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Written by Jey Young As a single parent, you learn to change, overcome and adapt to your new life as a single mom/dad. For single dads, there is a huge learning curve to navigating the uncharted "single dad sea." I have been divorced and navigating this sea for over two years, and the roughest waters are behind me, and it's more or less smooth sailing ahead. The waters, honestly, looking back, weren't that scary, but did they feel like I was sailing through a stage 7 hurricane, which for reference, "A storm of this magnitude would most likely have winds between 215 and 245 mph, with a minimum pressure between 820-845 millibars”. That is precisely how it feels. This brings me to how you go from 245 mph winds to being on the other side of it and enjoying a cool breeze that gently pushes your sail forward. How about a few things I did, and you can go from there? 1) Embrace the quiet. Seriously, the calm is going to be hard at first. For me, the silence was deafening and was a reminder of what was, not what could be. Once you embrace the silence, lean into it by using that new time for self-care: gym, writing, gaming, hiking, camping. Really, do something you love and enjoy and find yourself again through the silence. Remember, an empty cup can't pour into any other cup. If you are making excuses and not putting effort into filling your cup, you will struggle immensely. 2) Get your crap together. No, seriously, get yourself together mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. With an intentional focus on mind/body/soul, you become that best version of yourself. Some simple places to start are S.M.A.R.T. goals, small steps, planning, proactive vs. reactive, going to therapy, and assessing every aspect of your life. 3) Get over yourself. I know, rude. Now think about this, stop thinking about yourself, and remember what's important: your kids and their health, safety, and well-being. Stop making mountains out of molehills because I promise that brings nothing but heartache. Sidebar here: please, don't join a dad's group on Facebook to bash your ex. What purpose does that serve? Remember, friend, it's not about winning. It's about creating a stable, reliable, and positive future for your children. Don't make your kids either be motherless/fatherless because you want to prove a point or get even. 4) Let it go. I mean not to tell Alexa to play this song on repeat. You have probably heard it enough on the T.V., especially my girl's dads know what's up. Of course, letting go is easier said than done, and I will be the first to admit how difficult it is. However, why would you keep giving a crap when you could give a crap about literally anything else that is more important and self-serving. It's easier said than done, so let me give you a concept to try. I call it to bless and release. When you go through that old box or "that stuff," you say, "I bless and release *item*, and then you simply throw it away.” The next concept is similar to going on a hike or down to a body of water or making paper airplanes. You write down what you want to let go of the item, and then you throw it, far and hard. 5) Forgive yourself, those who hurt you, and then yourself some more. Truly forgive and let go of the hate, the hurt, the ill feelings, and all that pain you're holding on to. God or the Universe, whatever you believe in, wants to give you something better than what you had; there is more in store for you. But you have to open and have your heart, mind, and soul ready for what's to come. A parting thought here, a wise friend of mine uses an analogy where your life is like a board with a bunch of holes, and each of those holes has a stopper or peg in it to close it up. You must be willing to pull the old peg or pegs out to let the River of Goodness and blessing run through it and connect to the Single Dad Sea so you can put the newer, better pegs in all those places. Your story is not over. Thanks for reading; if you like what you read today, head to www.ballboyblog.com and check out all of Jey's writings and creations. Follow him on Instagram, Facebook, Ball Boy Blog, and Young Dad Podcast. Also, now you can enjoy my new book, A Baseball Game with Dad! find it on Amazon. And Happy Father’s Day!

