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As a single woman or man, you find yourself loving multiple people; it can be confusing. You may feel like you can't settle down in a relationship or have difficulty committing to anyone. However, if you find yourself loving more than one person at once, then it's likely that your heart is doing its best to show you love in any way possible! This doesn't mean that things are "wrong" with your feelings of attraction or desire for others; instead, your relationships are just as unique and different as every other. So how do we know when it's okay to love multiple people? In this post, I'll discuss why it's okay to love multiple people at once, how those feelings manifest in our relationships with others around us (and ourselves), and how they affect how we treat ourselves throughout such experiences. Let’s start with the following: If you think you're polyamorous, it doesn't mean you're cheating. Polyamory is not about having multiple sex partners or cheating on your partner, it's about loving more than one person at a time. While this might sound like an excuse for infidelity to some people, it isn't at all. You can be faithful and still love multiple people at once. Polyamory isn't a sexual orientation; it's a relationship orientation. Polyamory is about being honest and open about your needs and having multiple relationships with honesty and communication. And it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, who you're attracted to, or how many partners you want in your life. Instead, polyamorous women and men are simply those who choose to openly acknowledge their ability to love more than one person at once, and they usually do so by entering into multiple romantic relationships concurrently (as opposed to serially). You can still be monogamous if you love multiple people. Simply put, here are the facts: o You can be monogamous and have multiple partners. o You can be monogamous and not have multiple relationships. o Or, if that doesn't work for you, there's always the option of being in one relationship with more than one person (aka polyamory). Loving multiple people doesn't make you a bad person or a cheater; it just means that your needs differ from others, and you're willing to acknowledge them. In a polyamory relationship, you can love multiple people at once. You're not cheating on your partner(s) if they know and are okay with it (though some partners might not be). Polyamory is not a sexual orientation--it's an orientation around relationships. Polyamorous relationships are often called "open" or "polyfidelity," meaning there are no rules against seeing other people. Still, everyone involved knows about each other and agrees that it's OK for everyone involved to date other people outside the primary relationship(s). Polyfidelity consists in making an explicit commitment between all partners involved to ensure that each person has equal access to their needs being met within the context of having multiple partners. In conclusion, I hope this article has helped you understand that polyamory isn't just about sex. It's about loving multiple people and being honest with yourself and your partners. You can still be monogamous if you love multiple people, but your needs may differ from others. The most important thing to remember is those loving multiple people doesn't make you a bad person or a cheater: It just means that your needs are different than others, and you're willing to talk about them. Xo, Erin Time to Dish: What are your thoughts on this topic? If you agree, why? If you disagree, why? Have you had feelings for multiple people?

“Well, I heard it on the street I heard you mighta found somebody new, yeah… I took it all for granted But how was I to know That you'd be letting go.” - Bryan Adams, “Cuts Like a Knife,” 1983 I once had a friend who loved another man. She knew this man for years before finally falling in love with him. However, he only saw her as a friend and never wanted anything more than that from her. To him, that was all they would ever be; friends. Between the texts – oh God, the readers – coffees, phone calls, etc. he made it very clear they would never be more than pals. This was painful enough for her to handle, but one day he started dating another woman after my friend had fallen in love with him! She could not take this betrayal, so she left town and went somewhere else to begin a new life where no one knew her, then returned home when she felt better and more confident about herself. Painful, huh? Let’s look at this a bit further: When you love someone, and they don't love you back. It’s not fair. It doesn’t feel right, and it hurts so much and sometimes feels like it will never end. You want to leave, but you can't because they won't let go of your hand, and the only way out is on their terms. Ouch. And even if they did let go, who would be there for you? Who would take care of your wounds? Obviously, by now, you’ve figured out this ‘friend’ is yours truly. And I want things to work out so severely between this man and me, but I know deep down that there will never be anything more than friendship between us. Nobody else understands what I'm going through as he does, and nobody else knows exactly how this feels except him. And while maybe another person who’s been through something similar could relate, there are no guarantees regarding such matters, which makes things even harder on top of everything else mentioned above. When you find someone you love but they are dating other people. Friends, you are not alone. You feel you’ll never be able to compete with other people now. Whether that’s true or not, the actual reality is that they will likely never love you back. It’s how they’re wired. Your feelings are accurate and valid, but they won't change how your guy/girl feels about their current partner(s). Fact: They're dating someone else. It's no fun being in love with someone who isn't yours, but at least now we know why this happened because THEY ARE DATING SOMEONE ELSE! The pain of loving someone that doesn't love you back is terrible. It is like a knife cutting you over and over again. You can never forget about it, even if you want to. It hurts more than anything else that has ever happened to you. It is not like an ordinary hurt; it is a deep pain that goes straight through your chest and into your heart. No matter what else you do or how hard you try, it seems never to go away. It lingers there around every corner, waiting to pounce. My conclusion? As I've said before, love is a complicated thing. It can hurt so much but also make us feel so good at the same time. We all experience it at one point or another because it is part of being human. If your partner has fallen for someone else, you can do nothing about it except accept that fact and move on. Remember, cuts heal and hang tough out there when things don’t work out. My heart is with you! Erin Time to Dish: Can you relate to this scenario? Have you spoken to this person about it? Are you feeling like a victim? Waiting + Waiting? How are you going to move on?

