friends that were there for me from day one. I am telling you this because the reality is that you may have other friends that fade away (unexpectedly). After all, they do not know what to say or may be tired of hearing about your situation.
This doesn’t mean they are not there for you. It means you do n
ot know what to do unless you have been through it.
You will be surprised how different it is to be divorced at times. It’s not that these friends have “chosen sides.” However, that does happen from time to time.
I remember someone saying once, “I just do not get invited anywhere since I’ve been divorced.” At first, that may be true. However, it would help if you had your tribe to survive. Emotional survival takes years to heal, and surrounding yourself with people who have been in your shoes makes all the difference. Once you find that person, friends start to multiply (kind of like Gremlins in a good way).
These people you call on when you have good times and bad times. Even years after my divorce, I still have moments, and you will have moments that come out of nowhere. Remember, you do not have to be the stoic superhero – you need to call upon your tribe to transition you through that time.
My phone is filled with several individuals to get me through good and rough days; this has made all the difference in my world.
Here are a few tips: 1) Do not think no one is there for you – because you’ll be surprised at who can handle a call when you are down. 2) Make new friends through common interests; you’d be surprised how close you get when you share the same passions. 3) Please do not feel lonely and do not leave your house—call your tribe. 4) Create a habit of touching base and checking on others; you may find they are having a hard time. The bonding continues to flourish in these moments.
As always, we wish you strength and happiness. Song dedication: “Thank you for being a friend,” performed by Andrew Gold