Dramarama. Drama is not a good thing. Avoid it at all costs, especially if you're in a relationship. Drama can cause arguments and breakups, which is nothing anyone wants. Drama can be caused by over-texting and constant questioning of the relationship. If your partner (or you) texts too much or asks too many questions about where your relationship is going, it can lead to unnecessary conflict between you that could have been avoided had they just stopped texting so much (or at all). No one wants drama in their relationships. Drama is a sign of insecurity, immaturity, and poor communication skills. If you find yourself involved in drama, it's likely because you lack confidence or have trouble communicating with your partner(s). So, if you're experiencing relationship drama, take some time to reflect on what has happened in your relationship lately. Ask yourself: Is there something that needs to be addressed? Are there areas where improvement could be made? Do both parties feel respected and heard by each other? Do they feel like they have enough alone time together or with friends/family on their terms, not because one person feels pressured by another into doing so (which would indicate an imbalance between independence vs. interdependence)? These questions can help identify potential issues before they become serious problems later. Ultimately, the best way to avoid drama is by being honest and upfront with your partner. If you have something to say, then say it in person. Always be open-minded and listen carefully when your partner has something meaningful on their mind; if they keep asking the same questions, please note they are not hearing what they want, so that they may bug you; please do not cave, be honest. Neediness. Neediness is a form of insecurity. You're scared to lose the person you love and are trying to convince them that you are worth keeping around. This can be done through gifts, compliments, and other gestures to show your partner how much they mean to you. However, it also comes with its own set of problems: · Neediness makes your partner feel guilty for not giving enough back in return or making them feel like they have failed at being a good partner if they don't do something special for you as well (which only perpetuates this cycle). · When someone feels needed by another person too much, it can make them feel like their self-worth depends on what their partner thinks about them, which isn't unhealthy. Over-texting For God’s sake, put the phone down because being a text freak is a sure sign of insecurity. However (and I mean a big however), it can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. If you over-text your partner because they want more attention than they give you, it’s a good sign that they care about you and want to stay connected. But this could be an issue if they're insecure and need constant reassurance that the relationship is delicate. It might even mean that there are other problems in the relationship that need addressing before things get too serious between the two of you. Constant questioning of the relationship. It would be best if you were asked questions about your relationship. It's normal, and it's good to know that you have someone who cares enough about you to ask these questions. But there are ways of asking that are better than others. The best way to get answers is in person--and this goes both ways: if he/she is questioning whether they want to be with you, they should be able to answer those questions in person as well. If they can't do that, maybe it isn't worth being with them anymore. It can also be helpful for everyone involved if both parties have some time in between when one person asks their question and when another responds with theirs; it gives each party time (and space), so they're not always on edge waiting for an answer from their partner every day or every hour on the hour! And no matter how much we love our phones, texting isn't ideal for communicating essential details like "I think maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore" or "I'm getting bored/lonely/feel trapped by this relationship." Stay strong, Erin

Divorce is always an adventure (the understatement of the century). There are many reasons a couple divorces & by no means is it an enjoyable experience. But then we move on. Divorced women want to be loved and cherished again like anyone else. The most crucial thing divorced women need from their perspective or next significant other is respect. And gentlemen & ladies, you can give it to us by treating us like the unique humans we are! One of the biggest things women want from their new relationships is to feel important in their new person's life. We hope our new crush/lover/partner will drop everything for us, and they want you to make them feel like they are your priority over anything else. If a woman feels like she needs to be in the top spot on your priority list, she'll start questioning whether she should stay with you. This can lead to problems if left unresolved early in your relationship, so ensure this issue is resolved. Divorced women must also remember - and be reminded - that they are strong and can do anything they set their minds to. They need someone to be there for them as they go through their struggles instead of running away at the first sign of trouble. A man or woman willing to be supportive, encouraging, and understanding will find themselves a loyal partner who loves them unconditionally. Divorced women often feel like they have nothing left in their lives; therefore, you must give her something new: HOPE! Laughter is a must. You are going to have fun with this woman. She wants to laugh and have fun, too. She wants you to make her laugh, but she also wants to make you smile and feel good about yourself. She will do this by making you feel like the only person in the world who always matters during your relationship. This is especially true if you're dating a divorced woman who has kids from her previous marriage because she'll likely have been through some rough stuff: either with her ex-husband or, in