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If you're single, your dating options may be limited. You might live in a small town or work too much to meet people outside the office…or whatever. A million reasons. Perhaps you've tried online dating – for god’s sake, who hasn’t?! - but felt you need more. I get it, as does everyone else struggling with their “love life”(note the sarcastic clause quotes). So here are a few of my ideas for ways to tap into your local community if it seems like there aren't many single people around (and there are): 1) You're looking for someone to date but only have a few options? The problem is that your dating pool blows. Why? Because there aren't many people in it who are interested in you. The reasons: · They might be looking for something different than what you're offering (e.g., they are not interested in having kids) · They've already found someone who meets their needs better than you and would focus on that relationship instead of seeing another person to date when they're happy with the one they've got now (or vice versa). 2) The second reason your dating app options suck is that everyone else has already found someone, and those people might not even live nearby! You may also find yourself stuck between two groups: Those willing to meet up face-to-face right away vs. those who insist on keeping things strictly digital until later when things feel comfier and cozy between them both emotionally. 3) How to get over your dating app frustrations: When your dating pool options suck (I hate that word, but it works here, it's easy to get frustrated and want to throw in the towel. But if you take a break from the app and go out with friends or family, you'll find plenty of people who would love to meet someone like you. Yes, YOU. Plus, it'll help give you some perspective on what makes for a suitable date versus just having fun with someone who doesn't necessarily want something serious. If all else fails, try making some new friends instead of dating them right away--there's nothing wrong with being single! You might even discover that hanging out with others can be more fulfilling than trying to find a romantic partner at this point (or maybe it won't). Either way: don't give up hope just yet! Your assignment today: · Find a friend to go out with you · Go somewhere where you can meet people · Go somewhere you enjoy and feel comfortable, like an art museum or a bookstore. · Don't be afraid of rejection! If someone doesn't like you back, it's not the end of the world--they're not your type! Try again tomorrow with someone else who might appreciate what makes YOU so unique (and vice versa) Net net, getting out of your comfort zone can be challenging, especially when your dating life is going nowhere. But trust me, if you put yourself out there and go out more often, you will meet people looking for a relationship like yours! I have heard from friends that their experiences changed once they stopped focusing on online dating and started going out more often with friends or family members instead (or both). Until next time Dishers, Erin

It's all about attention, right? We crave it, we need it, and we want to feel understood by others, especially during a traumatic time such as a divorce. But what if no one is paying attention? This is a very frustrating problem, especially when the person who doesn't seem to care about you is the only person that matters (in your mind). You could write off this situation as trivial or meaningless, but there are profound psychological implications of being ignored. It's hard to be ignored & it's nearly impossible not to want to be validated by others. You're probably thinking, "This guy/girl is an idiot. I don't need validation." You don't need it? Really? Can you honestly say that you have never wanted to be validated, heard or understood? If so, then let me ask again: do you really not need validation? Because we all crave attention. Period. And when we don't get it from friends and family members who love us unconditionally (because they should), we look for other sources of attention like social media platforms where we can post pictures of ourselves looking good and getting lots of likes. Or maybe even Instagram, where our carefully crafted photos can get thousands of views in just one day. But be careful because that is NOT REAL LIFE. We want people to notice how great our lives are because they are extraordinary (or a mess, depending on the day), and if they don't, cut them out (it is too toxic). Some people think that they are so good at ignoring you, but they're being rude (i.e., assholes, bitches, or other words you may call people) If you feel someone ignores you and makes you uncomfortable, that's not their fault. They are just being inconsiderate. That's right! The person who doesn't show attention to others has no idea what they are doing and how it affects people around them. They consciously or unconsciously don't care about other people's feelings or needs because they're too busy thinking about themselves and what they want in life…which is fine. But not necessarily for you. When it comes down to basic human interaction with other humans (especially ones who have been around for longer than five minutes), there should be some common courtesy acknowledged by all parties involved so everyone feels respected and valued by each other. Ignoring another person isn't OK because “it happens all the time.” If someone ignores another person intentionally, then there should be consequences for such actions beyond just being called rude names online or having angry tweets directed towards them for days on end after an event where something happened between two people who barely