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One of the divorce's most challenging tasks is telling your kids that their lives will change forever. No matter their ages. There will be tears; looks on their faces you'll never forget; daunting sadness on everyone's part; screaming, and more. The worst? Knowing you're hurting them is horrible, but it's inevitable. And the hurt has no limitations. They may have been expecting it or had no clue. They are very young and will never remember the original family unit, or they're older and intuitive about divorce. Ultimately there will be a barrage of questions from your kids of all ages. Here are a few to prepare for: 1) Will we still be able to spend nights as a family together? 2) Where will we live? 3) Are you selling our house? 4) Who will move where? 5) Why are you getting divorced? 6) Why didn’t you try harder to keep our family together? 7) You never fought, so why are you getting a divorce? 8) What will our new schedule be? 9) Is it my/our fault? 10) Why is this happening to our family? 11) Where will we spend the holidays? 12) Does anyone else know about this? 13) Can I talk to my friends about this? 14)When will this happen...today...tomorrow...this month...this year? 15) What about our family vacations? 16) Why don’t you love each other anymore? 17) Do you hate each other? 18) Will we have to go to court? 19) I am SO sad; what should I do? 20) Are you dating someone else? The above are a few I’ve been privy to, but there are many more. The best you can do for your kids is just love and support them throughout all the stages, then find clarity quickly so they know what to expect next. That is super important because your children take things very literally, so be prepared to answer lots of questions and comfort your babies, whether they're toddlers or grown. Xoxo, Erin P.S. Here are Some questions of your own to figure out before you tackle the above: - Are you prepared to answer all of their inquiries? - Do you have a timeline for the process, fallout, and healing? - When exactly do you tell your kids (choose a specific date & time of day)?

Warning Trigger blog: My parents divorced when I was 15 years old, my sister 8, my brother 5, and it was one of the most challenging periods of my life. I was a teenager lost in hormones and emotions. My sister and brother were too young to fully understand. My mom was devastated. Over the first year, I remember feeling raw and I rebelled; boy did I rebel. However, I also stepped up to the plate and helped my mom. It was such a tumultuous time. My siblings were at a loss. My sister was very close to my dad and it was particularly difficult for her. As the oldest, this took a big toll on me. My dad quickly introduced his new girlfriend to us. Innocently, we did not know what to think. I remember being so confused and crushed that he had someone else, and my mom was really suffering. My high school friends were there for me and supported my every move, but I often say I’ve been raising myself since I was 15, along with helping my sister and brother. There was so much hatred in my parent's divorce that I knew if that ever happened to me, I would make sure it was as positive a situation as possible. Though I thought when I got married we would be together forever, as we all know since I began this blog, that wasn’t the case. A few years have passed since my divorce; my twin daughters were 13, my son was 7, and it was the hardest thing we (me and my ex) ever had to tell these sweet children, who were so innocent. Emotions were raw for everyone. I was the one who moved out and needed a fresh start, and wow, did that hurt. Though knowing the divorce was the right thing to do after years of us growing apart it was, and continues to be, one of the most challenging experiences of my life. You may feel like you can finally breathe in the early days of a split, but emotions will be there for years to come. However, I know in my heart my ex and I made the right decision as to what was best for our family. As the twins have grown older and matured, they have worked through many of their emotions, however, my son is now showing symptoms of PTSD. He’s been triggered by his dad and I moving on in different directions and he has been asking, “Why are you and daddy not together?” and “Why didn’t you try harder?” and “All of this is so overwhelming," as tears run down his face. I console him the best I can. However, I feel his raw emotions on that surface, which hurts me inside. My sweet boy is devasted and just now realizing it. My ex and I have a good co-parenting relationship. We also promised the kids we would work together and have meals, some holidays, etc., which has and hasn’t worked over the past few years. It's a process. My point is that raw emotion can hit anyone anytime, anywhere, and bubbles up from the past. Showing love and compassion and seeking therapy for you, your ex, and your children is key to survival. When those moments happen, stop what you are doing, listen and show LOVE. One day we may heal completely but there is no definitive timeline I can give you on that. But here is something I promise will help even on the roughest days: Keep your head up and focus on the here and now. Take care of yourself so you can handle these situations. Onward and upward, Erin Share this post:

Have you heard of the three texts theory in the dating world? If not, you are going to want to read this. When a woman or man sends three texts in a row, it drives one another away. Women are labeled as "crazy" or "psycho" (seriously). Men are labeled more flirty and exciting, ensuring that the person they are courting knows they are interested in moving forward with a possible dating situation. However, in recent years all dating sites have women in control - is this where this issue is stirring? Yet, the men decide whether they want to match with the women. A woman has to make the first move, which I thought was a good thing; however, over the years, I have felt that men need to have the option of taking the lead. There should be NO issues when taking dating situations offline to text or WhatsApp if it is mutual. Though there still is this theory. Let's face it; if you are interested in someone and want to meet in person instead of text dating, it takes coordination for both parties to feel comfortable. Sadly, almost all dating nowadays starts with a swipe or text. A simple text is tough enough when you are clueless about what you are getting into; then, being seen as crazy makes you even more hesitant to engage in the whole process. After all, if you can't handle a good text communication series, then he's/she's not worth your time. If they do not answer in a timely, respectful way - ditch them. Dating is hard enough when you are divorced - throw out the rules and theories and be true to yourself. Opinion: 3 text theories should be extinct.