general, after the divorce took place. You must help her feel secure in herself so she has no lingering feelings of insecurity. A divorced woman wants to be able to count on you. You can be that man (or woman) for her. You need to know what she needs from you and how best to provide it. Here are two of the most essential things divorced women look for in their new relationships: Trust - This means not only being honest but also reliable and consistent. If she asks you for something, do it as soon as possible without making excuses or putting off the task until later (and then forgetting...major buzz kill). Honesty - Divorced women typically had enough lies from their exes, so they don't want any more from the men in their lives now! If something bothers your partner or makes them unhappy, tell them immediately so they don't find out through another source later, which could hurt even more than if someone - ready, you - had just told them immediately. Being upfront about everything will help create trust between both parties involved to build stronger bonds between each other over time. Here's a big one: divorced women want a partner with an active sex life. They don't want a man who is afraid of intimacy and will run away from her if things get too serious in their minds. Women don't want a man fearful of sex and think it's okay to masturbate instead of being intimate with his wife or girlfriend. And most importantly, divorced women don't want you to be afraid of being sexual in public! They aren't looking for someone who has lots of rules about when/where/how often we should have sex because those rules only serve as walls between two people that are supposed to be connecting on an emotional level as well as physically) And finally, divorced women want a man who respects himself, his family, and you and your family. He should also respect your past relationships - including their outcomes - and don't try to make you feel guilty for them or change who you are because of what happened in them. Instead, he should learn from them so that if/when you get married again, it will be better than anything else for either of you! So, what do you need to know about divorced women? They love giving much and are looking for someone who will appreciate that. If you can make her laugh, protect her from harm and protect her family, then it's likely that she will fall in love with you. Find the love you want and need! Erin

We all want to be loved. We all want to love and be loved in return. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. And IMO, there’s nothing more satisfying than a healthy relationship with someone who cares deeply for you. But if you’ve been having trouble finding this type of love, or even if you think that no one will ever be right for you, I'm here to tell you that it's not true! You can find true love, and I will tell you some of the reasons you’re feeling the way you are, but at the end of the day, why L-O-V-E is worth it. You feel no one will ever be the right person for you. You are not alone; trust me on this one. You will find the right person because I firmly believe there is someone for everyone, even if it doesn't initially seem like it. If your current “love life” situation feels hopeless or impossible, it’s probably because the guy/girl you’re with isn’t a good fit. And If you're having trouble believing that there could be someone out there who would love you just as much as you love them (or more), take a moment to think about other things in your life that have been hard and have turned out well despite those challenges. When you love, and you cannot find anyone. Again, you're not alone. So many people feel the same way, and you are not to blame. But do not give up on love! Keep trying and searching until you find someone who thinks as you do. Someone willing to fight through all the hardships with you and make your dreams come true. They do exist. When you love, and they are clueless. As if! The world is not filled with men/women (OK, sillies😆) who can’t read relationship vibe signals. Trust me, there is someone out there for you, someone you can be happy with, and they will be pleased with you too. You deserve to be loved by someone who will treat you well, respect your feelings and give back what they receive from the relationship. If this person isn't showing up in your life right now, don't worry; maybe it's time for something different. Perhaps it's time for some space so that when the right person does come along, all those old feelings won't blindside you again. Sounds reasonable, right? You can also find happiness without another person being involved at all! We spend so much time searching for our soulmates, but sometimes we need to learn how to be our soulmates before we can truly understand what makes us happy or unhappy within ourselves, leading me to my next point... Love IS worth it. If you're in the process of giving up on love, take a deep breath and remember that it's worth it. That may sound sappy, but it’s true pinky swear! You will find love when you stop – yes, STOP - looking for it. Love is not a competition. Everyone has their timing, so don't worry if other people are having relationships while you aren't. Love is also worth it because there is nothing better than feeling connected with another person in such an intimate way that your hearts beat as one (another cliché but very true). However, this feeling cannot be forced or rushed into happening before its time and not to be a total downer, but it may never come. But that’s OK, too, because when you love yourself and have family and friends surrounding you, you’ll never be alone. There will always be moments when we question whether our feelings are reciprocated or whether our partner cares about us as much as we do them. But what matters most is recognizing how lucky we are to have found someone who wants nothing more than to spend time with us! Love is all we all need, Erin Time to Dish · When you love, and you cannot find anyone. · When you love, and they are clueless. · When you feel like no one loves you - that is a good person.