knew each other existed, but still managed somehow over time through sheer coincidence alone - despite both parties never interacting again after this incident occurred - which would mean technically speaking if one were genuinely concerned with how others felt then wouldn't one seek out opportunities. Wordy, yes. Make sense? Yes. You deserve to feel understood. You have the right to be heard. You have the right to be understood, and you deserve to feel validated. You can ask questions and expect them to be answered honestly, or at least not with an excuse or a lie. You can say what you think and feel without being dismissed or judged as crazy or irrational (unless it's crazy or unreasonable). You can expect someone who cares for you to accept your quirks and embrace them as part of you (and they) are. When you're craving attention, it can feel like no one understands. But the truth is that we all have these moments. The key is learning how to cope with them healthily so they don't become a problem. You go, attention-getters! Erin Let's Dish: Don't worry about your craving for attention - write your fears down: Who and why have the people you are craving attention to ignore you? If they ignore you, in turn, ignore them back - think about what you can do instead of worrying about them not getting back to you.

Sex talk is never easy. But when you're ready to have sex, and you know it, you can't wait any longer. So here are some ways to help get it on: · Ensuring your partner is on board with the whole thing is essential if you're in a relationship. If they aren't, that's fine…you can still do it yourself (swear). But if they are, then get ready for some serious fun! · Ensure you have discussed what sex toys or accessories you want to use together so neither party feels their desires are being ignored or dismissed. · Discuss how often and how long each session should last; this will help keep things from getting boring or repetitive as time goes by (it's also helpful when deciding whether something needs replacing). · Agree upon rules regarding safe words/gestures/signals: some people prefer using signal lights instead of words because they feel less threatening; others may want something more explicit such as "red light" vs. "yellow light" vs. "green light." Whatever works best for both partners should be used here. Don’t forget about eye contact! When you're looking for sex, it can be hard to know where to start. Do you reach out to friends? Friends of friends? Strangers? Online dating apps? Hookup apps? Adult dating sites? Or maybe someone in your life has been flirting with you and making subtle advances in your relationship. Perhaps a coworker who wants more than just friendship but hasn't yet made their intentions known? Nevertheless, it doesn't matter what kind of relationship they have with you. If they're interested in having sex (or something else) with you, it will happen! Do you have a partner? · If you have a partner, have sex with them, end of story, period! · If not, it might be time for some introspection. You might be single because of your choice (you're busy with work or school) or because no one wants to spend time with you (maybe they think your personality is too much). But if neither of these things feels true for you, then it's time to start thinking about what else could be holding back your love life from being better than it is now. Try getting out more. Or even going on dates? When you want sex, there are many ways to get it. Be bold and ask a friend if they are up for it. Go to a bar and see if anyone strikes your fancy. Or maybe you've got an app on your phone where people post pictures of themselves in various stages of undress and invite strangers over for sex ((Tinder, Grindr, you name it…booty call central!). You could go to a sex club where tons of people are also looking for some action or even just one person. The possibilities are endless, but of course, this goes without saying, but I will anyway: stay safe and sound. Now that you know all the different ways to reach out for sex, it's time to go out there and make it happen! You don't need a partner or phone number; you only need yourself and an internet connection. So do what feels suitable for your body today and remember: Nobody else's opinion matters regarding what makes us feel good in bed. Get them! Erin

The first time I wrote a love letter, I was 14 years old. It was to my boyfriend at the time, it was giddy and fun, and we talked further. The words that came out of my mouth were trustworthy and honest, and he responded with a mixed tape! It was a great experience, and we remain friends to this day. So here I am 30 years later, writing this article about why you should write and share your love letters with people around you... even if they may never talk to you again or do not feel the same. And here’s the biggest question: How do you say I love you to someone in a letter? To write a love letter, you need to be honest. Be brave and put your heart on the page. Be yourself, even if it feels awkward or scary. The best way to tell someone how much you care about them is by being vulnerable and opening up about how they make you think whether joyous, sad, or somewhere in between. Love letters are a great way to express your feelings but can be scary and nerve-wracking. You may be worried about being vulnerable and being rejected. You might also be afraid that the other person will judge you or think less of you for saying what's in your heart. Another reason people are scared to share their feelings is that they don't know how to say what they want to say without coming across as cheesy or awkward…and this fear may lead him/her away from expressing themselves entirely