Have any of you had an experience where you have dreamt of other men during your marriage or before or after? I have, and it has been intense for over ten years or now 20 ish of dreaming. So, of course, I went to seek out this person, and they are dating someone and still dating someone. It's the kind of person who has stolen a piece of me that makes me happy and laugh a lot. Though I now know nothing will ever happen. Update- he doesn't have a life partner yet. This makes me think, is there still hope? A: No idea. We remain close friends and co-workers on his business, which is great for him and me; sometimes, we talk all the time, some weeks, and maybe we see each other very briefly. I had a friend see us recently while we were out for coffee, and she said gosh, you all look so natural together. However, we have had a special bond for over 30 years. He gets me, and I believe I call him. Most days I have a glimmer of hope that he will notice me as more than a friend. I still hold onto the fantasy that we would live together and be partners, laughing, traveling, and creating a world for ourselves. At some point, I must give up this (believe me, I know) and know, hopefully, we will be friends for the rest of our lives. I am tempted to tell him my feelings are still there and more intense than ever; I am just a girl that loves a boy...that may not know I'm an option. If you have someone who feels the same way, go for it and stay strong. Time to Dish: Do you have someone you want to be with? Have you told them? If so, how did it go? If not, why not? Are you willing to take that chance?

I've been an on-and-off user of dating applications for a while now. It seems to be a necessary evil when you’re divorced and single. You can meet other people and find your soulmate there, but there are many downsides. Weirdness is the most common reason users cite for leaving a dating app. People don't like to feel embarrassed, and they especially don't like it when other people make them feel ashamed. This is one of the few things that can cause someone to delete an app. But why does weirdness happen? People aren't honest about themselves in their profiles (or even worse, they flat-out lie). If you're going to meet someone face-to-face, you need accurate information about whom you're talking with. And suppose you keep your information private about yourself and your preferences about dating partners early in the conversation. In that case, I guarantee some awkward moments later on down the road. Now about pics, particularly selfies people post on dating apps. Bathrooms are gross, period; no way, no how. They're where we wash our bodies and brush our teeth but also where we vomit, take dumps, and get sick. Bathrooms are disgusting, and no one should ever want to spend any time in them – even the cleanest ones and not for a selfie - except maybe if you have to pee badly because it's necessary (and even then, it still can be gross). Net net, why would anyone take a picture in a bathroom? So unnecessary. Next, being a "big fish" in an online dating pool can be pretty appealing if you're a guy. After all, it's flattering to think that women are so desperate for your attention that they'll overlook your flaws and send you messages blindly… it's even more positive when they respond! So, if you're receiving this attention (and let's face it, most guys are), then being a big fish isn't so great after all. Why? Because most women don't like big fish at all, and if you're not careful, they may swipe left on your profile before giving it another glance. Why the F do we want to see what you caught last weekend? WE DO NOT CARE; WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE? With all of the above, it should be no surprise that I don't like dating apps, and they make me feel like unattractive males constantly surround me. But wait! Plenty of apps are designed to match people based on mutual interests and traits. However, many don't consider that most women have their idea about what constitutes an attractive man, and 100% of it involves more than looks. It's not just physical appearance either; some men can be handsome but still have no game (we'll get into this later). In my experience, there are three main categories: 1) Ugly men or "ugly"; 2) good-looking guys aren't attractive enough for me to want a relationship with them (note these may fall under either category, ugly or attractive); and 3) attractive men who possess other qualities that make them worth pursuing as boyfriend material…they’re the ones I'm looking for. Back to pics for a minute before I close: If you're on a dating app and have photos of yourself at the gym, this is a big red flag. Men only take pictures of themselves at the gym because they’re trying to show off how fit and healthy they are or want people who know what they're doing to think that about them. Either way, it's not good for your chances with me or anyone else. I will swipe left on anyone with gym photos as their main profile picture (sometimes even when it isn't). I've seen too many guys use this tactic as an attempt at validation from others or self-esteem boosting in general. It’s selfish and vain, and I don't need any more egomaniacs than what comes naturally annually. Right? So, all in all, It's safe to say that I am done with dating apps. The only people who use them seem to be desperate losers who can't get a date in real life. If you want more than just an online hookup, try meeting people in real life instead of wasting time on these sites. That’s my take. Time to Dish: What are your thoughts on these dating sites? Have you found one? Do you love and meet quality people? Do you find common interests? What do you want out of a dating application?