Does anyone know why some men insist on showing men show their ‘fish’ on dating profiles? So, you're on Tinder, Bumble, Match, Stir or any other dating app looking for love and perhaps a catch. Let’s start with the ladies’ profiles. You've swiped right on someone who looks like a potential match, but then you notice that she needs a profile picture, or it could be better at showing her attractiveness. Her “bait.” But wait: There’s a pic of her in her underwear, so there's hope! She might have something else to show off that makes her even more attractive than what appears at first sight, wink wink. But more often than not, this doesn’t even come close to what the guys do. I’m trying to wrap my head around the reasons so many men show their fish on dating profiles, even though most women – yours truly included - don't care about the size of their man's fish (or whatever else they may have to offer genetically) if he has a brain in his head and shows us some respect. So, what does make a man proud of his, ahem, “Moby Dick”? The answer is simple: they think this will attract women. But here’s what gets me: it works A LOT of the time. Women are not more likely to respond to profiles that show off that endowment, even though there's no evidence that men with big fish are any better than those without them. Why? Because we live in a culture where men feel entitled to have whatever they want, and when it comes to attracting women (or men if that’s their bias), so be it! “Hey, look what I’ve got, baby…you know you want it.” What do women care about when looking for true partners? Personality and character traits like honesty, kindness, and respectfulness matter most. But let’s be honest: In some cases, size does matter to many women. But guys, don't worry. If you've got the personality part down pat but need more confidence around fishing rods or reels, we can help you with that too! So, do most women care about the size of a man's parts? The answer is no, but only to a point. Women are more interested in a man's heart size than his penis. However, that doesn't mean a guy has to be dishonest about his financial situation when dating online. If he has nothing to offer her except a body and its sexual prowess, she will likely move on quickly once she discovers that there isn't much besides potential one-off relations. Suppose she knows from the get-go that she can rely on her partner for financial stability and security. In that case, it will make her feel secure in knowing that both parties are working together towards achieving mutual goals instead of just trying to get something out of each other without giving anything back in return - which leads us to my next point: When a man shows off his giant fish, he's probably trying to compensate for something. You know how sometimes, when someone tells another person something embarrassing about themselves (like having an STD), they feel better afterward? That's like what happens here: guys with smaller penises will brag about how big their catch is to make themselves feel better about being small downstairs. Many dudes might be showing their big fish for several reasons, but the most common is insecurity. If he has a small penis, he may think you’ll think he’s not good enough in bed. Or if some other aspect of life has shaken his confidence as a man, he may be trying to compensate for something else with this display of his giant redwood. Big fish photos are a big-time red light and a sign of immaturity and lack of confidence in self-worth, which can be a deal breaker for women looking to date someone who will treat them well in the long term (not just one night). So, what does it all mean? We hope all of you will take our advice and keep your big fish where it belongs: in your pants. It's not that we think you should lie about it or hide it from your partner, but rather that you should be aware of its meaning and how it affects others. If you're super proud of your schlong, some deeper issues might be at play here, so please make sure those are addressed before showing off this symbol of masculinity! Have a “whopper” of a day 😆 Erin Time to Dish: Have you swiped right on someone only to notice seconds later a "fish" photo? Did you date them? Did they talk about how much they love to fish?

For LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/or questioning, intersex, asexual, and others) individuals and couples, the path to marriage and divorce are not easy and is often way less clear than it is for heterosexual women and men. The main reason is that many states still do not recognize same-sex marriages or civil unions, making filing for a separation or legal divorce as complicated as their marital status, the law of the land. Additionally, some U.S. states define what constitutes a legal marriage yet have no formal procedure for dissolving a same-sex union. Add to those that most states don't have laws explicitly addressing how property should be divided in cases where one spouse wants out of a marriage, but the other doesn't want to end things legally. E.g., one partner wants alimony or spousal support but can't get that from his/her ex because they weren't married long enough before getting divorced. Let’s face it, legal mumbo jumbo for our LGBTQIA+ sisters and brothers. A closer look: A brief history of same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage has been a hot topic, political issue for decades, but the Supreme Court's ruling in 2015 made it legal nationwide. Before that decision was made during the Obama administration, many states legalized same-sex marriage for their citizens, while others did not. Today, all 50 United States are mandated to recognize same-sex marriages in all shapes and territories (including Puerto Rico); however, not all do (more on that in a bit). Marriage equality in the United States. · If you're gay and married or are in the process of getting divorced, you must know your rights as an LGBTQIA+ person. The following information is provided for those wanting to learn more about marriage equality in America from The Human Rights Campaign. · Marriage equality in the United States was first legalized by the Supreme Court when they ruled that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry on June 26, 2015. This decision established that all 50 states must recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states or countries where it is legal (like Canada). · Currently, 15 other global nations allow same-sex marriage: Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Denmark, Finland, France, Iceland, Ireland, New Zealand, Portugal, Scotland, Slovenia, and South Africa. · You may have heard of marriage and civil unions, but what's the difference? Marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman. Civil unions are like marriages, except they are between two people of the same sex. What happens if your state doesn't recognize gay marriage? · If you're in a same-sex marriage, and even though the landmark 2015 Supreme Court ruling made it the law of the land, there are still 13 states in which it has not been actually legalized: Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, Tennessee, and Texas. · If you reside in a state that does not recognize gay marriage, several options are still