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When the sex is not good (don’t freak).


We all have that one friend who is always bragging about how good their sex life is. You may even be that person, but typically, we’re wired not to like that person- ha! However, your friends and family won’t know what it's like when you are having sex with your partner, past or present, nor do they need to know.


There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve your sex life and even teach each other new things, but some couples get frustrated when they do not match up in bed or feel like they are "bad in bed." It’s normal, especially when you’re with a new partner. However, if you want to improve your sex life - and maybe teach each other some new moves along the way - read on for our tips on ensuring that both people enjoy themselves:

  • First, it's essential to understand that many people have sex and don't like it. Swear! If they do, they're often afraid to say so because they think others will think less of them or their partner will be disappointed. Most people would rather not have sex than have lousy sex, even if the person they're having sex with loves them.

  • The reason for this is simple: good sex feels good; lousy sex doesn't feel good and may even hurt sometimes (especially if your partner doesn't know what they are doing). So, when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation when your sexual experiences aren't satisfying both parties involved, what do you do?

  • If you are having ‘bad sex,’ the problem could be your lack of confidence. You need to know what you want. If your partner is doing something you don’t like or something that feels wrong, tell them. They should know now versus later when it might be too late. If they are doing everything right and still aren't getting results, maybe try another position or two.

  • Learning how to have satisfying sex involves the two of you. Discuss what you and your partner like during sex. If either or both of you feel shy talking about this, there are plenty of ways around it. Try writing down lists of things that turn each other on/off. You can also try using toys or props when playing with each other, as these tools can help show your partner what feels good without saying anything that makes either of you uncomfortable.

  • If neither of you has had much sexual activity before, then taking things slowly might be best until both people feel ready for more intense stimulation. But even if this isn't true for either, communication between partners should remain paramount throughout any sexual encounter so that everyone knows exactly where they stand throughout every step along their journey together sexually.

  • If your sexual partner tells you they don't like how you two have sex or think there's something wrong with your technique, don't take it personally (ouch, literally!) This is an opportunity for both of you to grow closer together and explore each other's bodies in new ways. Problems happen when people try new things, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with either person involved or the relationship itself.

  • If you want to be better at sex, talk with your partner about it and reach out to teach each other more. Sex is an essential part of a relationship, but if you find that the quality of your sex life has diminished or become dull or routine, then some things can be done to improve it.

  • One way would be to openly communicate what works best for both of you during sexual activity. This includes discussing what turns each person on physically and emotionally (e.g., being severe versus playful). By doing this regularly throughout your relationship, both participants will learn more about themselves physically and emotionally, which may lead to better relationships overall. Why? Because they will know exactly what their partner needs from them when intimacy occurs.


At the end of the day, If you have trouble with your sex life, talking about it with your partner will most definitely help. It's also a good idea to try teaching each other more about what you like and don't like in bed. The more you know about each other, the better your chances of having great sex together!



Let’s Dish:

  • Have you had lousy sex after the divorce?

  • How have you handled this situation?

  • Did you talk to the person?

  • Did you resolve the issues? If so, how?




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