Being single and not having a partner is complex, and you need to find ways that work for you to feel good about yourself and cope with the loneliness of being on your own. How? You can do many sexual things by yourself, masturbation being one of the tops (pardon the pun). When you get into the habit of masturbating regularly, it will release tension, make you feel better about your body (because who doesn't love sex and feeling sexy?), and help pass the time- erotically - when there's no one around. Meanwhile, as masturbation can be healthy and fun, other ways exist to help your efforts when no one else is around. If porn turns you on or watching two people having sex makes your juices flow, get on it, ladies and gentlemen! We're going inside this section (literally) to discuss how these activities can keep you sexually satisfied even when your single life gets lonely. First things first, though: Being single is different from being alone. The two can be different, but they're not always mutually exclusive. Take our friend, Lila, for example. She is single and has been so for a few years and is happy with it. However, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a social life or friends who care about her…she does. And while her romantic life isn't currently what it used to be, that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy having sex with herself now and again. Because who doesn't? FOR REAL. Suppose you're looking for ways how to deal with your sexual needs when you're single or want some tips on how to navigate dating while in this stage of your life without feeling like an outcast among others, then look no further than this blog post. We’re here to give you confidence knowing that even though things may seem bleak right now, you are not alone in this struggle, nor will you ever be truly alone because there are other people like yourself. We’re all dealing with similar issues as well as our own unique experiences. Back to self-love: Masturbation is a great way to release tension and help you sleep better. Plus, it's a good way for men with trouble getting it “up” or women with vaginal dryness during sex. The M-word also has mental health benefits: It reduces stress and anxiety, helps people fall asleep faster, and lowers depression, amongst other mood disorders (e.g., bipolar disorder). Plus, it can make you feel younger. Hell yeah! If you have a partner and want to spice up your sex life, watching porn together can be a fun way to try something new. Most of us have watched some form of adult entertainment, and most people enjoy watching it, even if we do not admit it out loud (truth). But what about those times when you want something more than just watching? Maybe you're single or just not feeling your partner right now. In those cases, porn might get the juices flowing, and there are plenty of ways to get started without spending money… Sex is about more than two people having sexual intercourse, and having sex with yourself is just one way to satisfy your needs. Remember, sex is also a way of communicating, expressing affection and love, and building relationships. It's something that you can do with yourself or with another person. Note here: Many types of self-play do not involve penetration or intercourse, and some can get intense. If you have never tried these things, looking up different types online is best. Google stimulating toys online and see if they interest you. You can find many online if you do not want to go to your local shops. Lastly, online dating services are also helpful if the desire is to have sex with someone else on the spot without having any romantic feelings toward them (WARNING: Condoms, dams, and other protection are essential here). This might sound odd for people who aren't single parents or widows/widowers living alone. Still, the truth is that many single adults do enjoy casual sexual encounters from time to time regardless of their marital status or whether there's any chance those encounters will lead anywhere beyond one night together. I know it can be hard to find a partner, but I hope these tips will help you on your journey. If you are looking for love and sex correctly, you should have zero trouble finding someone who wants to spend time with you…even if it’s just you 😉. Be safe and have fun, Erin Time to Dish · Are you masturbating? If not, you should try · Why are you embarrassed? · Have you had a one-night stand to satisfy your craving? · Do you have a good friend with benefits? · What supplies do you have or do you need?