This morning I felt myself at a loss for words upon finding out that multiple people in my world have been physically, mentally, or sexually abused by their husbands or wives. Though I’ve heard several stories over the years, I have been floored by some of the details of these situations. Questions that ponder: 1) How could the one you love beat you every day? 2) How could the one you love tell you; that you are not worthy of being anything? 3) How could anyone sexually assault their partner/s? 4) Finally, How do you get out? I quickly started seeking resources for this blog and from the folks that shared their detailed stories, and though some are on the other side of this, there is NEVER an appropriate time to abuse in any way ones that have cared for you and loved you. First, please know there is a lot of help out there. Try not to be scared and move on with your situation; get yourself to a safe place. Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233 or Text: START to 8878. There is abuse beyond what I have stated above, but no person or child should EVER be exposed to this behavior. The Domestic Hotline website is a vast resource for those going through many types of abuse. Please review their site here: https://www.thehotline.org. When ready, please, share your story so others can learn how there is life on the other side of abuse. Sending loving kindness to all you are experiencing this. Divorcee Dish

One of the hardest things you do as a divorcee is to feel overwhelming emotions at times that you just burst into tears. It could be about anything, `and I am human. It could be because I see a happy moment, and it's not said; it's just emotional. I am a Leo; I feel things deeply and passionately…again I am human. When you are post-divorce, you will meet a ton of new people. Some come and go, and some stay around for years. Life continues with girlfriends, boyfriends, new friends, etc., and you choose a new path and keep on. Though sometimes, you must create boundaries for yourself and others you meet along the way. It’s hard sometimes and tears your heart apart, but you know it's for the best. Boundaries are needed because you could overdo yourself and take yourself down – take it from me – I have done it and continue to do it. Again, Human. However, you need to pull yourself and re-access: 1) Take care of yourself and only yourself when you feel overwhelmed. 2) Find a way, to seek out help to get projects completed you just cannot get to. 3) Listen to your favorite tunes, and of course, dance like no one is watching 4) Set time for friends and make sure you know your limitations. 5) Do not overcommit; no is not a bad word at all; it is a boundary word. 6) Exercise for endorphins because that is time for you. 7) Read Set Boundaries and Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab – it’s a must. Take care of yourself the rest will be just fine. Cheers! Erin

We highly recommend that you hire a specialized attorney in advance of your divorce. Not only can this help you save money in the long run, but the details of your divorce will also be as precise as can be for both partners involved. As you get started, here is a list of questions you should ask: 1) What materials do I need to gather for our initial meeting? 2) What is the average cost of a divorce? 3) How will that work if my partner does not hire an attorney? 4) Can you inform me of my general legal rights? 5) Will we need a mediator? 6) Upon initial filing, what should I expect? 7) Does my spouse need to be served papers? 8) How do we decide who has the children and when? 9) How do we deviate from debts? 10) Who will keep the house? 11) Do We have a prenuptial agreement? How shall we handle this? 12) How long should we be legally separated before a divorce? 13) Is my state an "at fault" or "no-fault" state? What does that mean? 14) Will I qualify for alimony? These are just a few of the questions that jump-start the divorce process. We recommend you research more depending on your pre-divorce circumstances. Please message me with any questions.

As we enter Mother's Day, it is so crucial that you give yourself some credit where credit is due. You may be a single mother with no supporting partner or a single mother with an ex-partner; either way, you know that every day is a journey. Kids are on a fantastic journey, with many excellent and rough times. They test every piece of patience in our bones to our souls, which is super tricky, but you must maintain calm. Parenting is hard and even more complicated when trying to make decisions that affect all of the family or part of the family. You must stay strong during this period; you have to practice SELF-CARE. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is to walk away and rest. Reaccess how you do all of it daily. Then know that you are not alone; many parents need a better support system, friends, family, or other resources. It would be best to celebrate yourself and all you give daily. Treat yourself to some of your favorite activities not just on a day dedicated to Mother, but each day savor a moment that reminds you that you are strong and brave single or not. Take care of yourself, and you will be a much better parent in the long run. Question: What do you do to take care of yourself? If you can not answer this --- we need to work on it together.