Why Won’t They Text Back? When Grown Adults Act Like 8-Year-Olds With Phones

Modern dating (and even post-divorce co-parenting) often hinges on one tiny, glowing device: our phones. Texting has become the default form of communication for everything from “good morning” to “I’m running late” to, unfortunately, ghosting, breadcrumbing, and full-blown avoidance.

But why is it that some full-grown adults—divorced or not—communicate like 8-year-olds with a secret phone under their desk? You know the ones: they can scroll TikTok for three hours but can’t seem to muster a 5-second reply to “Are we still on for Saturday?”

Here’s why this behavior is more than just annoying—it’s emotional immaturity in digital form.

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First off, They Don’t Know How to Handle Conflict Like Adults:

Some adults never learned how to sit in discomfort. Instead of saying, “Hey, I’m not feeling this anymore,” they vanish into the iMessage abyss. That might’ve worked in middle school, but grown folks? We deserve closure, not confusion.

Secondly, They Think Ignoring You Is “Polite.”:

Believe it or not, some people think not responding is kinder than saying “no thanks” or “I need space.” Newsflash: silence is not kind—it’s dismissive. You’re not protecting anyone’s feelings by ghosting them. You’re just avoiding accountability.

Thirdly, They Want Control Without Commitment:

Some people feel that not texting you back is a powerful move. It keeps them in control of the interaction. Maybe they’ll reach out when they want attention or feel lonely—but until then, radio silence. Sound familiar? That’s not interesting; it’s manipulation.

Fourth: They Treat Phones Like Toys, Not Tools:

Some people use texting the way an 8-year-old plays with a new toy—fun when it’s exciting, dropped when it’s boring. It gets ignored if it doesn’t serve their mood in the moment. But here’s the thing: relationships aren’t playthings. And texting isn’t a game.

Finally, They Were Never Taught (or Never Chose) Digital Respect:

Let’s be real—basic etiquette applies to texting, too. Just like you wouldn’t walk away mid-conversation in real life, you shouldn’t stop replying. But if someone never learned this or refuses to care, they’ll keep leaving you on read like it’s no big deal.

Bottom line: You’re not asking for too much when you expect timely, respectful communication. And you’re not “needy” or “too intense” for wanting clarity. If someone can’t even text like an adult, they probably can’t love like one either.

So here’s your reminder: If they text you like a child, don’t waste time giving them any of your energy. It's exhausting and frankly "Let Them" - they may never learn, proper respect.

Cheers,

Erin