and honestly. So…Have you written a love letter before? Do you remember how it felt to write that first draft and then give it to the person for whom it was intended? The excitement of sending your thoughts into the world is exhilarating. You feel vulnerable but also courageous in your vulnerability. But what if there's more than one person involved? How do you decide which person gets his/her letter and which one gets part of another (or even all)? And what happens when they both want their separate letters from you? Is this even possible? OMG, here we go: · What happened after you shared your feelings in the letter? · The person responded by saying they loved you too. · The person said they were happy to hear from you. · The person was surprised to hear from you.? · The person was angry that you wrote the letter, cut off contact with you, or didn't respond. (In my case, it caused the sounds of silence. Which is rude, out of character, and makes me think this person must be high or just downright disrespectful). · It's important to say what you mean, even if it feels scary. You don't have to worry about what will happen next or whether the other person will reject you. Love is worth the risk. · You may not know how they feel about you yet, but it doesn't matter: Your words mean so much regardless of what happens next. I hope this blog inspires you to write a love letter, no matter your fear or excitement. Your words mean so much to you AND the recipient, regardless of what happens next. From my experience long ago, II know it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It changed my life forever, not necessarily for the best, but by the reaction. For better or worse, go there; you'll know where you stand, whether you find happiness or disappointment. Xo, Erin

Sparks are the first signs of attraction and can be easily confused with love. Sparks fly when you meet someone truly compatible with you. Sparks fly when you feel like you've known them forever or when they remind you of someone else. Most people have experienced sparks at one point or another, but there's no way to predict whether those sparks will lead to a long-lasting relationship or fade away after a few weeks or months. When you meet someone, and it's like you've known them forever, your souls recognize each other. The feeling of recognition is so strong that it feels like you've learned this person your whole life. You feel like they understand everything about who you are and what makes sense to do in the world, no matter how crazy or out of the ordinary it might seem to others. When sparks fly between two people who aren't romantically involved (like friends or coworkers), there can be an intense desire for closeness between them--to be together all the time, maybe even move into a house together! This kind of closeness comes from having similar values or beliefs about life; sharing similar interests; liking each other's company so much that being apart feels wrong; being able to talk openly about anything without judgment from either side... You feel like you've known this person forever. It's a feeling that can't be explained, but it's there. You feel like you've known this person forever. You feel like they are easy to talk to, and they know exactly what to say when you need it most. It might be because they have a similar background or sense of humor as you do, but whatever the reason is, sparks will fly, and your relationship will take off like wildfire! It's a rush of adrenaline that comes from attraction. The feeling of attraction is a rush of adrenaline from your body's natural fight-or-flight response. It's the same reason you feel excited when you see a wild animal on the safari, but in this case, it's caused by another human being. When sparks fly: Your heart beats faster, and your stomach gets butterflies (or whatever animal metaphor you prefer). You start to feel happy and excited around them, even if they're not doing anything special! You get an urge to talk to them more often than usual because you want more time with them--and maybe even some alone time with them too! You know your other half is compatible with you when: You have a similar goal and vision for your future. If both partners work toward the same goals, that's a great start. Your values and beliefs align with each other's. It's essential to be on the same page about what you want out of life so that there aren't any surprises in store down the road! Both partners want the same things in life. If you have a deep connection with someone, you likely feel you can tell them anything. You might also feel like you have known them forever or that they are your best friend. You may even trust them completely--even though this is a new person in your life! This is because of how strong the connection between you is; it's almost like magic! If this sounds familiar, then congratulations: sparks are flying! When sparks fly between two people, they often say, "We just have so much in common!" or "I could talk to this person for hours!" This is because when we connect with someone on a deep level, we become closer as friends and partners; our lives become intertwined in ways that weren't possible before meeting each other. We hope you've found some insight into what it feels like to connect with someone. It's a fantastic feeling that can't be described with words alone, but we tried our best! If you want to know more about what sparks fly between two people, check out our blog post on telling if someone is attracted to you. May your connections spark a fire! Erin Time to Dish: Have you recently connected with someone? Is it like you have known them forever? How did you meet? Isn't it the best feeling in the world?

