top of page

The State of Separation.

The time you and your spouse decide to separate can give you peace and grief, making the scenario one of the most complex decisions of your life. Does separation mean it’s over? I mean, officially over. Does it mean we are still hanging on to what’s left of a marriage? Can you go back from a separation to a committed relationship? Does therapy help you sort this out?

The answers to those questions are entirely dependent on your situation. When I see someone post that he or she is “separated” on a social network or dating site, I think, “Why the announcement to the public?” Is that meant to imply I’m free for a bit or forever?

And then there’s this: Is the one stating this is trying to hurt the other person? Are they crying for help because they are sad and lonely? All these questions lead to the one at the gut – pardon the pun – of the situation: Is it truly the end or are you still trying the ‘cuts like a knife into your heart’ routine?

According to a quick search on Google:

“Statistically, 80% of couples who enter a marital separation end up divorcing. And, on average, they remain separated for three years before finalizing their divorce. On the other hand, on average, 10% of those who separate reunite within two years.”

Which leads me to ask-Why?

Yes, 80% may end in a divorce, but per the above, it could be years before you decide which avenue to go down. Sadly, that is a lot of time for suffering and confusion for you, your partner, your children, and your family. Additionally, separated couples live in the same household for months and years and end up like roommates who do not speak, which is unhealthy for everyone involved. Needless to say, this creates an almost unbearable, underlying tension that makes everyone completely miserable.

My advice? If you can make it happen when you decide to separate from your partner, really separate to find clarity in what you want for the future. Seek therapy for you and your partner; couples counseling may help.

And don’t forget this if you’re wavering: If it’s over, it’s OVER. Rip off that band-aid and move on if your gut tells you it won’t work. Life is too short to be miserable; it is no fun for anyone, especially you. Remember, you may or may not realize you're making those around you miserable.

Back to manifesting – you can display a happier life; you have to decide what is best for you, and no one can tell you this but YOU.




Subscribe to our blog! Be the first to hear the new Dish!

You are now part of the Divorcee Dish Family!

bottom of page