available. You can file for divorce in any form (as long as it's legal). You could also file for divorce in your home state (or the original state of your nuptials) to keep things easy for everyone involved. · Additionally, if one partner has moved out of her/his state of residence after getting married and then moves back into the original shape where they were born or raised before moving out again, it’s considered a "domicile." In other words: If a person lived somewhere else for a while but returned home because they wanted to be closer in proximity to their children and then got married while living there, this would count as having established residency in both places over time (even though technically there was only one marriage). How do you get divorced if there are no statewide guidelines? · The process can be complicated if you and your partner are in a state that doesn't have LGBTQIA+ divorce laws. Although it's essential to understand your state's laws, it's also crucial to know that some states have different rules for gay couples than straight couples. · There are no national guidelines or rules for LGBTQIA+ divorce because each state has its own set of rules surrounding these situations, and sometimes those rules vary from one city or county within the same form. No one ever said marriage – or in this case, divorce – is easy, right? When is it time to file for divorce? If you are in a same-sex marriage, civil union, or domestic partnership, and your state doesn't recognize the union, you can file for divorce if: · Your spouse has been missing for at least three months. · Your spouse abandoned the family home without the intention of returning (or left because of abuse). How should property and assets be divided? The first step to dividing your property is to create a list of everything you own. This includes real estate, cars, furniture, electronics, and other personal items. Then determine who will get what based on what's fair (and legal). If the couple has children together or shared pets during their marriage, these items may be considered marital property that needs to be divided. This is another asset of divorce essential to understanding your rights as LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples. You may have heard that marriage equality is the law of the land, but there are still many nuances to navigating divorce as an LGBTQIA+ individual or couple. Before filing for divorce, it's a good idea to research what protections exist in your state and whether they apply to you personally (or to both individuals). For example: · Do same-sex couples have equal access to alimony? · Can I file for legal separation if we're not married yet but planning on getting married someday soon? · Does my spouse need my consent before filing for divorce against me? There you have it in a nutshell. Is it all fair? No, but what in life is it? Stay informed, keep a level head, and educate yourself, then learn even more. Knowledge is key. You have A LOT to think about during this process, and we hope these tips will help you navigate it without too much angst. If you're ready for more information or want to discuss your situation with an LGBTQIA+-friendly attorney, please go to www.lgbtdivorcelawyer.com or call (844) 817-6273. And BTW…Happy Pride Month to everyone 🏳️‍🌈 Erin Time to Dish: What has your experience been with your divorce? Do you have a reasonable attorney you could share with our team? What has been the largest hurdle?

If you're considering dating a divorced man, it's super important to understand what they've been through. If a man is ready to date again after getting divorced, he may likely have baggage from his marriage that could affect his relationship with you. Here are some things women should consider about dating divorced men: Men (& Women) can be unpredictable during a divorce. They may not be able to express their feelings, and they might become depressed or angry. This is normal for men, who are often afraid of vulnerability and don't always know how to deal with emotions. If you’re going to “go there,” this is when he needs your support, not added stress. Divorced men often want to date again, and they want to feel desired, loved, and wanted again. Don’t we all? Most people have these natural feelings when in a new relationship, so it's no surprise that divorced men would also wish to do those same things! Divorced women should remember this when going out with divorced men, as they may seek more than friendship or companionship. Many divorced men are ready to remarry but DO NO – I repeat, do not – want to remarry their ex-wives, so just put that one out of your head. While they may have been married for many years, and there were good times during that marriage, most divorced men have also experienced the pain of divorce and would like a new beginning with someone who understands what they've been through. They may also want someone who doesn't remind them of their ex-wife, e.g., someone with different interests or personality traits than she had. Divorced men want someone who can relate to their situation and has a similar background. Many divorced men have children from previous marriages or current relationships, so you must be OK with kids if you go out with one of these guys. Divorced men might have trust, commitment, and intimacy issues. They may be insecure about their role as a man or feel like they failed somehow by being unable to save their former marriage. Divorce can also trigger feelings of loneliness, anger, and depression for divorced men, and they may feel guilty about their decision to separate. Understanding what divorced men want and needs is essential before you start dating one. You should know that divorced men have been through a lot. They've likely endured a lot of pain and challenges. And they may have also had to deal with losing their children or other family members, which is heartbreaking for anyone. OK, here’s a good one: Divorced men are often more mature than guys who aren't divorced because they've already experienced so much in life (usually). This means that you should probably expect them not only to have more experience with dating but also to understand how it works better than most people do at first glance (yes, that includes you too). It's also vital for women who date divorced men to realize that these men tend to be more sensitive because they know what it feels like when someone leaves them behind without any warning whatsoever. Therefore, they may feel more strongly about certain subjects (religion, politics, etc.) because those topics matter greatly when considering marriage/relationships before committing fully to something new after having lost everything once already. Divorced men can be great to date, but you need to understand what they're going through and what kind of a woman they want. A man ready for a new relationship may have different needs than one who has just gotten out of one (read: he needs/wants time alone). Knowing this will help you avoid getting hurt or wasting your time on someone who isn't on your wavelength. Peace my friends! Erin Time to Dish: Have you dated a divorced man? How did it go? Did they bash their ex? Did they give their ex compliments? Why did they divorce? It's ok to ask and share.