Dating is a strange experience. It can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and even disappointing. But the most important thing to remember when dating someone new is knowing what you want from your relationship. If you are still determining what you want, how will anyone else? Here are some things to consider before settling into another partnership: If you're trying to find out what kind of person you want, here are some things to think about: Loyalty and honesty. Your next partner should be someone who has your back and won't betray your trust. Shared values. You need a partner who shares some of the same values as you do--it's crucial to maintain a healthy relationship! Faithfulness (or lack thereof). Do they have an active sex life? Are they monogamous? Do they have a history of cheating on partners or being cheated on themselves? These questions can help determine whether someone suits you...or not! What qualities do you look for in a man or woman? Honest Fun Considerate Kind Intelligent and exciting to talk with, but not necessarily book smart (this is important). Loyal to family and friends, but not necessarily loyal only to one person consistently. You may be surprised to learn that most people are not emotionally available. They're often busy, stressed out, or just plain tired of being a grown-up. So, do you want someone to make time for you and listen without judging or criticizing? That's more challenging to find. And then there's communication: good communicators tend to be good listeners, too--but again, this is only sometimes true! Some people love talking about themselves but aren't interested in hearing what anyone else has to say; they might even get defensive when someone tries telling them something important about themselves (as if they don't already know). And while some people are great at communicating their feelings openly and honestly...others might have trouble saying precisely what they're thinking or feeling because it makes them feel vulnerable (which is normal). Do they need to have been married before? or not? If you have been married before, then your expectations are probably higher than if you haven't. You know what it feels like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't do everything you want them to do. You know how important honesty and trustworthiness are for a long-term partnership and are looking for someone who shares those values with you. If this is your first time around the block regarding relationships, your expectations aren't so high—or they are! Either way, it's safe to say that most people want kindhearted partners who will treat them well. Do they need to have kids or not? It's not a deal breaker, but it's a plus. Many people think having kids is one of the most essential things in a relationship. But if you don't have them yourself and your partner doesn't, it shouldn't be a problem! It may be an issue for some people. If you want children and your partner doesn't, this could be an issue for both of you--and vice versa! It depends on how strongly each person feels about the topic (and whether they're open to discussing it). It's important to know what you want in your next relationship. You don't want to waste time with someone who isn't going to fulfill your needs or make you happy. Take time and think about what qualities are most essential for you to be a partner. Then, find someone who matches those criteria! Happy searching, Erin Time to Dish: What are your standards? Do you make sure to stick to them? or do you settle? No one is perfect, are you able to look beyond the small things?