We were honored to be a guest on Young Dad Pod this week. Give it a listen :)! 1/2 marriages in the United States end in divorce. Your host Jey is happily divorced. As odd as that may sound, it was best for himself, his ex-wife, and his two beautiful girls. Today's guest, Erin Jones, founder/CEO of In-Mode Marketing and founder of the 'Divorcee Dish,' joined us this week on the show. Erin and Jey talk about all sorts of things regarding divorce, what it might look like, and deep dive into what life after divorce looks like, from being forgotten by friends to swinging endlessly, single parenting, and much more. If you're divorced, buckle up. This episode is in your wheelhouse; it's excellent! You can find more of Erin on IG https://www.instagram.com/divorceedishscoop. Also, you can read her fantastic blog: https://www.divorceedish.com/ Recently launched on the site is the original and inspiring creation by Jey, the 'Well-Balanced Dad Diet'; this creation of words, challenges, inspiration, and first-hand perspective is giving parents everywhere some extra tools to work on themselves to be the parent, partner, friend, and person they want to be. Check it out: https://www.ballboymedia.com/theballboyblog/categories/young-dad-blog. Recently launched was the Young Dad Podcast- Facebook Page. We would love it if you followed and supported us as we grow and expand the Podcast. Spotify Listeners: Ask us ANYTHING, and we will answer it on our next show. Also, leave five stars if you would be so kind. YouTube Audience: Hit that subscribe button, like the video, comment, and share. Apple Podcasters: Leave a 5 Star Rating and a review for us to read on our next show. Other Platform: Rate, review, comment, and share the Podcast with a friend. Follow us @youngdadpod on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter You can find us on our website at ballboymedia.com Remember to hit our linktree for all our deals: https://linktr.ee/BallBoyBlog.

Who doesn’t need a little solace from time to time? Whether you're struggling with a breakup, missing someone special in your life, or feeling overwhelmed by the daily grind of work, kids, you name it, sometimes you need to escape and find peace. No matter how long you have been divorced – or if you’re starting the process - you may or may not have any strong feelings about your divorce or ex-soon-to-be ex-spouse. If there are, that person must likely be influential but get ready; they may have moved on from all emotions towards you, like anger or sadness, whether you like it or not. However, most people don't move on that quickly in real life. Some take longer than others, depending on how long you were married, how close you were with each other before marrying, if you reminisce about good and bad times, etc. So, when you start dating again, you may be nervous and a bit self-conscious, which is normal. It doesn’t mean every relationship you pursue after becoming single again will end in such an emotional rollercoaster. Dating when you're divorced has its challenges; however, it can be difficult because some people may assume they need to treat you differently than they would otherwise because of your past relationship status. If they don’t, then you have a clean and fresh slate. Terrific! Now you can reinvent yourself and be who you want to be. It's vital for anyone who has recently been through a divorce or breakup to remember their value as a person regardless of whether they were married before or not and how that marriage went. If someone treats me differently because of a past relationship history instead of treating me equally across all aspects of life, then that person isn't worth my time. Do I hear an amen? And JSYK, taking time off from dating is OK when you're not ready. Don't rush into another relationship too soon. Focus on yourself and your needs right now. If you need some space for dating and romance, that's completely fine, so don’t force yourself back into the ‘scene; if you’re more comfortable being there right now. Remember, this is your time. That stated, reflecting on what went wrong with your last relationship can be helpful before jumping back into things (or never jumping at all). If you have an abusive situation or are unhealthy, consider seeing a therapist who specializes in relationship issues so they can help guide you through making healthy choices about who enters your life this time and whether another person should be involved. Note: If it's been a while since your breakup, do you still feel sad? That's OK, too, because it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or you aren’t ‘normal’; it just means you need extra time and support. You may be wondering how long you should wait before dating again. There's no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but here are some things to keep in mind: It might be best to have time to heal and get your head together after a breakup. Your ex will probably still be on your mind and could even come up in conversations with people who don't know what happened between you. Tread lightly on the above, especially if it’s a perspective new romance, because too much or too little info may be hard for some people to grasp. Yes, they should know what happened, but you don’t have to go into your entire life history with your ex. Breakups can be messy and cause sadness and grief, so give yourself as much time as possible before trying anything new, especially dating. If it feels right, then go for it. But again, tread carefully… I know it's hard to go through breakups and bad relationships, but you don't have to rush into another one immediately, and in my humble opinion, DON’T. Not yet. You deserve time to discover your solo happiness; focusing on that might be more fruitful. You be you, and when you are ready, it will happen. Promise! Take care out there, Erin Let's Dish: How quickly did you go out on your first date after your divorce? How did that go? Did you feel like it was too soon? Did you feel confident this is something you wanted to make happen?