As a single woman or man, you find yourself loving multiple people; it can be confusing. You may feel like you can't settle down in a relationship or have difficulty committing to anyone. However, if you find yourself loving more than one person at once, then it's likely that your heart is doing its best to show you love in any way possible! This doesn't mean that things are "wrong" with your feelings of attraction or desire for others; instead, your relationships are just as unique and different as every other. So how do we know when it's okay to love multiple people? In this post, I'll discuss why it's okay to love multiple people at once, how those feelings manifest in our relationships with others around us (and ourselves), and how they affect how we treat ourselves throughout such experiences. Let’s start with the following: If you think you're polyamorous, it doesn't mean you're cheating. Polyamory is not about having multiple sex partners or cheating on your partner, it's about loving more than one person at a time. While this might sound like an excuse for infidelity to some people, it isn't at all. You can be faithful and still love multiple people at once. Polyamory isn't a sexual orientation; it's a relationship orientation. Polyamory is about being honest and open about your needs and having multiple relationships with honesty and communication. And it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, who you're attracted to, or how many partners you want in your life. Instead, polyamorous women and men are simply those who choose to openly acknowledge their ability to love more than one person at once, and they usually do so by entering into multiple romantic relationships concurrently (as opposed to serially). You can still be monogamous if you love multiple people. Simply put, here are the facts: o You can be monogamous and have multiple partners. o You can be monogamous and not have multiple relationships. o Or, if that doesn't work for you, there's always the option of being in one relationship with more than one person (aka polyamory). Loving multiple people doesn't make you a bad person or a cheater; it just means that your needs differ from others, and you're willing to acknowledge them. In a polyamory relationship, you can love multiple people at once. You're not cheating on your partner(s) if they know and are okay with it (though some partners might not be). Polyamory is not a sexual orientation--it's an orientation around relationships. Polyamorous relationships are often called "open" or "polyfidelity," meaning there are no rules against seeing other people. Still, everyone involved knows about each other and agrees that it's OK for everyone involved to date other people outside the primary relationship(s). Polyfidelity consists in making an explicit commitment between all partners involved to ensure that each person has equal access to their needs being met within the context of having multiple partners. In conclusion, I hope this article has helped you understand that polyamory isn't just about sex. It's about loving multiple people and being honest with yourself and your partners. You can still be monogamous if you love multiple people, but your needs may differ from others. The most important thing to remember is those loving multiple people doesn't make you a bad person or a cheater: It just means that your needs are different than others, and you're willing to talk about them. Xo, Erin Time to Dish: What are your thoughts on this topic? If you agree, why? If you disagree, why? Have you had feelings for multiple people?

“Well, I heard it on the street I heard you mighta found somebody new, yeah… I took it all for granted But how was I to know That you'd be letting go.” - Bryan Adams, “Cuts Like a Knife,” 1983 I once had a friend who loved another man. She knew this man for years before finally falling in love with him. However, he only saw her as a friend and never wanted anything more than that from her. To him, that was all they would ever be; friends. Between the texts – oh God, the readers – coffees, phone calls, etc. he made it very clear they would never be more than pals. This was painful enough for her to handle, but one day he started dating another woman after my friend had fallen in love with him! She could not take this betrayal, so she left town and went somewhere else to begin a new life where no one knew her, then returned home when she felt better and more confident about herself. Painful, huh? Let’s look at this a bit further: When you love someone, and they don't love you back. It’s not fair. It doesn’t feel right, and it hurts so much and sometimes feels like it will never end. You want to leave, but you can't because they won't let go of your hand, and the only way out is on their terms. Ouch. And even if they did let go, who would be there for you? Who would take care of your wounds? Obviously, by now, you’ve figured out this ‘friend’ is yours truly. And I want things to work out so severely between this man and me, but I know deep down that there will never be anything more than friendship between us. Nobody else understands what I'm going through as he does, and nobody else knows exactly how this feels except him. And while maybe another person who’s been through something similar could relate, there are no guarantees regarding such matters, which makes things even harder on top of everything else mentioned above. When you find someone you love but they are dating other people. Friends, you are not alone. You feel you’ll never be able to compete with other people now. Whether that’s true or not, the actual reality is that they will likely never love you back. It’s how they’re wired. Your feelings are accurate and valid, but they won't change how your guy/girl feels about their current partner(s). Fact: They're dating someone else. It's no fun being in love with someone who isn't yours, but at least now we know why this happened because THEY ARE DATING SOMEONE ELSE! The pain of loving someone that doesn't love you back is terrible. It is like a knife cutting you over and over again. You can never forget about it, even if you want to. It hurts more than anything else that has ever happened to you. It is not like an ordinary hurt; it is a deep pain that goes straight through your chest and into your heart. No matter what else you do or how hard you try, it seems never to go away. It lingers there around every corner, waiting to pounce. My conclusion? As I've said before, love is a complicated thing. It can hurt so much but also make us feel so good at the same time. We all experience it at one point or another because it is part of being human. If your partner has fallen for someone else, you can do nothing about it except accept that fact and move on. Remember, cuts heal and hang tough out there when things don’t work out. My heart is with you! Erin Time to Dish: Can you relate to this scenario? Have you spoken to this person about it? Are you feeling like a victim? Waiting + Waiting? How are you going to move on?