Being a single parent is a challenge, but it doesn't have to make you feel guilty or add to exhaustion. If you're looking for fun and easy ways to keep your child entertained without breaking the bank or wearing yourself out, check out these five activities that are just right. 1. Read a book together Reading a book is a great way to spend time with and bond with your kids. It's also an excellent activity for you to do by yourself, if you have some free time during the day or evening, as it can help pass the time. Reading together will help improve your child's reading skills by forcing them to pay attention and follow along as they read aloud together. The more often this happens, the better they'll get at it! 2. Build something together This could be as simple as building a fort in your backyard or as elaborate as a tree house that takes weeks of work and planning. If you're feeling ambitious, try making a model car or airplane with your child--it's great bonding time and can become something they cherish for years to come. 3. Take the dog for a walk to the park If you have a dog, they likely enjoy being outside and going on walks. So why not take them to the park? Many parks in your area allow dogs, so find one nearby and go there! The kids will also love seeing other people with their pets (and maybe even get some ideas for their next pet). If you haven't taken your kids to a dog park yet, this is also an option-- make sure there are no signs saying "no children allowed" before entering. 4. Plan a picnic at home, make sandwiches, pick a healthy side, and sneak in a surprise. Sandwiches are an excellent choice for a picnic at home. They're easy to make and can be healthy, too! Use different breads and fillings, or add some fruit to make it more nutritious. You can make sandwiches fun for kids by adding different spreads or toppings--like peanut butter, jelly, mayonnaise (which might not be very healthy), mustard--whatever your kids like best! 5. Play games like UNO or Scrabble together UNO is a card game that can be played with younger kids, while Scrabble is a board game that can be played with older children. Both games are relatively easy to learn but require some strategy and thoughtfulness. You'll want to choose the correct version of your chosen game for the ages of your kids: if you have younger ones who have trouble reading, stick with UNO; if you have older ones who can read well and understand abstract concepts like "X" or "Y," then go ahead and try out Scrabble! This article has encouraged you to get out and do something with your kids. It doesn't have to be complicated or expensive; make sure you spend time together as a family! Cheers, Erin Time to Dish: What are some light and easy activities you play with your kids? When they ask for you to entertain them, how do you react? What are you feeling when it’s that time to stop and focus on your kiddos?

Divorce is a term thrown around lightly, and it can be frustrating if you don't feel like you're in a situation where you should be divorced. However, being a divorcee has some perks that no one ever tells you about, such as: Divorcees have more downtime. You are not responsible for anyone else except you (and your kids, if you’re a parent). You have more time to do the things that you enjoy. You have more time to do the things that you want to do. You can date as many people as you want! And without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings. You can be more open about what you want, don't like, and what you're looking for in a partner. Dating for fun is different than dating to have children. But here’s a reality check: If you're a single parent, it's easy to feel pressure from your partner or other people to settle down and start a family. If you're not ready yet or don't want kids, this kind of pressure can be frustrating and even emotionally draining. You must know what you want before committing yourself fully; otherwise, it can lead to resentment in your relationship. Also, now that you’re single you have more time on their hands than married couples do as you don't have children or partners who need attention 24/7! This means that singles can date as many people as they like without feeling guilty about spending time apart from their significant others (or lack thereof). Single people also tend to be more selective when choosing potential mates because there aren't any kids involved yet, so if something doesn't feel right during the first few dates, no worries! You're free, free falling. Free yourself from worry and meet new people. Divorced people have a lot of freedom and flexibility, which allows them to do things that married people might not be able to. For example, go ahead if you're divorced and want to vacation with your best friend for two weeks in Europe or Asia! You don't have kids at home that need your attention 24/7 when you have joint custody. If your ex is on board with it and wants time off from parenting, go ahead! Some divorcees also don't have any worries about having kids together anymore. They've already split up, so there's no chance of having another child together. Period. Remind yourself that being single is a good thing. It's easy to forget that being single is a good thing. You might have been in a relationship for a long time and had gotten used to having someone around, but now that they're gone, you have time. Single people are also more likely to do things they want because they don't have anyone else with an opinion about it (or at least not as much). If two people were deciding where we wanted dinner or what movie we should watch, there would