You've made it through one of the most challenging periods of your life, and you're back on your own two feet and in charge of how you want to live. That's a pretty cool feeling but it can also be scary and overwhelming. However, if you take it one step at a time, there's no reason why this transition should be anything other than positive for your life. Start by stopping comparing yourself to other people. There are many ways in which you and other people differ. You might be a woman, and he is a man; one is tall, another short; one has brown hair, another blonde. The list goes on and on; remember, they don't share the same experiences or life as yours. You know you or are getting to know the new you. Now that you're single again, it can be easy to feel like your emotions are great some days and not others; at some point, they will stop changing every few minutes. Note: Your feelings aren't as random as they seem; they're part of a natural cycle called "the grief process." This means there are certain stages we go through when someone leaves us (or is ill or dies), or something goes wrong in our relationships with others. They include shock/denial; anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance. These stages aren't necessarily linear or predictable (in fact, many of them skip around quite a bit), but understanding them can help us know what kind of things might happen during this period so we can better understand ourselves and prepare ourselves for whatever else may come next. Best case scenario? Permit yourself to feel all your feelings. That's right, because you should be allowed to handle your feelings about being newly single! Sad, angry, frustrated, and even happy are all normal emotions that come with this time in your life. And if you feel a mixture of all these things at once? That's fine too! While growing up, you may have been conditioned that it's not okay for someone who has lost a loved one or been through some traumatic event (like divorce) to be sad while also being happy at the same time. But guess what? There’s no rule against having conflicting emotions all at once, and there shouldn't be any rules about how we express ourselves, either, especially when it comes down to something as personal as our own emotional experience during times like these (read: divorce) when there isn't an easy answer or solution available anyway! After divorce, being a single man or woman is an opportunity to grow, find yourself, and live on your terms. Your terms. You also don't have to rush into a new relationship, for goodness sake. Take time to heal from the emotional trauma of divorce and focus on yourself. Here are some ways to use this time: · Spend more time with friends and family. Being alone can lead to depression or loneliness, so you must surround yourself with positive people who love you unconditionally (even if they don't always agree with what you're doing). · Explore new hobbies or interests. Now is an excellent time for reinvention! Try something new, like learning to play a musical instrument or taking karate classes at the local gymnasium (that’ll eliminate any residual feelings of anger over your ex!). Whatever makes sense for your lifestyle right now will help keep things fresh while also delivering a balance between your work/life responsibilities! · Travel! A trip is an instant refresher, whether going away somewhere close to home, like a local hotel, or jetting away somewhere. It would be best to remember that being single after divorce is not permanent and doesn't mean your life is over. It's a new beginning and an opportunity to grow, find yourself, and live. The critical thing to remember is that there will be good and bad days, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, things will eventually improve, and you’ll start to feel better before you know it. Onward & Upward, Erin Time to Dish: What new activities have you done since being single? Have you picked up a new hobby? If not, what are you interested in? Think about how to meet new people. Journal it. Are you interested in someone? Don't be afraid to tell them.

