When Your Ex Is Dating a Control Freak
- Erin Jones
- Oct 26
- 2 min read
Some of us are there, some of us have been there, and I have seen this situation waaaay too many times. It’s hard enough watching your ex move on. But when they start dating a control freak?
Oh, honey, that’s a whole new level of entertainment and concern.
Because while you’re over here breathing free air, healing, and rediscovering your peace, they’re diving headfirst into a relationship that feels more like a dictatorship.
All the signs are there; You know the type. The one who manages every detail. Checks phones, filters friendships, controls the narrative, and keeps tabs like it’s a full-time job. You can spot those types a mile away.
Suddenly, your ex isn’t showing up to mutual friend gatherings anymore. Their new partner comments on everything. It’s all a little too polished, a little too curated, like someone’s pulling the strings.
And there you are, sipping your coffee, watching it unfold, wondering, “Do they even realize what they’ve gotten themselves into?”
Let's say...It's not your circus anymore.
When your ex starts dating someone controlling, your instinct might be to feel sorry for them or even a little smug. (Both are valid, by the way.) But your real power move? Staying out of it.
Control freaks thrive on reaction. They love being compared, noticed, and validated. Please do not give them that satisfaction.
You have already lived the lesson they are about to learn that control is just insecurity dressed up as authority. And the only person you can ever truly control is yourself.
Watching this dynamic from the outside can actually be healing.
You start to realize how much calmer your life is without the constant tension or the need to walk on eggshells. You recognize your own growth that you no longer need to fix, rescue, or manage anyone else’s mess.
You see the chaos and feel nothing but gratitude that you’ve outgrown it.
Let them play their power games. You are headed or have found your peace. You do not need to expose, warn, or get involved. You just keep building your life, loving your freedom, and minding your own damn business.
Because the most significant flex isn’t revenge or gossip, it’s peace, boundaries, and a life that doesn’t need permission to shine.
So, when your ex dates a control freak, don’t worry. The universe has a way of teaching lessons we couldn’t, and you? You’ve already graduated.