always be disagreements about where/what we should do. As a result of this lack of decision-making power, many divorced people decide that they need more skills so that when their next relationship comes along (or even if it doesn't), they can bring something valuable with them into the new partnership. Meeting new people isn't scary. When there isn't another person, depending on whether this new friend becomes part of your life, you can go out and meet some folks without worrying about whether they will like them enough for all parties involved! Divorcees should remember that they are free to do as they please. They can date whomever they want, go on trips whenever they want, and even sleep with whomever they want. It's a great feeling to know that no one will judge you for being single because it means there is more time for fun! Enjoy yourselves, Erin

I know from experience that letting go of a toxic relationship is not easy. I've been there and know how hard it can be to realize that you're better off without someone who doesn't deserve your love. But here's the thing: if you let yourself regret ending something terrible, you give them power over your life. And that's just not fair or healthy for anyone. So instead of looking back with regret (and wishing things had been different), let yourself celebrate how much healthier and happier you feel now that you're away from an unhealthy relationship or situation. Here’s how: Have zero regrets about your divorce. Divorce can be a good thing in most circumstances. It's not the end of your life, and it certainly won't be an easy process, but it will make you happier in the long run. You'll be able to move on and may find someone better suited for you than your ex-spouse. Your kids will also benefit from having their family shaken up because they can finally get the attention they need from both parents instead of just one parent all the time (or none). So, from where I’m standing, there are no regrets associated with divorce. Have no regrets about ending toxic relationships. I’m not saying you should make a hasty decision to end a relationship, but once you have decided and broken it off, ditch any regrets. When we are in toxic relationships, we often think back on how good things used to be when we were happy together. We think about what could have been if this person or I had changed... but now it's too late! And yet, sometimes those thoughts lead us down paths of regret: "I wish I hadn't ended things with him/her." "What if he/she comes back?" "Maybe things would be different now?" It's important not to let yourself get caught up in these thoughts because they will keep your heart open for more hurt and pain by reminding yourself just how badly things went down. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the past, forgive yourself for your mistakes, forgive yourself for your failures and insecurities. Forgive yourself for your fears and shortcomings. You are human and will make mistakes, but that doesn't mean you're a failure or worthless person because of them. Be kind. Please be sure to practice kindness towards yourself. Kindness is the practice of treating others well, but it can also be a powerful tool for self-care. We feel better about ourselves and our circumstances when we treat ourselves with kindness and respect. This leads to improved health, happiness, and productivity in all areas of life. And, of course, practice kindness towards others: Make time for people who make you happy; give compliments freely; help those in need; ask "How are you?" not "What do you want?". Time to Dish: 1) Do you feel regret? If so, why? 2) Do you want to feel better about a past or current situation? How will you help yourself do this? 3) Do you practice kindness towards others and yourself? 4) What is making you the happiest right now? Until next time, treat yourself well with no regrets, Erin

*sigh*I remember my first Father's Day as a newly single dad. It was roughly two months into things as our separation/divorce happened in April of the same year. I went back and tried to remember what I did on Father's Day because I would have taken a picture of some kind, but I didn't. I have no history of that first Father's Day as a single dad. What I can tell you that I remember is how I felt. It was my first Father's Day with two kids, and I remember feeling empty, ashamed, and honestly blaming myself for a situation I did not cause. I also remember feeling so alone. It felt weird waking up knowing that part of this day, celebrating with the person who made you a father, was gone. It's a harsh yet needed realization. Alas, these feelings don't last forever. You begin to embrace your new routine and get used to it, and it's an even more special day cause you figure out how to celebrate it and maximize that time with your kids. You adapt, overcome and learn that it's no different, it's even slightly better than before. I know it can be better than before, even with all the feelings of emptiness, regret, and weirdness that the day now presents. You have to remember to have fun during the chaos. Yes, your situation is yours; it's not like anyone else's, but take the day to forget about the stress, the baby mama drama, work, and all the things that weigh on your shoulders regularly. Take a load off, and have fun. Enjoy the day, enjoy your kids, and enjoy being celebrated! So how can you celebrate Father's Day as a newly single dad, or you're in a place you're still not used to, or you're just a single dad fresh out of ideas and ways to celebrate? Go to church; if you have a relationship with a higher power, why not