To all the single moms raising children independently, you are the most amazing women I have ever known. You have a tough job but do it gracefully and with incredible strength. Here at Divorcee Dish, we’re saluting the single moms working hard to provide their families with everything they need, including discipline, manners, respect for each other, and LOVE. You, my friends, are the most amazing woman on earth. You are my heroes; I admire and am in awe of your strength and courage daily. And while single moms may not have a partner to lean on or help with household chores, you still make it all work by yourself and sometimes even better than if two people were involved! You are an inspiration to me as well as other women who strive to raise healthy children in a loving, positive environment. You are exemplary role models for your children. They see how you live with love and selflessness, even when you’re going through hard times. They learn from the choices you make every day: that there is always room in our hearts for more people (including pets), no matter how tiny our homes may be; that everyone deserves respect regardless of their appearance or background and that we should never judge others based on first impressions alone; that everyone contributes something to this world; and so much more. As a single mother, you inspire others by example: showing them what courage looks like; demonstrating how one can remain positive even when things seem hopeless and bleak; and showing them how important it is to keep fighting until victory has been achieved (or at least peace has been reached). You're also an inspiration because even though life gets tough - and no matter what happens during those rough patches - you find ways each day to keep going forward instead of giving up or becoming bitter about past mistakes, failures, or losses. On Mother's Day this Sunday, take time for yourself and enjoy all you have. And it doesn’t end there: fulfill your needs, not only on Mother’s Day but by practicing self-care every day, 365/24/7. We love you all, we're grateful for all you do, and we hope your Mother's Day is filled with joy and happiness for you, your family, and your friends. From the Divorcee Dish family to yours, Happy, Happy Mother’s Day!

We all have that one friend who is always bragging about how good their sex life is. You may even be that person, but typically, we’re wired not to like that person- ha! However, your friends and family won’t know what it's like when you are having sex with your partner, past or present, nor do they need to know. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve your sex life and even teach each other new things, but some couples get frustrated when they do not match up in bed or feel like they are "bad in bed." It’s normal, especially when you’re with a new partner. However, if you want to improve your sex life - and maybe teach each other some new moves along the way - read on for our tips on ensuring that both people enjoy themselves: First, it's essential to understand that many people have sex and don't like it. Swear! If they do, they're often afraid to say so because they think others will think less of them or their partner will be disappointed. Most people would rather not have sex than have lousy sex, even if the person they're having sex with loves them. The reason for this is simple: good sex feels good; lousy sex doesn't feel good and may even hurt sometimes (especially if your partner doesn't know what they are doing). So, when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation when your sexual experiences aren't satisfying both parties involved, what do you do? If you are having ‘bad sex,’ the problem could be your lack of confidence. You need to know what you want. If your partner is doing something you don’t like or something that feels wrong, tell them. They should know now versus later when it might be too late. If they are doing everything right and still aren't getting results, maybe try another position or two. Learning how to have satisfying sex involves the two of you. Discuss what you and your partner like during sex. If either or both of you feel shy talking about this, there are plenty of ways around it. Try writing down lists of things that turn each other on/off. You can also try using toys or props when playing with each other, as these tools can help show your partner what feels good without saying anything that makes either of you uncomfortable. If neither of you has had much sexual activity before, then taking things slowly might be best until both people feel ready for more intense stimulation. But even if this isn't true for either, communication between partners should remain paramount throughout any sexual encounter so that everyone knows exactly where they stand throughout every step along their journey together sexually. If your sexual partner tells you they don't like how you two have sex or think there's something wrong with your technique, don't take it personally (ouch, literally!) This is an opportunity for both of you to grow closer together and explore each other's bodies in new ways. Problems happen when people try new things, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with either person involved or the relationship itself. If you want to be better at sex, talk with your partner about it and reach out to teach each other more. Sex is an essential part of a relationship, but if you find that the quality of your sex life has diminished or become dull or routine, then some things can be done to improve it. One way would be to openly communicate what works best for both of you during sexual activity. This includes discussing what turns each person on physically and emotionally (e.g., being severe versus playful). By doing this regularly throughout your relationship, both participants will learn more about themselves physically and emotionally, which may lead to better relationships overall. Why? Because they will know exactly what their partner needs from them when intimacy occurs. At the end of the day, If you have trouble with your sex life, talking about it with your partner will most definitely help. It's also a good idea to try teaching each other more about what you like and don't like in bed. The more you know about each other, the better your chances of having great sex together! Let’s Dish: Have you had lousy sex after the divorce? How have you handled this situation? Did you talk to the person? Did you resolve the issues? If so, how?