Have any of you had an experience where you have dreamt of other men during your marriage or before or after? I have, and it has been intense for over ten years or now 20 ish of dreaming. So, of course, I went to seek out this person, and they are dating someone and still dating someone. It's the kind of person who has stolen a piece of me that makes me happy and laugh a lot. Though I now know nothing will ever happen. Update- he doesn't have a life partner yet. This makes me think, is there still hope? A: No idea. We remain close friends and co-workers on his business, which is great for him and me; sometimes, we talk all the time, some weeks, and maybe we see each other very briefly. I had a friend see us recently while we were out for coffee, and she said gosh, you all look so natural together. However, we have had a special bond for over 30 years. He gets me, and I believe I call him. Most days I have a glimmer of hope that he will notice me as more than a friend. I still hold onto the fantasy that we would live together and be partners, laughing, traveling, and creating a world for ourselves. At some point, I must give up this (believe me, I know) and know, hopefully, we will be friends for the rest of our lives. I am tempted to tell him my feelings are still there and more intense than ever; I am just a girl that loves a boy...that may not know I'm an option. If you have someone who feels the same way, go for it and stay strong. Time to Dish: Do you have someone you want to be with? Have you told them? If so, how did it go? If not, why not? Are you willing to take that chance?

I've been an on-and-off user of dating applications for a while now. It seems to be a necessary evil when you’re divorced and single. You can meet other people and find your soulmate there, but there are many downsides. Weirdness is the most common reason users cite for leaving a dating app. People don't like to feel embarrassed, and they especially don't like it when other people make them feel ashamed. This is one of the few things that can cause someone to delete an app. But why does weirdness happen? People aren't honest about themselves in their profiles (or even worse, they flat-out lie). If you're going to meet someone face-to-face, you need accurate information about whom you're talking with. And suppose you keep your information private about yourself and your preferences about dating partners early in the conversation. In that case, I guarantee some awkward moments later on down the road. Now about pics, particularly selfies people post on dating apps. Bathrooms are gross, period; no way, no how. They're where we wash our bodies and brush our teeth but also where we vomit, take dumps, and get sick. Bathrooms are disgusting, and no one should ever want to spend any time in them – even the cleanest ones and not for a selfie - except maybe if you have to pee badly because it's necessary (and even then, it still can be gross). Net net, why would anyone take a picture in a bathroom? So unnecessary. Next, being a "big fish" in an online dating pool can be pretty appealing if you're a guy. After all, it's flattering to think that women are so desperate for your attention that they'll overlook your flaws and send you messages blindly… it's even more positive when they respond! So, if you're receiving this attention (and let's face it, most guys are), then being a big fish isn't so great after all. Why? Because most women don't like big fish at all, and if you're not careful, they may swipe left on your profile before giving it another glance. Why the F do we want to see what you caught last weekend? WE DO NOT CARE; WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE? With all of the above, it should be no surprise that I don't like dating apps, and they make me feel like unattractive males constantly surround me. But wait! Plenty of apps are designed to match people based on mutual interests and traits. However, many don't consider that most women have their idea about what constitutes an attractive man, and 100% of it involves more than looks. It's not just physical appearance either; some men can be handsome but still have no game (we'll get into this later). In my experience, there are three main categories: 1) Ugly men or "ugly"; 2) good-looking guys aren't attractive enough for me to want a relationship with them (note these may fall under either category, ugly or attractive); and 3) attractive men who possess other qualities that make them worth pursuing as boyfriend material…they’re the ones I'm looking for. Back to pics for a minute before I close: If you're on a dating app and have photos of yourself at the gym, this is a big red flag. Men only take pictures of themselves at the gym because they’re trying to show off how fit and healthy they are or want people who know what they're doing to think that about them. Either way, it's not good for your chances with me or anyone else. I will swipe left on anyone with gym photos as their main profile picture (sometimes even when it isn't). I've seen too many guys use this tactic as an attempt at validation from others or self-esteem boosting in general. It’s selfish and vain, and I don't need any more egomaniacs than what comes naturally annually. Right? So, all in all, It's safe to say that I am done with dating apps. The only people who use them seem to be desperate losers who can't get a date in real life. If you want more than just an online hookup, try meeting people in real life instead of wasting time on these sites. That’s my take. Time to Dish: What are your thoughts on these dating sites? Have you found one? Do you love and meet quality people? Do you find common interests? What do you want out of a dating application?