develop that relationship with your kids? Take yourself out to a meal. Go to your and your kid's favorite restaurant/food truck. Or cook your favorite meal with your kids and show them that Dad knows how to cook. Take yourself and the kids to the park, pool, rec center, or whatever place has something for the kids to do and you to sit and watch them play. Find a local Father's Dad event in your community and show up and attend. If you can host a Father's Day BBQ with your dad's friends, Dress up in your best dad fits, and look fabulous while doing it. Take a day trip, head to a new place, a new hike, go cave exploring, get out into nature, and disconnect for the day. Go to a sporting event. We are now into the dog days of summer, which means plenty of MLB, MiLB (Minor League Baseball), Collegiate Summer, Independent, and almost every level of baseball fully available to you. Visit my friends at https://www.baseballmapper.com/ to find a team and a game in your local area. Well, there you have it, eight things you can do or try this Father's Day as you rock the Single Dad socks! You got this; enjoy the day, and embrace the chaos. Remember, come what may, and love it! Your story is not over. Thanks for reading; if you like what you read today, head to www.ballboyblog.com and check out all of Jey's writings and creations. Follow him on I.G./Facebook, Ball Boy Blog, and Young Dad Podcast.

Written by Jey Young As a single parent, you learn to change, overcome and adapt to your new life as a single mom/dad. For single dads, there is a huge learning curve to navigating the uncharted "single dad sea." I have been divorced and navigating this sea for over two years, and the roughest waters are behind me, and it's more or less smooth sailing ahead. The waters, honestly, looking back, weren't that scary, but did they feel like I was sailing through a stage 7 hurricane, which for reference, "A storm of this magnitude would most likely have winds between 215 and 245 mph, with a minimum pressure between 820-845 millibars”. That is precisely how it feels. This brings me to how you go from 245 mph winds to being on the other side of it and enjoying a cool breeze that gently pushes your sail forward. How about a few things I did, and you can go from there? 1) Embrace the quiet. Seriously, the calm is going to be hard at first. For me, the silence was deafening and was a reminder of what was, not what could be. Once you embrace the silence, lean into it by using that new time for self-care: gym, writing, gaming, hiking, camping. Really, do something you love and enjoy and find yourself again through the silence. Remember, an empty cup can't pour into any other cup. If you are making excuses and not putting effort into filling your cup, you will struggle immensely. 2) Get your crap together. No, seriously, get yourself together mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. With an intentional focus on mind/body/soul, you become that best version of yourself. Some simple places to start are S.M.A.R.T. goals, small steps, planning, proactive vs. reactive, going to therapy, and assessing every aspect of your life. 3) Get over yourself. I know, rude. Now think about this, stop thinking about yourself, and remember what's important: your kids and their health, safety, and well-being. Stop making mountains out of molehills because I promise that brings nothing but heartache. Sidebar here: please, don't join a dad's group on Facebook to bash your ex. What purpose does that serve? Remember, friend, it's not about winning. It's about creating a stable, reliable, and positive future for your children. Don't make your kids either be motherless/fatherless because you want to prove a point or get even. 4) Let it go. I mean not to tell Alexa to play this song on repeat. You have probably heard it enough on the T.V., especially my girl's dads know what's up. Of course, letting go is easier said than done, and I will be the first to admit how difficult it is. However, why would you keep giving a crap when you could give a crap about literally anything else that is more important and self-serving. It's easier said than done, so let me give you a concept to try. I call it to bless and release. When you go through that old box or "that stuff," you say, "I bless and release *item*, and then you simply throw it away.” The next concept is similar to going on a hike or down to a body of water or making paper airplanes. You write down what you want to let go of the item, and then you throw it, far and hard. 5) Forgive yourself, those who hurt you, and then yourself some more. Truly forgive and let go of the hate, the hurt, the ill feelings, and all that pain you're holding on to. God or the Universe, whatever you believe in, wants to give you something better than what you had; there is more in store for you. But you have to open and have your heart, mind, and soul ready for what's to come. A parting thought here, a wise friend of mine uses an analogy where your life is like a board with a bunch of holes, and each of those holes has a stopper or peg in it to close it up. You must be willing to pull the old peg or pegs out to let the River of Goodness and blessing run through it and connect to the Single Dad Sea so you can put the newer, better pegs in all those places. Your story is not over. Thanks for reading; if you like what you read today, head to www.ballboyblog.com and check out all of Jey's writings and creations. Follow him on Instagram, Facebook, Ball Boy Blog, and Young Dad Podcast. Also, now you can enjoy my new book, A Baseball Game with Dad! find it on Amazon. And Happy Father’s Day!