Divorce is a stressful time for any family, but it doesn't have to be something that tears you apart as a couple or pits a parent against a child or vice versa. What to do? Here is a list to review as you transition into the process: Be honest about your feelings. You may think that the person you're divorcing is terrible at the time, and it's easy to let anger get in the way of rational thinking. However, being honest about your feelings will help you move past those feelings and help find solutions for situations like child custody or property division. Be honest about your finances and have an expert look over them. This is crucial. If financial issues are involved in the marriage dissolution process, such as alimony or child support payments due by one party after the divorce has been finalized (or before), having an expert look over these documents can make all the difference in obtaining fair results from the court system. Consider financial areas where dishonesty comes into play - such as income tax evasion or hiding assets from creditors- hire an accountant who specializes in this area. Be reasonable and fair. Yes, FAIR. You may know what you want, but it's also essential to consider the other person's needs. This can help you find a solution that works for both and avoids unnecessary conflict or stress. Be realistic: If there is no possibility of compromise and resolution, it might be best to avoid dragging things out unnecessarily. This is when you run, don’t walk, to a reputable attorney or mediator who can help issues quicker than dragging them out over months or years. Be flexible. Refrain from getting too attached to any idea if another option works better for everyone involved…even if it means letting go of something important (like custody rights). Now for the biggie: Communication. It’s much more than just talking, and it's much more than just listening. And it's not about arguing or avoiding conflict. Fair-for-both-sides-involved communication is sharing information and feelings that allows both people to understand each other while respecting the other person's perspective and needs. Did you read that carefully? If not, do it again because effective communication involves listening carefully to what the other person has to say, thinking about it carefully before responding (instead of reacting), and speaking clearly so that your message comes across accurately. This will ensure your soon-to-be or ex-partner feels safe enough to share their thoughts honestly. A win-win! You'll also need to let go of expectations about how things should look or feel for both parties involved. If one person wants something done one way and another wants another, then compromise is essential. Consider how this could benefit both of you instead of focusing solely on what YOU want out of life now. That stated, it’s crucial to realize that divorce is not the end of the world for your peace of mind and ultimate well-being. I promise! There are many reasons why people get divorced, but the process doesn't have to be filled with drama and negativity. It is possible to co-exist on this planet with your ex and maybe even have a happy life after divorce, moving on without guilt or shame. My final words? You will get through this challenging time if you stay strong and focused on yourself during this process. You may become such an independent and robust badass that some people may not recognize you anymore 😉 And DO NOT let anyone tell you how long it may take because everyone handles situations differently depending on their own experiences in life thus far, so keep moving forward towards your brand of happiness. Remember that there are no hard and fast rules about how to do it, just as long as both parties can ultimately agree on fair terms for you both. Most importantly, you and your ex-partner are happy with the results! You got this! Erin Let's Dish: 1. How did you make your divorce peaceful? 2. Did you both use a divorce lawyer? 3. How did you feel right after your divorce? 4. What was your best coping mechanism?

Written by Maggie Menderski Louisville Courier Journal Greta Hittle’s mother woke her up excitedly on Kentucky Derby Day in 2014. She had a good feeling about this. Greta needed to get back to the track. That urgency had nothing to do with bets her mother wanted to place or even the horse that was favored to win. It had everything to do with a man they’d met in the Paddock just hours before on Kentucky Oaks Day. His name was Mike Hittle. That essentially spoils the end of this story, but I promise you, the journey to get there is well worth your time. Eight years after Greta — who was Greta Aschbacher at the time — met her husband in a fleeting moment at Churchill Downs, she and Mike agreed to tell me their love story. By some miracle, the Hittles found each other in a crowd of 100,000 people on May 2, 2014, and now, they’ve been married for four years and have two beautiful boys. I first learned about how they met after Greta won a prize in the Kentucky Derby Museum's annual story contest in 2021. She'd only written a few sentences to win, but I felt there was so much more to the moment that changed their lives forever. More about the Kentucky Derby:'The final furlong': A day with Silver Charm, the oldest surviving Kentucky Derby winner Their romance unwittingly starts when Mike left friends at their seats to wander the Paddock, soak in the sights, and place a few bets. He spotted Greta, her sister Sadie, and her mother struggling to take a selfie with a traditional camera. From Divorcee Dish, this is one of my favorite love stories ever, my friend Greta! It still inspires me. All copyrights are by the Courier-Journal in Louisville, Ky.