Being single and not having a partner is complex, and you need to find ways that work for you to feel good about yourself and cope with the loneliness of being on your own. How? You can do many sexual things by yourself, masturbation being one of the tops (pardon the pun). When you get into the habit of masturbating regularly, it will release tension, make you feel better about your body (because who doesn't love sex and feeling sexy?), and help pass the time- erotically - when there's no one around. Meanwhile, as masturbation can be healthy and fun, other ways exist to help your efforts when no one else is around. If porn turns you on or watching two people having sex makes your juices flow, get on it, ladies and gentlemen! We're going inside this section (literally) to discuss how these activities can keep you sexually satisfied even when your single life gets lonely. First things first, though: Being single is different from being alone. The two can be different, but they're not always mutually exclusive. Take our friend, Lila, for example. She is single and has been so for a few years and is happy with it. However, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a social life or friends who care about her…she does. And while her romantic life isn't currently what it used to be, that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy having sex with herself now and again. Because who doesn't? FOR REAL. Suppose you're looking for ways how to deal with your sexual needs when you're single or want some tips on how to navigate dating while in this stage of your life without feeling like an outcast among others, then look no further than this blog post. We’re here to give you confidence knowing that even though things may seem bleak right now, you are not alone in this struggle, nor will you ever be truly alone because there are other people like yourself. We’re all dealing with similar issues as well as our own unique experiences. Back to self-love: Masturbation is a great way to release tension and help you sleep better. Plus, it's a good way for men with trouble getting it “up” or women with vaginal dryness during sex. The M-word also has mental health benefits: It reduces stress and anxiety, helps people fall asleep faster, and lowers depression, amongst other mood disorders (e.g., bipolar disorder). Plus, it can make you feel younger. Hell yeah! If you have a partner and want to spice up your sex life, watching porn together can be a fun way to try something new. Most of us have watched some form of adult entertainment, and most people enjoy watching it, even if we do not admit it out loud (truth). But what about those times when you want something more than just watching? Maybe you're single or just not feeling your partner right now. In those cases, porn might get the juices flowing, and there are plenty of ways to get started without spending money… Sex is about more than two people having sexual intercourse, and having sex with yourself is just one way to satisfy your needs. Remember, sex is also a way of communicating, expressing affection and love, and building relationships. It's something that you can do with yourself or with another person. Note here: Many types of self-play do not involve penetration or intercourse, and some can get intense. If you have never tried these things, looking up different types online is best. Google stimulating toys online and see if they interest you. You can find many online if you do not want to go to your local shops. Lastly, online dating services are also helpful if the desire is to have sex with someone else on the spot without having any romantic feelings toward them (WARNING: Condoms, dams, and other protection are essential here). This might sound odd for people who aren't single parents or widows/widowers living alone. Still, the truth is that many single adults do enjoy casual sexual encounters from time to time regardless of their marital status or whether there's any chance those encounters will lead anywhere beyond one night together. I know it can be hard to find a partner, but I hope these tips will help you on your journey. If you are looking for love and sex correctly, you should have zero trouble finding someone who wants to spend time with you…even if it’s just you 😉. Be safe and have fun, Erin Time to Dish · Are you masturbating? If not, you should try · Why are you embarrassed? · Have you had a one-night stand to satisfy your craving? · Do you have a good friend with benefits? · What supplies do you have or do you need?