Dramarama. Drama is not a good thing. Avoid it at all costs, especially if you're in a relationship. Drama can cause arguments and breakups, which is nothing anyone wants. Drama can be caused by over-texting and constant questioning of the relationship. If your partner (or you) texts too much or asks too many questions about where your relationship is going, it can lead to unnecessary conflict between you that could have been avoided had they just stopped texting so much (or at all). No one wants drama in their relationships. Drama is a sign of insecurity, immaturity, and poor communication skills. If you find yourself involved in drama, it's likely because you lack confidence or have trouble communicating with your partner(s). So, if you're experiencing relationship drama, take some time to reflect on what has happened in your relationship lately. Ask yourself: Is there something that needs to be addressed? Are there areas where improvement could be made? Do both parties feel respected and heard by each other? Do they feel like they have enough alone time together or with friends/family on their terms, not because one person feels pressured by another into doing so (which would indicate an imbalance between independence vs. interdependence)? These questions can help identify potential issues before they become serious problems later. Ultimately, the best way to avoid drama is by being honest and upfront with your partner. If you have something to say, then say it in person. Always be open-minded and listen carefully when your partner has something meaningful on their mind; if they keep asking the same questions, please note they are not hearing what they want, so that they may bug you; please do not cave, be honest. Neediness. Neediness is a form of insecurity. You're scared to lose the person you love and are trying to convince them that you are worth keeping around. This can be done through gifts, compliments, and other gestures to show your partner how much they mean to you. However, it also comes with its own set of problems: · Neediness makes your partner feel guilty for not giving enough back in return or making them feel like they have failed at being a good partner if they don't do something special for you as well (which only perpetuates this cycle). · When someone feels needed by another person too much, it can make them feel like their self-worth depends on what their partner thinks about them, which isn't unhealthy. Over-texting For God’s sake, put the phone down because being a text freak is a sure sign of insecurity. However (and I mean a big however), it can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. If you over-text your partner because they want more attention than they give you, it’s a good sign that they care about you and want to stay connected. But this could be an issue if they're insecure and need constant reassurance that the relationship is delicate. It might even mean that there are other problems in the relationship that need addressing before things get too serious between the two of you. Constant questioning of the relationship. It would be best if you were asked questions about your relationship. It's normal, and it's good to know that you have someone who cares enough about you to ask these questions. But there are ways of asking that are better than others. The best way to get answers is in person--and this goes both ways: if he/she is questioning whether they want to be with you, they should be able to answer those questions in person as well. If they can't do that, maybe it isn't worth being with them anymore. It can also be helpful for everyone involved if both parties have some time in between when one person asks their question and when another responds with theirs; it gives each party time (and space), so they're not always on edge waiting for an answer from their partner every day or every hour on the hour! And no matter how much we love our phones, texting isn't ideal for communicating essential details like "I think maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore" or "I'm getting bored/lonely/feel trapped by this relationship." Stay strong, Erin