Do friends forget about you after your divorce?
You've gone through a divorce either recently or years ago and are feeling distant from the social world. The first few months are rough, but eventually, you get used to the idea that your life has changed forever. But then something happens; some of your friends seem to need to remember you regarding social events.
Say, you last got invited to a party months ago. You should be asked to parties, even if it’s a couple's event. You should be invited to family gatherings, and you should be invited to social events and get-togethers. If you last asked months or even years ago, it may be time for a conversation with the person hosting (or planning) the event.
If this is a friend or coworker who has forgotten about you, ask them why they haven't included you lately--and allow them to make amends by inviting you next time!
Your friends are no longer interested in your life. This may hurt you a little, but it's a good thing! When you were married and had kids, you were part of their family--your divorce is not their problem. They don't want to hear about your ex-partner or what happened between you; they want their friend back.
Your friends don't want to get involved in your divorce, and they don't want to be seen as taking sides and fear that saying the wrong thing could cause them more problems.
Maybe they forgot that you're still around after your divorce (this my sound silly, however it happens). Perhaps they forgot that you're still around after your divorce. Maybe they're so used to seeing you as part of a couple that it doesn't occur to them that you might still be single.
You are still the same person; however, when your life changes so dramatically, you move, or you are not running in the same group, it may be helpful to remind them by letting them know how happy you are now and how much better life is for everyone since the divorce.
Don't let them forget! Remember that you still have feelings and needs, even after your divorce. If someone forgets about you or doesn't invite you to something because they think it might be awkward, tell them how much it hurts. If they still don't care, then it's time for some new friends who do.
If you have experienced this, please share your story and solutions.
Because we still like to be invited :)!
Erin